(no subject)
TITLE: Eradication 14
AUTHOR: dragynflies
PAIRING: Cameron/House, Cameron/OC
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: You hate the parallels you can so easily draw between your behavior and Robert’s. You don’t want to remind yourself of what you did, but you don’t want to forget either.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don’t sue.
The comments make me write faster, and I love reading them. Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to post a response, they really do make my day, and writing this makes the horrible dullness of my research papers a little less wretched. :)
You never thought you’d like another lawyer, but Nadia is intelligent, efficient and quick witted. She seems positive about Cameron’s petition for full custody, and she praises your foresight in taking a picture of Blythe’s head. Cameron wants this cut and dry and done with as soon as possible, and you are beginning to think there’s more to her leaving him than just the situation with Blythe. That him pushing her was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and that there’s a whole other separate issue.
But you don’t bring it up. Instead you are the perfect…you don’t know what you are. You help take care of Nathan, you drive Blythe to her Kindergarten class, you pick up dinner three times a week and at night, you and Cameron fall asleep in each other’s arms. To anyone observing, they’d think you were dating. But you don’t try to kiss her, and you don’t push the relationship, because you have no idea what Cameron wants from you.
Robert comes over to pick up Nathan on his afternoon. When he knocks, Cameron takes Blythe and goes into her room to play while you pack up Nathan in his car seat and take your time answering the door.
“Dr. House,” Robert says stiffly, extending his hand. You scoff at him and set Nathan’s carrier down in front of you.
“The court says you can have him for the afternoon. Have my son home at five,” you tell him firmly, and you like the way his eyes widen.
“Your son, Dr. House?” he asks icily, picking up the carrier. Nathan looks from him to you and back to Robert and promptly bursts into tears.
“My son,” you said, “Or he will be, when this is over. Have him back at five. Bottles are in the diaper bag. Don’t screw it up.”
You shut the door in his face because you can’t take watching Nathan cry, and you know there’s nothing you can do to stop Robert’s visitation. You wonder if this is how he felt the first day you met Blythe, but you are pretty sure he was never as doting as he pretended to be.
When Robert and Nathan are gone, you go find Cameron and Blythe in Blythe’s room. Blythe is reading to her mother, carefully sounding out the bigger words and Cameron is doing a fantastic job of pretending to listen.
You clear your throat and Cameron jumps, “He gone? Did he take him? Did he promise to have him back at five?”
She’s horribly nervous about Robert taking Nathan for the day, and she really wasn’t happy when she found out that Robert had been given your address as her primary. She didn’t want him to know where she was.
“I told him five. If he’s not here at 5:15, I’ll find him myself,” you promise, then look to your daughter, “You’re reading well, Blythe. Can I listen too?”
Four years olds, even observant ones like Blythe, can be distracted. If you keep her focused on her reading, she’s not going to notice Cameron’s white face and tightly drawn mouth…or so you tell yourself.
She finishes the book and sets it down, eyeing you both critically, “Do you need a nap?” she asks her mother, “You look sleepy. Do you want to lie down?”
Empathy was never your strong suit, so it always catches you off guard when your daughter does things like that, when she brings Nathan his pacifier before he starts to cry, or snuggles with Cameron right before she starts to shake. Emotions are running high in your apartment, and sometimes you worry your little child is the only thing keeping everyone sane.
Cameron looks at Blythe with surprised eyes, “Is that okay? Do you want to come lay down with me?” she gathers Blythe into her arms, “I loved your reading, sweetheart. I’m so proud. You can read to me again after dinner, okay?”
“I will!” Blythe chirps happily and crawls off her mother’s lap, “I will practice reading while you sleep, mama.” She is so independent sometimes. Too well behaved for someone so young.
Cameron kisses Blythe and you follow her into the kitchen. She makes a cup of tea and instead of going to bed, she sits down at the kitchen table. In the bright light from the kitchen, her skin looks impossibly pale, the dark circles under her eyes not covered by the make up she usually applies.
“I don’t like that he has him, all by himself,” she says softly, “He…for all his claims that Nathan was he, he’s never fed him or changed him. He doesn’t know what to do when he cries.”
You want to tell her that’s because he’s an asshole, but so were you. You hate the parallels you can so easily draw between your behavior and Robert’s. You don’t want to remind yourself of what you did, but you don’t want to forget either. You wonder how Cameron and Blythe forgave you so easily.
