Dear Asshole: Yoga Pants Edition
Dear Asshole at Modell's This Afternoon:
I know you saw me waiting for the one available fitting room - I know because you and I looked right at each other several times while I was waiting. Waiting for YOU to finish trying on a billion different workout pants and then walk out of the fitting room to stare at yourself in the full-length mirror for half an hour. You look like a fairly typical Upper East Side middle-aged pretentious, rich bitch to me, and so therefore I have to say that if how you look at the gym is that important to you, maybe you should go to Bloomingdale's or something. And leave Modell's for those of us who really do need to spend less than $20 on one stinkin' pair of yoga pants for next Sunday's Pilates class.
I hate you and I hope that every time you get fat-free cream cheese on your whole wheat bagels they substitute it for full-fat cream cheese. Bitch.
No amount of Stairmaster will perk up that saggy ass of yours,
The Baroness
I know you saw me waiting for the one available fitting room - I know because you and I looked right at each other several times while I was waiting. Waiting for YOU to finish trying on a billion different workout pants and then walk out of the fitting room to stare at yourself in the full-length mirror for half an hour. You look like a fairly typical Upper East Side middle-aged pretentious, rich bitch to me, and so therefore I have to say that if how you look at the gym is that important to you, maybe you should go to Bloomingdale's or something. And leave Modell's for those of us who really do need to spend less than $20 on one stinkin' pair of yoga pants for next Sunday's Pilates class.
I hate you and I hope that every time you get fat-free cream cheese on your whole wheat bagels they substitute it for full-fat cream cheese. Bitch.
No amount of Stairmaster will perk up that saggy ass of yours,
The Baroness