LJ presents: The Webs We Weave, part one
You're going to be on a plane for 29 hours over the space of two weeks, you think to yourself: "That'll be a great opportunity to sit down and write up all of LJ's stories! By the time we get back to Australia, I'll be completely caught up!" But then there's in-flight movies. And documentaries. And an armrest that just won't shift, making it difficult to type on an iPad. Which is difficult to type on anyway, because your typing speed is faster than the on-screen keyboard can register. And then there's turbulence - lots and lots of turbulence.
Which is my way of saying I wrote squat while we were overseas and I'm catching up now.
Fortunately I'm well and truly in the mood to share my daughter's awesome world with you all once again. She's taken an interesting tack for these next few installments: LJ has decided to take a short break from Ironclad, Sunburst, Shield Maiden and Quickdraw in order to explore the new, post-Ultron dynamic that's emerged. And, while doing so, try out a few new character pairings, breathe fresh life into some old villains and continue getting to know our newest elected official...
----------
LJ presents:
THE WEBS WE WEAVE
PART ONE
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
Kirby Granger, the newly-minted mayor of Super Hero City, was preparing for an official engagement when a flash of magical energy dazzled the grounds outside Town Hall. In its wake stood Doctor Strange, sorcerer supreme and co-leader of the New Avengers! The mighty magician god had come to invite Granger to tour Hero Headquarters and see the changes he and his colleagues had made. "It is our solemn promise," Strange explained, "that the New Avengers will never keep secrets from the good citizens of this fair city. The best way to demonstrate this is to open our doors to you, Mr Mayor."
Before Granger could respond, a second heroic figure appeared - this one in a puff of pink smoke! The Scarlet Witch apologised for the interruption before offering the Mayor a different invitation. "Super Hero City and the area once known as Villainville have been at odds for decades," she said. "But Villainville is gone now... 'under new management', if you'll forgive the expression. Magneto would like to open a dialogue between the towns and formally invite you to visit to discuss the future."
Strange urged caution, still convinced Magneto's intent was villainous regardless of his recent actions. Scarlet Witch cried foul at her mentor's stance, insisting Magneto had always been honest about his goals "unlike some Avengers I could name". Police Commissioner Jim Gordon added his voice to the din, reminding Granger of his original appointment to officially inspect Arkham Asylum. Ever the peacemaker, Granger called for calm and said he'd honour all invitations, once after the other. He'd start with the New Avengers, then visit Magneto and finish his day at Arkham.
Taking the public servant at his word, Strange uttered an eldritch incantation and transported himself and Granger to Hero Headquarters. It was Granger's first experience with magic and, to Strange's surprise, he delighted at the head-rushing sensation. The duo met Thor at the front doors; the thunder god beckoned them inside and proudly walked Granger through the mansion's many new features...
The monitor room had been relocated, taking over what had once been the common room. "We aim to be vigilant but never secretive," Thor explained. "Though Hawkeye's watchful gaze surveils the city at all times, the monitor room is always open to all members of the New Avengers. That way, every one of us has access to all information and no one is excluded from decision-making."
The Quinjet hangar and stables remained as they had always been, as did the Sanctum Sanctorum atop the mansion's highest tower. The mystical area was both a room of the mansion and a room within Strange's residence back in New York, all at once. Granger was again delighted by the incongruity; unlike the previous Mayor, he appeared to understand the principles involved and revel in the wonder on display. Offered the opportunity to see the rooms occupied by the young heroes, Granger declined. "Secrets are one thing," he said, "but four teenage girls are well and truly entitled to some privacy."
Granger was more concerned, however, to learn Iron Man, Superman, Captain America and Flash were still on the premises. The four pariahs resided in Tony Stark's personal laboratory and the bedrooms adjoining it. The Black Widow had claimed a spot for training and preparation nearby, her distrust of her former allies all but palpable.
"I agree, 'tis not the best of situations," Thor said grimly, "yet we cannot deny a man his home. This building was Stark's long before it was the Avengers', and we felt it wrong to ask he vacate his own residence. Rest assured Iron Man and his... colleagues... play no part in the business of the New Avengers and are not counted amongst our ranks." Granger was satisfied by this: he felt it, and Stark having bequeathed the Arc Reactor to the city, showed insight, maturity and remorse.
