2007 - the year that everything changed.
so. christmas was a success this year.
i made some artwork for my birth mother sue.
i spent last night at her house wrapped in a burning hot sleeping bag on the couch,
ocassionally being stirred by one of the dogs during the night.
it snowed about 6-7 inches between last night and today.
mother gave me an mp3 player that does all kinds of neat tricks.
phillys gave me a fantasy art book that's way cool.
and some ug boots. and some canvases.
we are ham and green beans and cheesy potatoes.
kathy came over, and ben spent the night also.
while eating with my blood-relatives today,
i thought of him, quietly to myself while the others talked for a while and i just sat and thought and ate,
feeling how weird and odd and sort of strange
it felt to be there,
even though i was included as part of everyone else
i felt not,
and while each year these past few years
i missed him each Christmas,
this one
i missed him the most.
he was missed the most this year.
he was my best family,
he will always be the most missed.
i am now back at my apartment cleaning up and
blasting my daft punk CD on the stereo
im going to enter the new year on a rocket ride
and glide into the stratosphere
smoothly
and laugh the whole way.
Here's to you Dad.
Here's to the future - our future.
God bless your soul.
I will be strong.
I need you, but I will let you go.
i hate goodbyes.
parting is such sweet sorrow.
somehow, i always thought that when i was this age, things would be different to how they are now.
life doesn't always go according to plan - it sometimes throws some unexpected curves at you.
all that you can do is do your best with what you have. and strive to do better.
i know i have a long way to go.
i know i am better than before, that i am better than other things.
but i have a long way to go to get to the top.
perhaps, i am already there, in some other paralell reality.
i am still learning. you never really stop learning.
somehow, i thought my hair would be dark brown short and in soft finger-waves around my face.
but it's different now.
everything changed. so fast this year.
i moved 3 times, visited tons of US States, Canada, New York, went on 2 road trips,
made lots of money,
lost lots of money,
didn't have a lot of sex or relationships,
made an ass of myself about 3 times on the subject of sex and relationships,
learned a lot,
lost my Dad,
worked a lot,
and probably lots of other things i am leaving out.
i hope that i find my friends and family once again and recollect. i miss them.
i miss my other half. i don't know where he is.
i need to buy lots of new clothes, for both warmth and fashionista reasons.
and lots of other things. in the future.
peace out, livejizzle.
i made some artwork for my birth mother sue.
i spent last night at her house wrapped in a burning hot sleeping bag on the couch,
ocassionally being stirred by one of the dogs during the night.
it snowed about 6-7 inches between last night and today.
mother gave me an mp3 player that does all kinds of neat tricks.
phillys gave me a fantasy art book that's way cool.
and some ug boots. and some canvases.
we are ham and green beans and cheesy potatoes.
kathy came over, and ben spent the night also.
while eating with my blood-relatives today,
i thought of him, quietly to myself while the others talked for a while and i just sat and thought and ate,
feeling how weird and odd and sort of strange
it felt to be there,
even though i was included as part of everyone else
i felt not,
and while each year these past few years
i missed him each Christmas,
this one
i missed him the most.
he was missed the most this year.
he was my best family,
he will always be the most missed.
i am now back at my apartment cleaning up and
blasting my daft punk CD on the stereo
im going to enter the new year on a rocket ride
and glide into the stratosphere
smoothly
and laugh the whole way.
Here's to you Dad.
Here's to the future - our future.
God bless your soul.
I will be strong.
I need you, but I will let you go.
i hate goodbyes.
parting is such sweet sorrow.
somehow, i always thought that when i was this age, things would be different to how they are now.
life doesn't always go according to plan - it sometimes throws some unexpected curves at you.
all that you can do is do your best with what you have. and strive to do better.
i know i have a long way to go.
i know i am better than before, that i am better than other things.
but i have a long way to go to get to the top.
perhaps, i am already there, in some other paralell reality.
i am still learning. you never really stop learning.
somehow, i thought my hair would be dark brown short and in soft finger-waves around my face.
but it's different now.
everything changed. so fast this year.
i moved 3 times, visited tons of US States, Canada, New York, went on 2 road trips,
made lots of money,
lost lots of money,
didn't have a lot of sex or relationships,
made an ass of myself about 3 times on the subject of sex and relationships,
learned a lot,
lost my Dad,
worked a lot,
and probably lots of other things i am leaving out.
i hope that i find my friends and family once again and recollect. i miss them.
i miss my other half. i don't know where he is.
i need to buy lots of new clothes, for both warmth and fashionista reasons.
and lots of other things. in the future.
peace out, livejizzle.