Been a minute....
Ever notice how anytime someone says it'll be a minute, we all instinctively know it not going to be a minute. We automatically set our minds to "this will be a bit, lets do something else." Children will space out when they hear their parent(s) say "it'll be a minute". At the office, depending on your office, "meet with you for a minute" not only means that it'll be a bit, but you're about to have to do something above and beyond your job description or you screwed up somewhere. Granted I give this warning to you would be up and coming successes: AVOID the words "Other functions as directed." in your job description. I love it because it gives me more to do. However, if you are some poor guy working Walmart or some other crap job, that's the worst thing you could possibly see. Not to say that Walmart is a crap job........nevermind who am I kidding, Walmart is a crap job. Kind of like saying "I'm a manager of a *insert fast fod restraunt*" Unless you're a district something for any crap job, you have a crap job. People can do well with their crap jobs, but 90% don't. Granted the 10% that do well are the people in lower mgmt, the other 90% are the obvious grunts.
Ways to tell you have a crap job:
1. You hesitate for a moment in your mind before answering "where do you work?"
2. You have actually taken time to find a fancy name for what you do, to not have to say your job. (i.e. "I work logistics within the store I work at."; For the chuecos, this translates to Stocker"
3. You're uniform is a vest or requires a hair net. (i.e. Valet parking
attendant, Timmy Chan's, the place that advertises less than 3 health violations)
4. Any place that's been on Marvin Zindler's shit list. (OK, i have to explain there for my out of town readers (uncle, emily, aaron, zach, john, michael, mitvah, aryeh, and anyone else I might be forgetting) Marvin Zindler is this old man that is the American version of Benny Hill mixed with Ebert. He rates restraunts with bad health code violations, and normally what he says goes. You don't want to eat anywhere that's been on his shit list. His catch phrase is "Slime in the Ice Machine", which demographics have changed several times over the years, which now its the NO demographic, so it sounds very....fucking stupid.)
5. This is a cheap shot, don't take it serious: Anywhere that still thinks Bush is doing the right thing.
6. Anywhere that seems to have a lot more mexicans than you thought working with you. (Not hispanic, not mexican-americanized, I'm talking MEXICANS!)
Break down of Mexican to Hispanic:
Mexican - The Day Laborers by Home Depot
Mexican-American - Freddy
Mexican-Americanized - Freddy's brother
Hispanic - Edwin Junior
and lastly, Chingon (Hispanic Flamer) - Jovan
So yeah, if you work with more MEXICANS than you thought, you're in a crap job. Now note, there is a difference between working WITH Mexicans and working OVER mexicans. Foreman of a construction site works OVER mexicans. Mowing the lawn, HAHA that's kinda obvious.
7. Anywhere that requires you to repeat the "daily specials".
8. Anywhere you have to deliver "daily specials". Now my heart goes out to the pizza guy, they're getting screwed royally with gas prices these days. We wouldn't live as comfortably as we do with our nice jobs, if it wasn't for the pizza guy that brings us food in our laziest hours. (Sidenote: House where tmw night, and are we ordering pizza? pizza hut has those Pizza Mia pizzas for $5 when you order three.)
9. Any job that has you touching or near people's feet or shit. Yeah, foot doctors get paid well, but its still a crap job.
And Number 10: Because I can't hit on them all. Any Job You Can Think Of That You Absolutely HATED.
Ways to tell you have a crap job:
1. You hesitate for a moment in your mind before answering "where do you work?"
2. You have actually taken time to find a fancy name for what you do, to not have to say your job. (i.e. "I work logistics within the store I work at."; For the chuecos, this translates to Stocker"
3. You're uniform is a vest or requires a hair net. (i.e. Valet parking
attendant, Timmy Chan's, the place that advertises less than 3 health violations)
4. Any place that's been on Marvin Zindler's shit list. (OK, i have to explain there for my out of town readers (uncle, emily, aaron, zach, john, michael, mitvah, aryeh, and anyone else I might be forgetting) Marvin Zindler is this old man that is the American version of Benny Hill mixed with Ebert. He rates restraunts with bad health code violations, and normally what he says goes. You don't want to eat anywhere that's been on his shit list. His catch phrase is "Slime in the Ice Machine", which demographics have changed several times over the years, which now its the NO demographic, so it sounds very....fucking stupid.)
5. This is a cheap shot, don't take it serious: Anywhere that still thinks Bush is doing the right thing.
6. Anywhere that seems to have a lot more mexicans than you thought working with you. (Not hispanic, not mexican-americanized, I'm talking MEXICANS!)
Break down of Mexican to Hispanic:
Mexican - The Day Laborers by Home Depot
Mexican-American - Freddy
Mexican-Americanized - Freddy's brother
Hispanic - Edwin Junior
and lastly, Chingon (Hispanic Flamer) - Jovan
So yeah, if you work with more MEXICANS than you thought, you're in a crap job. Now note, there is a difference between working WITH Mexicans and working OVER mexicans. Foreman of a construction site works OVER mexicans. Mowing the lawn, HAHA that's kinda obvious.
7. Anywhere that requires you to repeat the "daily specials".
8. Anywhere you have to deliver "daily specials". Now my heart goes out to the pizza guy, they're getting screwed royally with gas prices these days. We wouldn't live as comfortably as we do with our nice jobs, if it wasn't for the pizza guy that brings us food in our laziest hours. (Sidenote: House where tmw night, and are we ordering pizza? pizza hut has those Pizza Mia pizzas for $5 when you order three.)
9. Any job that has you touching or near people's feet or shit. Yeah, foot doctors get paid well, but its still a crap job.
And Number 10: Because I can't hit on them all. Any Job You Can Think Of That You Absolutely HATED.