Things were more pleasant downstairs, where Spider-Man was teaching the Silver Surfer how to play video games. New (non-Stark Industries) entertainment technology was everywhere: a symbol of the New Avengers' commitment to change. Strange offered the Surfer's presence as another symbol of same. "Norrin Rad gives this team a level of power absent from previous line-ups," he said. "The New Avengers are better equipped, than any team before them, to safeguard the city and the world."
"But only from superhuman threats," Granger cautioned. "I intend to follow through on my election promise of increasing the funding for, and abilities of, the Super Hero City Police Department. It's the right of the common person to police herself, and her responsibility to do so ethically. Only when a problem arises that's too great for the common person should the New Avengers step in."
The mansion's final renovation had increased the size and scope of its kitchen/dining area. Even so, the Hulk's massive frame loomed over the new facilities - as did the enormous helpings of food on the table before him. "He is, well, comfort eating," Thor told Granger quietly. "Our green friend hath not adjusted to the many changes as well as we'd hoped. It has been many days since last we saw him take the form of Bruce Banner." He sighed. "I'll admit this is of concern to us as only recently man and beast had reached new accord. Be assured we shall watch him closely."
Spider-Man took Thor aside for a moment. "Far me it from me to question one of the bosses," he began, "but is it really wise to be spilling the details of Hulk's personal life to the Mayor? I know you and Stephen are on your 'no more secrets' kick, big guy, but surely some stuff has to stay in-house, no?"
"No," Thor shook his head. "Down that path lies ruin, as we ourselves hath experienced of late. Granger is deserving of our respect and our trust, Spider-Man. How could he not be? He was chosen to lead by the very people we are sworn to protect!"
Beneath the webbed mask, Ben Reilly - the Peter Parker clone who'd spent years travelling the world, learning about humanity first-hand - frowned. "Whatever you say, thunder god," he muttered. "Because, you know, that's a great opinion for someone who's never voted to hold."
The tour concluded where it began - at the front doors - and, after thanks and goodbyes, how it began - with a mystical teleportation across time and space. Strange and Granger reappeared at the gates of Villainville/LexCorp/whatever it had become right in front of a waiting Scarlet Witch. Student and teacher spoke briefly, each apologising to the other for their earlier disagreement. Granger was heartened to see it. "Talk about a good omen for relations between Super Hero City and Villainville," he mused.
No sooner had Strange teleported away than the gates of the imposing edifice burst open. A golf ball whizzed over Granger and Scarlet Witch's heads, followed a split-second later by a motorbike-riding, kilt-and-beret-wearing, hockey stick-wielding Deadpool! "Gangway for the House of M's officially-recognised national sport," the merc with a mouth cried. "When you're playing high-octane motorcross-country polo croquet, there's no time to waste! Four!"
Deadpool roared off; Granger gawped in his wake. "House of M?" he asked.
"Another Deadpool special," Scarlet Witch shrugged. "Magneto has yet to settle on a name for this place. But you know, that's probably the best thing that could've happened at the start of the tour. Deadpool and his crazy sport, I mean. Magneto's dream is to create a town that welcomes everyone who's genuine about doing something worthwhile with their lives. Human or mutant, normal or powered, hero or reformed 'villain'." She made air quotes around the last word. "Regardless of how... odd... some of those people might be."
She wasn't kidding. Granger found himself introduced to Scarlet Witch's synthezoid boyfriend, the Vision. Clearly besotted with one another, the duo were still figuring out the intricacies of cross-species dating. The three of them shared morning tea with Poison Ivy in her roof garden - once assured the floronic femme fatale had stopped poisoning people - and Granger heartily enjoyed the fresh produce she'd grown. Unfortunately the tranquil scene was shattered by an ear-splitting wail coming from the next tower.
"Wade!" a woman's voice shrieked. "Where are ya, Pooly-kins? Mama Harley needs her baby to paint her toenails!"
Again, Granger gawped. "Harley Quinn?" he asked.
"Another resident," Ivy confirmed, "and my best friend."
"Your best friend?" Granger puzzled.
"She's... an acquired taste," Ivy smiled wryly.
"And she's dating Deadpool?" Granger asked.
"They're an acquired couple," Vision offered dryly, not missing a beat.
