The distraction
"Did I just hear Mom say something, on the phone, about me getting a present tonight?"
"Can't tell you. Doing so would be contrary to my vows as a NEST operative."
"Daaaaad, you're not a NEST operative."
"Of course I am. I'm a highly-trained, highly-decorated member of Networked Elements: Supporters and Transformers."
"No you're not. Transformers aren't real."
"That's what we want you to think."
"That's the way it is. Transformers only exist in movies, comics, cartoons and as toys. If they were real, there wouldn't be all those things."
"Of course there would. Years ago, we figured out the best way to keep humanity in the dark about Transformers was to turn them into fictional characters. That way, no one in their right mind would ever believe that they're real. And all the money we get from movie tickets, toy sales and the like is used to create bigger, badder, better weaponry to destroy Decepticons."
[long pause]
"Okay, that totally makes sense. But there's no way you are a NEST operative. You're a newspaper reporter."
"Come on, LJ, don't tell me you haven't figured it out. I go to work every day with Autobot symbol cuff-links. I drive a car that's clearly a Transformer. How have you missed the signs?"
"But you work at the newspaper! I see your name on stories!"
"NEST pays the newspaper to put my byline up there as part of my cover. And journalism is the perfect cover. You want to know the real reason Tiger Airways has been grounded? All its planes were Decepticons, hiding out and waiting for the right moment to strike. Optimus Prime and I spent the first three days of this week taking them down and chopping them up. I've got one of their heads in the comic room - you could take it to school for show and tell, if you like."
[longer pause]
"So my whole life you've actually been a NEST operative and not a reporter. The reason you like Transformers so much is because you work with them, and you spend every day tracking hidden Decepticons and stopping them before they hurt normal people."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about what you just told me."
"What do you mean, what I just told you?"
"About you being a NEST operative and working with the Autobots!"
"Oh, LJ, don't be silly - Transformers aren't real."
"AAARRRRRGH!"
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
"Can't tell you. Doing so would be contrary to my vows as a NEST operative."
"Daaaaad, you're not a NEST operative."
"Of course I am. I'm a highly-trained, highly-decorated member of Networked Elements: Supporters and Transformers."
"No you're not. Transformers aren't real."
"That's what we want you to think."
"That's the way it is. Transformers only exist in movies, comics, cartoons and as toys. If they were real, there wouldn't be all those things."
"Of course there would. Years ago, we figured out the best way to keep humanity in the dark about Transformers was to turn them into fictional characters. That way, no one in their right mind would ever believe that they're real. And all the money we get from movie tickets, toy sales and the like is used to create bigger, badder, better weaponry to destroy Decepticons."
[long pause]
"Okay, that totally makes sense. But there's no way you are a NEST operative. You're a newspaper reporter."
"Come on, LJ, don't tell me you haven't figured it out. I go to work every day with Autobot symbol cuff-links. I drive a car that's clearly a Transformer. How have you missed the signs?"
"But you work at the newspaper! I see your name on stories!"
"NEST pays the newspaper to put my byline up there as part of my cover. And journalism is the perfect cover. You want to know the real reason Tiger Airways has been grounded? All its planes were Decepticons, hiding out and waiting for the right moment to strike. Optimus Prime and I spent the first three days of this week taking them down and chopping them up. I've got one of their heads in the comic room - you could take it to school for show and tell, if you like."
[longer pause]
"So my whole life you've actually been a NEST operative and not a reporter. The reason you like Transformers so much is because you work with them, and you spend every day tracking hidden Decepticons and stopping them before they hurt normal people."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about what you just told me."
"What do you mean, what I just told you?"
"About you being a NEST operative and working with the Autobots!"
"Oh, LJ, don't be silly - Transformers aren't real."
"AAARRRRRGH!"
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF