I don't want to minimize your frustration or say it isn't justified, because you are of course justified in feeling frustrated and upset at the rules being broken. Still - I'm socially/emotionally still close enough to adolescence, and on-the-spectrum strict-equal-justice-minded enough, to see myself being far more upset than LJ was that her breaking of the rules made your forgetting to knock OK this time.
This is me trying to say that, even when she disappoints or angers you, your kid's amazing.
She is. And given knocking on her door is a new thing, and was forgotten completely innocently due to obvious sleepy-ness, she didn't see my error as anything but okay at any point :)
Michaela has just suggested to me that perhaps you need to put a passcode on LJ's iPad that she doesn't know, so that she has to come to you to use it, therefore you can monitor her usage until she gets out of the habit of just reaching for it. That makes sense to me. Gotta love adolescence...
That reminds me, I need to dye my rapidly greying hair again...
That idea of Michaela's is bloody brilliant, by the way. Please thank her for me. I've decided that's what'll be enacted as the next punishment if/when such is required... even if only for a certain period... because that'll well and truly drive the point home.
You know my Dad used to buy me roses and I never liked it. I didn't find them very pretty and they smelled of meat, it seemed like another thing I was being shoved towards because it was what I was 'supposed' to like. I only really came to appreciate roses when I got to the UK, first because they don't smell like meat here and then because I discovered that the pretty, simple, five petalled things in the hedges were a type of rose. Not only that but an edible one which is damned tasty. I wait for them to bloom every year now but I uh.....suspect my habit of eating them off the bush isn't what my Dad was really driving for.
*fruitlessly searches Google Images for that picture of Spider eating the flower made by the foglet in the issue where Channon's boyfriend goes foglet in order to post as a reply*
I'm coming at it from a few years previous. C can stretch, obscure and play certain cards at certain times - all to advantage. Again, like you, it's not a complaint. I'm honestly often astounded at the nuances and speed with which he can assemble information and react to it and I'm often at maximum CPU just keeping up. It's also a worry when I unveil these processes as not quite as opaque as he imagined, because I don't think for a second that he'll learn that being secretive isn't necessarily the way to get things done. On the contrary, I try not to 'catch' him out as often as I can because his brain will just concoct more elaborate and intelligent ways of getting around all this boring parent stuff. And then I'll truly be in the dark ...
On the contrary, I try not to 'catch' him out as often as I can because his brain will just concoct more elaborate and intelligent ways of getting around all this boring parent stuff. And then I'll truly be in the dark ...
That's precisely how I've been tackling it - not sweating the small stuff, allowing the harmless deceits to go through to the keeper and only pinning her down on the big lies, so as to teach the lesson/control the situation without encouraging further development of her tricky tendencies. A fine balance, one that's difficult to strike.
Because, let's face it: you and I have each fathered kids who'll well and truly exceed our capabilities before too long.
Love the Rose story, just beautiful! The thorn, I guess proves she's a normal, nearly 11 year old who will sometimes try to stretch the boundary. My guess would be that there is and won't be any need for secret codes, which may smack of not trusting her after one mistake, as she has probably punished herself enough over disappointing you.
Me, too. Lifted my spirits so much. She's utterly, completely gorgeous and I love seeing her so happy. Remind me, on Thursday, to show you the photo I took of her expression.
My guess would be that there is and won't be any need for secret codes, which may smack of not trusting her after one mistake, as she has probably punished herself enough over disappointing you.
Don't worry, Nana, there are no further consequences forthcoming :) I'd only be following the suggested course if the rules were broken again, with such a code being the midway point between temporary confiscation of the device. Rest easy ;)
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This is me trying to say that, even when she disappoints or angers you, your kid's amazing.
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That makes sense to me.
Gotta love adolescence...
That reminds me, I need to dye my rapidly greying hair again...
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That idea of Michaela's is bloody brilliant, by the way. Please thank her for me. I've decided that's what'll be enacted as the next punishment if/when such is required... even if only for a certain period... because that'll well and truly drive the point home.
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*fails*
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*flees*
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That's precisely how I've been tackling it - not sweating the small stuff, allowing the harmless deceits to go through to the keeper and only pinning her down on the big lies, so as to teach the lesson/control the situation without encouraging further development of her tricky tendencies. A fine balance, one that's difficult to strike.
Because, let's face it: you and I have each fathered kids who'll well and truly exceed our capabilities before too long.
Reply
The thorn, I guess proves she's a normal, nearly 11 year old who will sometimes try to stretch the boundary. My guess would be that there is and won't be any need for secret codes, which may smack of not trusting her after one mistake, as she has probably punished herself enough over disappointing you.
Reply
Me, too. Lifted my spirits so much. She's utterly, completely gorgeous and I love seeing her so happy. Remind me, on Thursday, to show you the photo I took of her expression.
My guess would be that there is and won't be any need for secret codes, which may smack of not trusting her after one mistake, as she has probably punished herself enough over disappointing you.
Don't worry, Nana, there are no further consequences forthcoming :) I'd only be following the suggested course if the rules were broken again, with such a code being the midway point between temporary confiscation of the device. Rest easy ;)
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