An aura of power washed over the room garden; a static electricity that made the hairs on the back of Granger's neck stand up. A moment later he found himself floating in mid-air. He looked up to see Magneto, resplendent within a bubble of crackling blue energy, and realised he was being magnetically lifted toward the one-time mutant supremacist. "I guess it's time for my meeting," he gulped.
Magneto set them down atop the erstwhile Doomwalker - which was not the most auspicious of beginnings. Granger immediately wanted to know why a man who professed to be seeking peace and rehabilitation would retain possessing of an unquestionable weapon of mass destruction. The question appeared to catch Magneto by surprise for a moment; then his expression changed to one of amusement.
"You'll have to forgive me, Mr Granger," he said drolly. "For one such as I, with the powers I have, man-made devices crafted of weak, malleable metal long ago ceased to hold any threat for me. I should have remembered others would feel differently. It will be disposed of."
From there on, the conversation progressed more smoothly. Magneto was genuine in his goals: he saw the once-and-former Villainville as his chance to make amends for the past and contribute to the future. He now wanted, like his old friend Charles Xavier, to promote peaceful co-existence between the species. And more: he wanted to offer save haven to "the misunderstood and the mistaken, man and mutant alike" who truly wanted to better themselves and the world around them.
"Misunderstood, mistaken, man and mutant," Granger echoed. "The House of M."
Magneto brightened. "I'd not thought of that," he nodded. "I'll admit to liking the sound of it, very much. The House of M: mutants, men and misfits."
The leaders spoke for more than an hour, drafting agreements between Super Hero City and the House of M that would open up trade, education and infrastructure possibilities. Granger felt a relationship between the towns would show the sincerity of his tolerance policies; Magneto relished the opportunity to right past wrongs and make amends to a citizenry he had so often menaced. They got along so well that they almost missed a silver glint in the sky above them: Thor had sent Spider-Man and the Silver Surfer to accompany Granger to Arkham.
Granger and Magneto shook hands, knowing they'd speak again soon.
A few minutes later - having taken yet another personally-unprecedented form of transportation - Granger and his escorts met Commissioner Gordon in Arkham's front lobby. Unlike his prior, delighted experiences, Granger surveyed the infamous facility with a grim, somber demeanor. Gordon was quietly impressed by his new boss' poise. Granger didn't rise to the Joker's bait and ignored the clown's mind games. He did not buckle under Doctor Doom's steely gaze, nor did he appear unnerved by the Red Skull's ever-silent, lurking presence in the back of a dim cell. And when Lex Luthor asked to speak with him "leader to leader", Granger dismissed the corrupt tycoon with a sneer. "My administration doesn't work with impeached presidents," he said coolly as he moved on.
While Granger was composed, Spider-Man was having a harder time of it. Venom had been hissing, snarling and laughing to himself from the moment the heroes had entered the facility, and Spidey wanted to know why. "Do you think we'd fail to recognise our greatest creation?" the human/symbiote hybrid chuckled nastily. "We're not sure why you're dressing up in Petey's hand-me-downs, Benjamin. Maybe we should ask a few questions..." Venom looked meaningfully toward Granger and Gordon. "Really, really loud questions."
Spidey fired a web-line at a nearby control console and flicked a switch. Instantly Venom fell silent - even though the creature's mouths were still moving. "Sound-proofing," Spidey told the Silver Surfer. "Let's see the big dummy spill all my secrets now."
The heroes moved on, completely unaware they'd played right into Venom's enormous, clawed hands. The symbiote had but two weaknesses - intense heat and high-frequency sonics - and activating the sound-proofing had cancelled out the restraint speakers dotted throughout the villain's cell. With a horrendous crash of shattering glass, Venom burst out of captivity and bounded into Arkham's hallway. Gordon and the facility's guards drew bead and fired their weapons; the inky black symbiote snatched the bullets out of mid-air and threw them back. The men would have been perforated if not for Spidey and the Surfer, who used webbing and Power Cosmic force fields to shield their allies.
"You two are no fun at all," Venom tutted. "We think we'll go tell our tale elsewhere... find a more receptive audience!"
