Parenting
I'm not saying that I'm a perfect parent and shouldn't occasionally have an outside voice to keep me on the right track, what I am saying is that nobody deserves to be treated like they are a bad parent when their child is healthy, happy, and doing wonderfully in school.
I have been living this way for over six years now. My son was born from a short lived relationship. I didn't even know I was pregnant for months after the relationship ended. When I finally did find out, it was half way through my pregnancy because of a previously diagnosed medical condition that behaves a lot like pregnancy. I remember after getting my mother drunk on wine and then revealing my newest secret, telling her that I needed 2 days to sort it all out in my head and to figure out what was best for me and my baby. After only 24 hours, I knew in my heart that I had the family and resources I needed to be able to raise him myself. Not without some degree of difficulty but with all the love he could get from my family.
Some people told me I shouldn't let his dad know and just raise the baby on my own. After some consideration I decided that wouldn't be fair to my child, having half of who he is missing from his life because of a choice I made. I told his father the unexpected news right after my first ultrasound (4 days after finding out I was pregnant)revealing that I was having a boy. His father instantly told me I needed to go get an abortion. Aside from the fact that it was way too late for that, that's MY choice not his. I told him his choice was to be included in our son's life or not. He chose not at that point. When it came time to give birth all he had to say to me was "good luck with that."
After about a year of checking in with him he finally told his new girlfriend that he had a kid and she told him if he didn't have anything to do with his son she wouldn't have anything to do with him. So he decided to be in our son's life and finally tell his family about his son. I was happy for our son.
Since that point though, my communication with his father had been nothing but toxic. Constantly I'm told what a lousy parent I am, what I'm doing wrong and what I need to be doing in my life. He has this need to control every ounce of my life. After I bought my house he told me I should've consulted him about it, he doesn't approve of the car I drive, the clothes our son wears, the people I date. I am constantly being heckled and put down by the person that is supposed to be helping me teach our son how to be a person.
The good news is my son is amazing. He's funny,friendly and smart. He's grown 4 inches in the last six and is about to lose his first tooth. He's healthy.
I know in my heart that I'm the best parent I know how to be and have done anything possible to be that way. I have been constantly told what a great kid I've got from everybody he meets and that I'm doing it right. I'm sick of hearing otherwise from his father.
Knowing that I'm doing well should be enough. I have what it takes to get my son through to adulthood and hope he turns out as good as he is now. I don't know if I've got what it takes to not let his father's voice get into my head and convince me I'm a terrible mother and my son deserves better.
In a couple weeks, my son's father will be having a new baby with his wife. I'm praying with all of my heart that it alleviates some of the control he needs over me.
I have been living this way for over six years now. My son was born from a short lived relationship. I didn't even know I was pregnant for months after the relationship ended. When I finally did find out, it was half way through my pregnancy because of a previously diagnosed medical condition that behaves a lot like pregnancy. I remember after getting my mother drunk on wine and then revealing my newest secret, telling her that I needed 2 days to sort it all out in my head and to figure out what was best for me and my baby. After only 24 hours, I knew in my heart that I had the family and resources I needed to be able to raise him myself. Not without some degree of difficulty but with all the love he could get from my family.
Some people told me I shouldn't let his dad know and just raise the baby on my own. After some consideration I decided that wouldn't be fair to my child, having half of who he is missing from his life because of a choice I made. I told his father the unexpected news right after my first ultrasound (4 days after finding out I was pregnant)revealing that I was having a boy. His father instantly told me I needed to go get an abortion. Aside from the fact that it was way too late for that, that's MY choice not his. I told him his choice was to be included in our son's life or not. He chose not at that point. When it came time to give birth all he had to say to me was "good luck with that."
After about a year of checking in with him he finally told his new girlfriend that he had a kid and she told him if he didn't have anything to do with his son she wouldn't have anything to do with him. So he decided to be in our son's life and finally tell his family about his son. I was happy for our son.
Since that point though, my communication with his father had been nothing but toxic. Constantly I'm told what a lousy parent I am, what I'm doing wrong and what I need to be doing in my life. He has this need to control every ounce of my life. After I bought my house he told me I should've consulted him about it, he doesn't approve of the car I drive, the clothes our son wears, the people I date. I am constantly being heckled and put down by the person that is supposed to be helping me teach our son how to be a person.
The good news is my son is amazing. He's funny,friendly and smart. He's grown 4 inches in the last six and is about to lose his first tooth. He's healthy.
I know in my heart that I'm the best parent I know how to be and have done anything possible to be that way. I have been constantly told what a great kid I've got from everybody he meets and that I'm doing it right. I'm sick of hearing otherwise from his father.
Knowing that I'm doing well should be enough. I have what it takes to get my son through to adulthood and hope he turns out as good as he is now. I don't know if I've got what it takes to not let his father's voice get into my head and convince me I'm a terrible mother and my son deserves better.
In a couple weeks, my son's father will be having a new baby with his wife. I'm praying with all of my heart that it alleviates some of the control he needs over me.