“We won’t leave it at this,” you promise her, “This isn’t over. Your divorce isn’t finalized; visitation isn’t firmly established. Don’t worry, Robert’s not going to get him.”
She nods, staring at her tea. You don’t know what else to tell her, it hurts to see her in this much pain, but your hands are tied. You won’t risk losing custody of either child because you were too pigheaded and wouldn’t let Robert take Nathan on his court appointed day. You hate to admit it, but the best way to win at this is to do exactly what you are instructed.
“I know now’s not a great time…” you start, and Cameron looks up.
“What?” she asks tiredly, apparently anticipating a question that’s going to lead to a huge long drawn out conversation.
“I…what about your job? When is your maternity leave up? We’re going have to think about it before it happens, because I don’t have daycare set up fo-“
“I don’t have a job,” Cameron cuts you off, “Robert…he didn’t want me to work while the baby was young. Said he wanted Nathan to have his mother at home, and that I didn’t need to be working anyway.” She sighs, and it’s obvious she wasn’t happy with that arrangement, “I agreed to take off the first year, and then we were going to talk about it again.”
“Oh,” you say, not even bothering to cover your surprise, “You…alright. Is there something you want to do about that, or do you want to continue taking some time off?” you ask carefully. You don’t care if she goes back to work or not, you just want what she wants.
She shrugs, “I don’t like not working, but everything is such a mess. I have some money put away…maybe it’s better that I stay with the kids until this is sorted out. Stay home with Nathan.” Her chin quivers and she sighs heavily, “What time is it?”
“It’s 2:40, Cameron…stop it. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”
Cameron stands up, settling the teacup onto the table with more force than necessary, “I’m already driving myself crazy. My boyfriend leaves my five-month-old daughter and me for absolutely no reason, and I move. I move, and I pick up my entire life and I find Robert, and I get married and I have everything. Everything. I have my baby, and my job, and my husband and then I get pregnant and everything is GOOD for once in my life. Just one time, I get to be happy. And then I write that stupid letter, and you come back in, all…perfect and fatherly and my life falls apart. My husband hates my daughter, my son is born early, and then I have to take my baby away from HIS father because…” she stops and stares at you, horrified.
“If you blame me, does it make you feel better?” you ask quietly, not looking at her, “I did leave, Cameron. I’ve never pretended to be perfect. Never. And do you think that there is one minute of any day that I can let myself forget that I missed the first three years of Blythe’s life? That I was just as big an asshole as Robert is? Because I can’t forget, okay? There is nothing I can do for Blythe to make up for what I did. So blame me if it makes you feel better, just know I already beat myself up every damn day.”
Cameron drops back into her chair, her head resting on her hands, “I’m sorry, Greg. I…you’re right. Blaming you doesn’t making things better. It just makes me mad at the wrong person.”
“You have every right to be mad at me, Cameron,” you tell her honestly, “I wasn’t there for you. I wasn’t there for Blythe,” you reach for her hand, “I wish I could tell you what I was thinking. I wish I had a reason for leaving. I don’t. All I can do now is spend the rest of my life making it up to you and Blythe and Nathan.”
Cameron is quiet for several minutes before she finally speaks, “She loves you. She loves you so much. When she was little, when Robert…was himself…before all of this, we talked about it. Talked about whether we wanted to tell her about her father or not.” She squeezes your hand and gives you a soft smile before she continues, “I didn’t think you’d ever come back. I didn’t think you’d ever see her, but I wanted her to know who you were. So I showed her the few pictures I had, and I told her everything I could about you.”
You’re the one shaking now, and you blink so that Cameron does not see you cry, “Thank you,” you manage, hoping she doesn’t notice the tremble behind your voice.
“I’m glad I did,” she says, “I’m glad she knows you, and I’m glad I ran into you at that conference. Because you deserved a second chance with her, and she deserves to know you.”
There is nothing you can say to that, because it is so absolutely Cameron. So like her to be able to forgive you for something she doesn’t have to. You dropped out of her life for three years and she let you know Blythe, and you can never repay her for that.
She sighs, and brings your hand to her lips and kisses it softly, “Thank you for being there for us,” she whispers, “Thank you for being here for us now. Now is what matters, Greg…we can move forward from here.”