With a final hiss and disgusting slurp of his long tongue, Venom bounded down the hallway on all fours and smashed through a wall. Spidey leaped onto Surfer's board and clung tightly to his alien team mate as they gave chase. But when he saw Surfer reach for his Avengers ID card - the one with the built-in communicator - he grabbed his friend's silver wrist.
"Let's just keep this one between ourselves, hey?" he said nervously.
"That strikes me as an incredibly bad idea," Surfer countered. "Venom has already shown himself to be more than the police can handle which makes this, as per Mr Granger's own rules, a matter for the New Avengers."
"Sure," Spidey said, "the same New Avengers co-led by Thor and Dr Strange, both of whom just told Granger we don't keep secrets - and I messed up while trying to stop Venom giving away my secrets to Granger! If Thor and Strange hear about this, the only decision they'll have to make is whether they banish me to an alternate dimension before or after they fry me with lightning! No no no, my chrome-plated buddy, this one stays strictly between us. We zip after Venom at light-speed, wrap him up nice and tidy and shoot him back to Arkham, no one the wiser." He gave two thumbs up. "We got this!"
Super Hero City came into view... a metropolis teeming with hundreds of thousands of people, with countless places to hide for a human/symbiote hybrid capable of blending into its surroundings. "Given the symbiote is strangely invisible to both my cosmic awareness and your spider-sense," Surfer said, "how exactly do you feel 'we got this'?"
Spidey moaned.
The heroic duo scoured the city at high speed and found nothing - managing only to knock hats from the heads of citizens and annoy dozens of others as they passed. "It's not just my secrets at stake, but Peter and MJ's as well," Spidey continued, his anguish increasing by the second. "Not to mention May, of course. Oh my gosh, this is a mess... just wait until Jolly Jonah hears about this..."
"Wait, that's it!" Surfer exclaimed. "Venom said he was going to find a receptive audience! And no one in the city would be more receptive to an anti Spider-Man story than J. Jonah Jameson!"
Spidey and the Surfer charged through the front door of the Hero Times, web shooters and cosmic blasts at the ready... but all was quiet. Lois Lane looked up from her desk, one eyebrow arched. "You guys looking for something?" she asked.
"Venom," Spidey breathed. "He broke out of Arkham in search of a listening ear, if you get what I mean."
Lois, one of the few civilians in the world privy to the Peter/Ben story, understood immediately and led the heroes upstairs to Jameson's office. Once more they charged inside - but the irascible editor and publisher was alone, unharmed and furiously bashing one of his famously vitriolic opinion pieces on his computer keyboard.
"What are you doing here, you web-slinging weasel?" he thundered. "And why are you wearing that hideous costume? As if your last one wasn't bad enough! Didn't you read today's Times? My fashion editor says your new pajamas are an affront to colour and angles so hideous that it could turn the sighted blind!"
"And you've got some nerve bringing that bald-headed hood ornament along with you! He may not be a long-haired hippie like the rest of his surfing ilk, but I'd lay odds that just like them he doesn't have a job, either! That's what's wrong with the youth of today - both here and in space! No one has any perseverance! No patience! No one wants to make an honest buck when they can free-load!"
"Umm, Jonah," Lois said, pointing at her boss' rapidly-morphing waistcoat.
"Never interrupt me in the middle of a rant, Lane," Jonah admonished, "especially when the targets of my ire are standing right in front of me! I might never have another opportunity to tell these two super-zeroes what I really think of them!"
Jonah was more right then he realised because, as he raved at Spidey and Surfer, his clothing continued its unsettling metamorphosis. The heroes and Lois watched, horrified, as slacks and shoes became glistening sinew and talons; as shirt sleeves gave way to sharp claws and a neck tie reshaped into an all-too-familiar chest emblem. Jonah didn't even register the spread of thick, viscous black ooze up his neck and into his mouth, still spewing bile as the substance covered his face and twisted his features into a nightmare of white eyes, red gums and needle-like teeth.
Before the heroes stood an all-new hideous hybrid: a malevolent, symbiotic warrior topped with a crew-cut, crewing a thick cigar between its lethal-looking fangs. It blew a ring of noxious smoke at them; the thick grey cloud rapidly filled the room and caused them to cough, gag and choke.
