(no subject)
It's been a while. I haven't updated. I've been gone for a month to Croatia to help out my Grandmother. She went through double bypass at the age of 80. To make matters worse for her, she also developed diabetes. The hardest part of helping her is knowing she does not want our help. She's been doing things her way so long, she doesn't know how to have anyone help her.
In the meantime of helping her, and there were 10 of us in her house (I sleeping in the kitchen), I did have some time to go and spent time in the water. The salt water and the sea air did wonders for me, and my foot. If I had been able to stay one more month I think my foot would have been entirely healed. My strength improved greatly. All that swimming did me good. I am off the cane. I can walk now without it. We have a steep hill leading up into the old center of the fishing village. I walked up and down it several times to improve my endurance. What I wanted to do on the island I still couldn't do. I wanted to go hiking all over the rough boulders and sharp shore-line, but my foot would not let me. I've used my Aunt's bike to keep pedaling like the Orthopedic suggested to do. So, it was a good trip out there anyway.
A long time ago. Fourteen years. I was in an argument with a friend, my distant cousin. Being on the island brought up those memories. Sometimes it takes time and distance to let you know the truth of that day. That truth saw me as the one at fault. I seek forgiveness, but I can't find her. She's not there. She remarried and moved. Her dad was on the island 6 years ago the last time I was there. I couldn't summon the courage to ask him how and where she is. And, I am left with all this guilt; and no place for it. My guilt intensified especially since I learned her mother died just before I went to Croatia. So, there were ups and downs to this summer visit.
Well, I'm home now, and back at physical therapy. Two people there missed us: my mom and me. They both engulfed us with hugs and kisses. Sometimes I wonder what kind of impression I leave on others to make them feel, and behave the way they do. {shrugs shoulders]
In the meantime of helping her, and there were 10 of us in her house (I sleeping in the kitchen), I did have some time to go and spent time in the water. The salt water and the sea air did wonders for me, and my foot. If I had been able to stay one more month I think my foot would have been entirely healed. My strength improved greatly. All that swimming did me good. I am off the cane. I can walk now without it. We have a steep hill leading up into the old center of the fishing village. I walked up and down it several times to improve my endurance. What I wanted to do on the island I still couldn't do. I wanted to go hiking all over the rough boulders and sharp shore-line, but my foot would not let me. I've used my Aunt's bike to keep pedaling like the Orthopedic suggested to do. So, it was a good trip out there anyway.
A long time ago. Fourteen years. I was in an argument with a friend, my distant cousin. Being on the island brought up those memories. Sometimes it takes time and distance to let you know the truth of that day. That truth saw me as the one at fault. I seek forgiveness, but I can't find her. She's not there. She remarried and moved. Her dad was on the island 6 years ago the last time I was there. I couldn't summon the courage to ask him how and where she is. And, I am left with all this guilt; and no place for it. My guilt intensified especially since I learned her mother died just before I went to Croatia. So, there were ups and downs to this summer visit.
Well, I'm home now, and back at physical therapy. Two people there missed us: my mom and me. They both engulfed us with hugs and kisses. Sometimes I wonder what kind of impression I leave on others to make them feel, and behave the way they do. {shrugs shoulders]