Dear Assholes: Theatre Edition
Dear Assholes making crap plays in New York:
Here's the thing - "Jewtopia" was funny because it actually made fun of the people who make fun of certain stereotypes. It took every Jewish (and Gentile) stereotype and turned it on its head in a way that was hilarious and clever.
The rest of you asswipes, though, need to have a great big glass of shut the hell up.
I'm talking about all these crap "plays" that are really nothing more than some unfunny schlub perpetrating more stereotypes. While I could only roll my eyes at the mere title of - and I'm not making this up - "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm In Therapy!", I am actually offended at the new off-Broadway show, "Straight Up With A Twist." Know what it's about? A straight guy - who preferes cooking and cleaning to sports and power tools! Oh my god! Who ever HEARD of such a thing...in 2008...in New York City??? Please hand me my smelling salts, I must have the vapors!
Sample line from the tv commercial for the play, and again, I'm not making this up: "Don't call me during Monday night football. That's when I vaccuum." HILARIOUS. I totally get the joke! You think he's going to complain that he's busy watching the game, but...he's not! He's vaccuuming! A job traditionally reserved for women and gay men, right? Right???
Stop it. Just stop. Here is my short and by no means all-inclusive list of topics I never want "explored" in any more one-man shows. And by "explored," I of course mean "beaten to death."
*Jews are neurotic
*Italians/Latinos are loud-mouthed
*Gays are flamboyant
*Straights are macho
*Whites are boring
*Singles are desperate
*Marrieds are miserable
Oh, Thespius, please let me score some tickets to Patrick Stewart in "MacBeth," so I don't have to beat myself to death over the current state of New York theatre. Thank you.
The Baroness
Here's the thing - "Jewtopia" was funny because it actually made fun of the people who make fun of certain stereotypes. It took every Jewish (and Gentile) stereotype and turned it on its head in a way that was hilarious and clever.
The rest of you asswipes, though, need to have a great big glass of shut the hell up.
I'm talking about all these crap "plays" that are really nothing more than some unfunny schlub perpetrating more stereotypes. While I could only roll my eyes at the mere title of - and I'm not making this up - "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm In Therapy!", I am actually offended at the new off-Broadway show, "Straight Up With A Twist." Know what it's about? A straight guy - who preferes cooking and cleaning to sports and power tools! Oh my god! Who ever HEARD of such a thing...in 2008...in New York City??? Please hand me my smelling salts, I must have the vapors!
Sample line from the tv commercial for the play, and again, I'm not making this up: "Don't call me during Monday night football. That's when I vaccuum." HILARIOUS. I totally get the joke! You think he's going to complain that he's busy watching the game, but...he's not! He's vaccuuming! A job traditionally reserved for women and gay men, right? Right???
Stop it. Just stop. Here is my short and by no means all-inclusive list of topics I never want "explored" in any more one-man shows. And by "explored," I of course mean "beaten to death."
*Jews are neurotic
*Italians/Latinos are loud-mouthed
*Gays are flamboyant
*Straights are macho
*Whites are boring
*Singles are desperate
*Marrieds are miserable
Oh, Thespius, please let me score some tickets to Patrick Stewart in "MacBeth," so I don't have to beat myself to death over the current state of New York theatre. Thank you.
The Baroness