"It's long past time the riff-raff in this city - it's so-called heroes - were cleaned up! Run out of town! Tarred and feathered and treated with the scorn they deserve!" the thing that had once been Jonah barked. "And if the voters won't do it, and our duly-elected Mayor won't do it, then by golly J. Venom Jameson will!"
-----TO BE CONTINUED!-----
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
Which is my way of saying I wrote squat while we were overseas and I'm catching up now.
Fortunately I'm well and truly in the mood to share my daughter's awesome world with you all once again. She's taken an interesting tack for these next few installments: LJ has decided to take a short break from Ironclad, Sunburst, Shield Maiden and Quickdraw in order to explore the new, post-Ultron dynamic that's emerged. And, while doing so, try out a few new character pairings, breathe fresh life into some old villains and continue getting to know our newest elected official...
----------
LJ presents:
THE WEBS WE WEAVE
PART ONE
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
Kirby Granger, the newly-minted mayor of Super Hero City, was preparing for an official engagement when a flash of magical energy dazzled the grounds outside Town Hall. In its wake stood Doctor Strange, sorcerer supreme and co-leader of the New Avengers! The mighty magician god had come to invite Granger to tour Hero Headquarters and see the changes he and his colleagues had made. "It is our solemn promise," Strange explained, "that the New Avengers will never keep secrets from the good citizens of this fair city. The best way to demonstrate this is to open our doors to you, Mr Mayor."
Before Granger could respond, a second heroic figure appeared - this one in a puff of pink smoke! The Scarlet Witch apologised for the interruption before offering the Mayor a different invitation. "Super Hero City and the area once known as Villainville have been at odds for decades," she said. "But Villainville is gone now... 'under new management', if you'll forgive the expression. Magneto would like to open a dialogue between the towns and formally invite you to visit to discuss the future."
Strange urged caution, still convinced Magneto's intent was villainous regardless of his recent actions. Scarlet Witch cried foul at her mentor's stance, insisting Magneto had always been honest about his goals "unlike some Avengers I could name". Police Commissioner Jim Gordon added his voice to the din, reminding Granger of his original appointment to officially inspect Arkham Asylum. Ever the peacemaker, Granger called for calm and said he'd honour all invitations, once after the other. He'd start with the New Avengers, then visit Magneto and finish his day at Arkham.
Taking the public servant at his word, Strange uttered an eldritch incantation and transported himself and Granger to Hero Headquarters. It was Granger's first experience with magic and, to Strange's surprise, he delighted at the head-rushing sensation. The duo met Thor at the front doors; the thunder god beckoned them inside and proudly walked Granger through the mansion's many new features...
The monitor room had been relocated, taking over what had once been the common room. "We aim to be vigilant but never secretive," Thor explained. "Though Hawkeye's watchful gaze surveils the city at all times, the monitor room is always open to all members of the New Avengers. That way, every one of us has access to all information and no one is excluded from decision-making."
The Quinjet hangar and stables remained as they had always been, as did the Sanctum Sanctorum atop the mansion's highest tower. The mystical area was both a room of the mansion and a room within Strange's residence back in New York, all at once. Granger was again delighted by the incongruity; unlike the previous Mayor, he appeared to understand the principles involved and revel in the wonder on display. Offered the opportunity to see the rooms occupied by the young heroes, Granger declined. "Secrets are one thing," he said, "but four teenage girls are well and truly entitled to some privacy."
Granger was more concerned, however, to learn Iron Man, Superman, Captain America and Flash were still on the premises. The four pariahs resided in Tony Stark's personal laboratory and the bedrooms adjoining it. The Black Widow had claimed a spot for training and preparation nearby, her distrust of her former allies all but palpable.
"I agree, 'tis not the best of situations," Thor said grimly, "yet we cannot deny a man his home. This building was Stark's long before it was the Avengers', and we felt it wrong to ask he vacate his own residence. Rest assured Iron Man and his... colleagues... play no part in the business of the New Avengers and are not counted amongst our ranks." Granger was satisfied by this: he felt it, and Stark having bequeathed the Arc Reactor to the city, showed insight, maturity and remorse.
Things were more pleasant downstairs, where Spider-Man was teaching the Silver Surfer how to play video games. New (non-Stark Industries) entertainment technology was everywhere: a symbol of the New Avengers' commitment to change. Strange offered the Surfer's presence as another symbol of same. "Norrin Rad gives this team a level of power absent from previous line-ups," he said. "The New Avengers are better equipped, than any team before them, to safeguard the city and the world."