AUTHOR: dragynflies
PAIRING: Cameron/House, Cameron/OC
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: You hate the parallels you can so easily draw between your behavior and Robert’s. You don’t want to remind yourself of what you did, but you don’t want to forget either.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don’t sue.
The comments make me write faster, and I love reading them. Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to post a response, they really do make my day, and writing this makes the horrible dullness of my research papers a little less wretched. :)
You never thought you’d like another lawyer, but Nadia is intelligent, efficient and quick witted. She seems positive about Cameron’s petition for full custody, and she praises your foresight in taking a picture of Blythe’s head. Cameron wants this cut and dry and done with as soon as possible, and you are beginning to think there’s more to her leaving him than just the situation with Blythe. That him pushing her was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and that there’s a whole other separate issue.
But you don’t bring it up. Instead you are the perfect…you don’t know what you are. You help take care of Nathan, you drive Blythe to her Kindergarten class, you pick up dinner three times a week and at night, you and Cameron fall asleep in each other’s arms. To anyone observing, they’d think you were dating. But you don’t try to kiss her, and you don’t push the relationship, because you have no idea what Cameron wants from you.
Robert comes over to pick up Nathan on his afternoon. When he knocks, Cameron takes Blythe and goes into her room to play while you pack up Nathan in his car seat and take your time answering the door.
“Dr. House,” Robert says stiffly, extending his hand. You scoff at him and set Nathan’s carrier down in front of you.
“The court says you can have him for the afternoon. Have my son home at five,” you tell him firmly, and you like the way his eyes widen.
“Your son, Dr. House?” he asks icily, picking up the carrier. Nathan looks from him to you and back to Robert and promptly bursts into tears.
“My son,” you said, “Or he will be, when this is over. Have him back at five. Bottles are in the diaper bag. Don’t screw it up.”
You shut the door in his face because you can’t take watching Nathan cry, and you know there’s nothing you can do to stop Robert’s visitation. You wonder if this is how he felt the first day you met Blythe, but you are pretty sure he was never as doting as he pretended to be.
When Robert and Nathan are gone, you go find Cameron and Blythe in Blythe’s room. Blythe is reading to her mother, carefully sounding out the bigger words and Cameron is doing a fantastic job of pretending to listen.
You clear your throat and Cameron jumps, “He gone? Did he take him? Did he promise to have him back at five?”
She’s horribly nervous about Robert taking Nathan for the day, and she really wasn’t happy when she found out that Robert had been given your address as her primary. She didn’t want him to know where she was.
“I told him five. If he’s not here at 5:15, I’ll find him myself,” you promise, then look to your daughter, “You’re reading well, Blythe. Can I listen too?”
Four years olds, even observant ones like Blythe, can be distracted. If you keep her focused on her reading, she’s not going to notice Cameron’s white face and tightly drawn mouth…or so you tell yourself.
She finishes the book and sets it down, eyeing you both critically, “Do you need a nap?” she asks her mother, “You look sleepy. Do you want to lie down?”
Empathy was never your strong suit, so it always catches you off guard when your daughter does things like that, when she brings Nathan his pacifier before he starts to cry, or snuggles with Cameron right before she starts to shake. Emotions are running high in your apartment, and sometimes you worry your little child is the only thing keeping everyone sane.
Cameron looks at Blythe with surprised eyes, “Is that okay? Do you want to come lay down with me?” she gathers Blythe into her arms, “I loved your reading, sweetheart. I’m so proud. You can read to me again after dinner, okay?”
“I will!” Blythe chirps happily and crawls off her mother’s lap, “I will practice reading while you sleep, mama.” She is so independent sometimes. Too well behaved for someone so young.
Cameron kisses Blythe and you follow her into the kitchen. She makes a cup of tea and instead of going to bed, she sits down at the kitchen table. In the bright light from the kitchen, her skin looks impossibly pale, the dark circles under her eyes not covered by the make up she usually applies.
“I don’t like that he has him, all by himself,” she says softly, “He…for all his claims that Nathan was he, he’s never fed him or changed him. He doesn’t know what to do when he cries.”
You want to tell her that’s because he’s an asshole, but so were you. You hate the parallels you can so easily draw between your behavior and Robert’s. You don’t want to remind yourself of what you did, but you don’t want to forget either. You wonder how Cameron and Blythe forgave you so easily.
“We won’t leave it at this,” you promise her, “This isn’t over. Your divorce isn’t finalized; visitation isn’t firmly established. Don’t worry, Robert’s not going to get him.”
She nods, staring at her tea. You don’t know what else to tell her, it hurts to see her in this much pain, but your hands are tied. You won’t risk losing custody of either child because you were too pigheaded and wouldn’t let Robert take Nathan on his court appointed day. You hate to admit it, but the best way to win at this is to do exactly what you are instructed.
“I know now’s not a great time…” you start, and Cameron looks up.
“What?” she asks tiredly, apparently anticipating a question that’s going to lead to a huge long drawn out conversation.
“I…what about your job? When is your maternity leave up? We’re going have to think about it before it happens, because I don’t have daycare set up fo-“
“I don’t have a job,” Cameron cuts you off, “Robert…he didn’t want me to work while the baby was young. Said he wanted Nathan to have his mother at home, and that I didn’t need to be working anyway.” She sighs, and it’s obvious she wasn’t happy with that arrangement, “I agreed to take off the first year, and then we were going to talk about it again.”
“Oh,” you say, not even bothering to cover your surprise, “You…alright. Is there something you want to do about that, or do you want to continue taking some time off?” you ask carefully. You don’t care if she goes back to work or not, you just want what she wants.
She shrugs, “I don’t like not working, but everything is such a mess. I have some money put away…maybe it’s better that I stay with the kids until this is sorted out. Stay home with Nathan.” Her chin quivers and she sighs heavily, “What time is it?”
“It’s 2:40, Cameron…stop it. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”
Cameron stands up, settling the teacup onto the table with more force than necessary, “I’m already driving myself crazy. My boyfriend leaves my five-month-old daughter and me for absolutely no reason, and I move. I move, and I pick up my entire life and I find Robert, and I get married and I have everything. Everything. I have my baby, and my job, and my husband and then I get pregnant and everything is GOOD for once in my life. Just one time, I get to be happy. And then I write that stupid letter, and you come back in, all…perfect and fatherly and my life falls apart. My husband hates my daughter, my son is born early, and then I have to take my baby away from HIS father because…” she stops and stares at you, horrified.
“If you blame me, does it make you feel better?” you ask quietly, not looking at her, “I did leave, Cameron. I’ve never pretended to be perfect. Never. And do you think that there is one minute of any day that I can let myself forget that I missed the first three years of Blythe’s life? That I was just as big an asshole as Robert is? Because I can’t forget, okay? There is nothing I can do for Blythe to make up for what I did. So blame me if it makes you feel better, just know I already beat myself up every damn day.”
Cameron drops back into her chair, her head resting on her hands, “I’m sorry, Greg. I…you’re right. Blaming you doesn’t making things better. It just makes me mad at the wrong person.”
“You have every right to be mad at me, Cameron,” you tell her honestly, “I wasn’t there for you. I wasn’t there for Blythe,” you reach for her hand, “I wish I could tell you what I was thinking. I wish I had a reason for leaving. I don’t. All I can do now is spend the rest of my life making it up to you and Blythe and Nathan.”
Cameron is quiet for several minutes before she finally speaks, “She loves you. She loves you so much. When she was little, when Robert…was himself…before all of this, we talked about it. Talked about whether we wanted to tell her about her father or not.” She squeezes your hand and gives you a soft smile before she continues, “I didn’t think you’d ever come back. I didn’t think you’d ever see her, but I wanted her to know who you were. So I showed her the few pictures I had, and I told her everything I could about you.”
You’re the one shaking now, and you blink so that Cameron does not see you cry, “Thank you,” you manage, hoping she doesn’t notice the tremble behind your voice.
“I’m glad I did,” she says, “I’m glad she knows you, and I’m glad I ran into you at that conference. Because you deserved a second chance with her, and she deserves to know you.”
There is nothing you can say to that, because it is so absolutely Cameron. So like her to be able to forgive you for something she doesn’t have to. You dropped out of her life for three years and she let you know Blythe, and you can never repay her for that.
She sighs, and brings your hand to her lips and kisses it softly, “Thank you for being there for us,” she whispers, “Thank you for being here for us now. Now is what matters, Greg…we can move forward from here.”