"But only from superhuman threats," Granger cautioned. "I intend to follow through on my election promise of increasing the funding for, and abilities of, the Super Hero City Police Department. It's the right of the common person to police herself, and her responsibility to do so ethically. Only when a problem arises that's too great for the common person should the New Avengers step in."
The mansion's final renovation had increased the size and scope of its kitchen/dining area. Even so, the Hulk's massive frame loomed over the new facilities - as did the enormous helpings of food on the table before him. "He is, well, comfort eating," Thor told Granger quietly. "Our green friend hath not adjusted to the many changes as well as we'd hoped. It has been many days since last we saw him take the form of Bruce Banner." He sighed. "I'll admit this is of concern to us as only recently man and beast had reached new accord. Be assured we shall watch him closely."
Spider-Man took Thor aside for a moment. "Far me it from me to question one of the bosses," he began, "but is it really wise to be spilling the details of Hulk's personal life to the Mayor? I know you and Stephen are on your 'no more secrets' kick, big guy, but surely some stuff has to stay in-house, no?"
"No," Thor shook his head. "Down that path lies ruin, as we ourselves hath experienced of late. Granger is deserving of our respect and our trust, Spider-Man. How could he not be? He was chosen to lead by the very people we are sworn to protect!"
Beneath the webbed mask, Ben Reilly - the Peter Parker clone who'd spent years travelling the world, learning about humanity first-hand - frowned. "Whatever you say, thunder god," he muttered. "Because, you know, that's a great opinion for someone who's never voted to hold."
The tour concluded where it began - at the front doors - and, after thanks and goodbyes, how it began - with a mystical teleportation across time and space. Strange and Granger reappeared at the gates of Villainville/LexCorp/whatever it had become right in front of a waiting Scarlet Witch. Student and teacher spoke briefly, each apologising to the other for their earlier disagreement. Granger was heartened to see it. "Talk about a good omen for relations between Super Hero City and Villainville," he mused.
No sooner had Strange teleported away than the gates of the imposing edifice burst open. A golf ball whizzed over Granger and Scarlet Witch's heads, followed a split-second later by a motorbike-riding, kilt-and-beret-wearing, hockey stick-wielding Deadpool! "Gangway for the House of M's officially-recognised national sport," the merc with a mouth cried. "When you're playing high-octane motorcross-country polo croquet, there's no time to waste! Four!"
Deadpool roared off; Granger gawped in his wake. "House of M?" he asked.
"Another Deadpool special," Scarlet Witch shrugged. "Magneto has yet to settle on a name for this place. But you know, that's probably the best thing that could've happened at the start of the tour. Deadpool and his crazy sport, I mean. Magneto's dream is to create a town that welcomes everyone who's genuine about doing something worthwhile with their lives. Human or mutant, normal or powered, hero or reformed 'villain'." She made air quotes around the last word. "Regardless of how... odd... some of those people might be."
She wasn't kidding. Granger found himself introduced to Scarlet Witch's synthezoid boyfriend, the Vision. Clearly besotted with one another, the duo were still figuring out the intricacies of cross-species dating. The three of them shared morning tea with Poison Ivy in her roof garden - once assured the floronic femme fatale had stopped poisoning people - and Granger heartily enjoyed the fresh produce she'd grown. Unfortunately the tranquil scene was shattered by an ear-splitting wail coming from the next tower.
"Wade!" a woman's voice shrieked. "Where are ya, Pooly-kins? Mama Harley needs her baby to paint her toenails!"
Again, Granger gawped. "Harley Quinn?" he asked.
"Another resident," Ivy confirmed, "and my best friend."
"Your best friend?" Granger puzzled.
"She's... an acquired taste," Ivy smiled wryly.
"And she's dating Deadpool?" Granger asked.
"They're an acquired couple," Vision offered dryly, not missing a beat.
An aura of power washed over the room garden; a static electricity that made the hairs on the back of Granger's neck stand up. A moment later he found himself floating in mid-air. He looked up to see Magneto, resplendent within a bubble of crackling blue energy, and realised he was being magnetically lifted toward the one-time mutant supremacist. "I guess it's time for my meeting," he gulped.
Magneto set them down atop the erstwhile Doomwalker - which was not the most auspicious of beginnings. Granger immediately wanted to know why a man who professed to be seeking peace and rehabilitation would retain possessing of an unquestionable weapon of mass destruction. The question appeared to catch Magneto by surprise for a moment; then his expression changed to one of amusement.
"You'll have to forgive me, Mr Granger," he said drolly. "For one such as I, with the powers I have, man-made devices crafted of weak, malleable metal long ago ceased to hold any threat for me. I should have remembered others would feel differently. It will be disposed of."
From there on, the conversation progressed more smoothly. Magneto was genuine in his goals: he saw the once-and-former Villainville as his chance to make amends for the past and contribute to the future. He now wanted, like his old friend Charles Xavier, to promote peaceful co-existence between the species. And more: he wanted to offer save haven to "the misunderstood and the mistaken, man and mutant alike" who truly wanted to better themselves and the world around them.
"Misunderstood, mistaken, man and mutant," Granger echoed. "The House of M."
Magneto brightened. "I'd not thought of that," he nodded. "I'll admit to liking the sound of it, very much. The House of M: mutants, men and misfits."
The leaders spoke for more than an hour, drafting agreements between Super Hero City and the House of M that would open up trade, education and infrastructure possibilities. Granger felt a relationship between the towns would show the sincerity of his tolerance policies; Magneto relished the opportunity to right past wrongs and make amends to a citizenry he had so often menaced. They got along so well that they almost missed a silver glint in the sky above them: Thor had sent Spider-Man and the Silver Surfer to accompany Granger to Arkham.
Granger and Magneto shook hands, knowing they'd speak again soon.
A few minutes later - having taken yet another personally-unprecedented form of transportation - Granger and his escorts met Commissioner Gordon in Arkham's front lobby. Unlike his prior, delighted experiences, Granger surveyed the infamous facility with a grim, somber demeanor. Gordon was quietly impressed by his new boss' poise. Granger didn't rise to the Joker's bait and ignored the clown's mind games. He did not buckle under Doctor Doom's steely gaze, nor did he appear unnerved by the Red Skull's ever-silent, lurking presence in the back of a dim cell. And when Lex Luthor asked to speak with him "leader to leader", Granger dismissed the corrupt tycoon with a sneer. "My administration doesn't work with impeached presidents," he said coolly as he moved on.
While Granger was composed, Spider-Man was having a harder time of it. Venom had been hissing, snarling and laughing to himself from the moment the heroes had entered the facility, and Spidey wanted to know why. "Do you think we'd fail to recognise our greatest creation?" the human/symbiote hybrid chuckled nastily. "We're not sure why you're dressing up in Petey's hand-me-downs, Benjamin. Maybe we should ask a few questions..." Venom looked meaningfully toward Granger and Gordon. "Really, really loud questions."
Spidey fired a web-line at a nearby control console and flicked a switch. Instantly Venom fell silent - even though the creature's mouths were still moving. "Sound-proofing," Spidey told the Silver Surfer. "Let's see the big dummy spill all my secrets now."
The heroes moved on, completely unaware they'd played right into Venom's enormous, clawed hands. The symbiote had but two weaknesses - intense heat and high-frequency sonics - and activating the sound-proofing had cancelled out the restraint speakers dotted throughout the villain's cell. With a horrendous crash of shattering glass, Venom burst out of captivity and bounded into Arkham's hallway. Gordon and the facility's guards drew bead and fired their weapons; the inky black symbiote snatched the bullets out of mid-air and threw them back. The men would have been perforated if not for Spidey and the Surfer, who used webbing and Power Cosmic force fields to shield their allies.
"You two are no fun at all," Venom tutted. "We think we'll go tell our tale elsewhere... find a more receptive audience!"
With a final hiss and disgusting slurp of his long tongue, Venom bounded down the hallway on all fours and smashed through a wall. Spidey leaped onto Surfer's board and clung tightly to his alien team mate as they gave chase. But when he saw Surfer reach for his Avengers ID card - the one with the built-in communicator - he grabbed his friend's silver wrist.
"Let's just keep this one between ourselves, hey?" he said nervously.
"That strikes me as an incredibly bad idea," Surfer countered. "Venom has already shown himself to be more than the police can handle which makes this, as per Mr Granger's own rules, a matter for the New Avengers."
"Sure," Spidey said, "the same New Avengers co-led by Thor and Dr Strange, both of whom just told Granger we don't keep secrets - and I messed up while trying to stop Venom giving away my secrets to Granger! If Thor and Strange hear about this, the only decision they'll have to make is whether they banish me to an alternate dimension before or after they fry me with lightning! No no no, my chrome-plated buddy, this one stays strictly between us. We zip after Venom at light-speed, wrap him up nice and tidy and shoot him back to Arkham, no one the wiser." He gave two thumbs up. "We got this!"
Super Hero City came into view... a metropolis teeming with hundreds of thousands of people, with countless places to hide for a human/symbiote hybrid capable of blending into its surroundings. "Given the symbiote is strangely invisible to both my cosmic awareness and your spider-sense," Surfer said, "how exactly do you feel 'we got this'?"
Spidey moaned.
The heroic duo scoured the city at high speed and found nothing - managing only to knock hats from the heads of citizens and annoy dozens of others as they passed. "It's not just my secrets at stake, but Peter and MJ's as well," Spidey continued, his anguish increasing by the second. "Not to mention May, of course. Oh my gosh, this is a mess... just wait until Jolly Jonah hears about this..."
"Wait, that's it!" Surfer exclaimed. "Venom said he was going to find a receptive audience! And no one in the city would be more receptive to an anti Spider-Man story than J. Jonah Jameson!"
Spidey and the Surfer charged through the front door of the Hero Times, web shooters and cosmic blasts at the ready... but all was quiet. Lois Lane looked up from her desk, one eyebrow arched. "You guys looking for something?" she asked.
"Venom," Spidey breathed. "He broke out of Arkham in search of a listening ear, if you get what I mean."
Lois, one of the few civilians in the world privy to the Peter/Ben story, understood immediately and led the heroes upstairs to Jameson's office. Once more they charged inside - but the irascible editor and publisher was alone, unharmed and furiously bashing one of his famously vitriolic opinion pieces on his computer keyboard.
"What are you doing here, you web-slinging weasel?" he thundered. "And why are you wearing that hideous costume? As if your last one wasn't bad enough! Didn't you read today's Times? My fashion editor says your new pajamas are an affront to colour and angles so hideous that it could turn the sighted blind!"
"And you've got some nerve bringing that bald-headed hood ornament along with you! He may not be a long-haired hippie like the rest of his surfing ilk, but I'd lay odds that just like them he doesn't have a job, either! That's what's wrong with the youth of today - both here and in space! No one has any perseverance! No patience! No one wants to make an honest buck when they can free-load!"
"Umm, Jonah," Lois said, pointing at her boss' rapidly-morphing waistcoat.
"Never interrupt me in the middle of a rant, Lane," Jonah admonished, "especially when the targets of my ire are standing right in front of me! I might never have another opportunity to tell these two super-zeroes what I really think of them!"
Jonah was more right then he realised because, as he raved at Spidey and Surfer, his clothing continued its unsettling metamorphosis. The heroes and Lois watched, horrified, as slacks and shoes became glistening sinew and talons; as shirt sleeves gave way to sharp claws and a neck tie reshaped into an all-too-familiar chest emblem. Jonah didn't even register the spread of thick, viscous black ooze up his neck and into his mouth, still spewing bile as the substance covered his face and twisted his features into a nightmare of white eyes, red gums and needle-like teeth.
Before the heroes stood an all-new hideous hybrid: a malevolent, symbiotic warrior topped with a crew-cut, crewing a thick cigar between its lethal-looking fangs. It blew a ring of noxious smoke at them; the thick grey cloud rapidly filled the room and caused them to cough, gag and choke.
"It's long past time the riff-raff in this city - it's so-called heroes - were cleaned up! Run out of town! Tarred and feathered and treated with the scorn they deserve!" the thing that had once been Jonah barked. "And if the voters won't do it, and our duly-elected Mayor won't do it, then by golly J. Venom Jameson will!"
-----TO BE CONTINUED!-----
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF