"We live in love but fly in chains."
x-posted to writers_orgasm
Trying to find good Reno smut has been harder than I expected. Mostly I come across "gems" like this one. Bear with me, I'm no revena.
The pairing is Reno and an original female character who I'm assuming is also a Turk.
"I came to pick you up." Why do that, Reno? I have my own car and would rather not be in the same car so close to you, seeing as I have a very big infatuation with you. If you only knew...
His smirk is now a half-assed grin. "How long have you had this...infatuation with me?"..."You may not have realized it at the time, but you were thinking out loud."
Kind of like Austin Powers when he had no interior monologue?
I don't even remember how his tongue ended up in my mouth, but it did.
Why do so many OCs have psychological problems? First no interior monologe, now loss of memory. Has she had a stroke?
Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm fallin'
Oh dear gods no, it's a Britney Spears songfic. In my defense, I only know it's Britney Spears because I looked it up.
"What do you want from me, Reno?" I inquire as he places kisses down the middle of my chest.
I don't know about any of you, but I don't think I would need to ask at that point.
"Ah," I gasp as I feel his tongue lick me. I guess I was too caught up in my thoughts to realize that he had gone down on me, and that I was now on his shoulders with my back against the wall, moaning and panting like I just completed a 100-meter run and am in extreme pain.
Let's just ignore the sentence structure here. I'm far too concerned about these memory lapses of hers. I for one have never been so distracted that I didn't notice someone going down on me.
You seem to get very horny when touched in the right way.
Nothing gets past Reno, does it?
"You just look like you can't get up. You passed out for a while, so I washed your clothes and fed Charcoal."
What? I passed out? Oh crap. "When? How long was I out?"
You were out for about five hours. I started to get worried."
Five hours!? She needs medical help, Reno, not a maid!
"You have beautiful eyes. I didn't know that they were red. They remind me of someone. I just can't put my finger on who, though." Why won't this blush go away? "You're cute when you blush." He's doing this on purpose, just to make me blush even more. Well, Reno: you've accomplished your task, so what are you gonna do now? "I know now! Vincent Valentine!"
"?"
"That's who you remind me of." He looked up thoughtfully. "Now that I think about it," he paused, "you look just like him, except for the skin color."
"Of course I do. He's my father."
Of course he is, Mary Sue. One fanfic writer has been able to pull this off believably, and she's on my flist.
This part is confusing as hell, so I added the names so you know who's speaking.
Mary Sue: "What do you mean? What does he have to do with this?"
Reno: "His my older half-brother."
Mary Sue: "So that means that -- "
Reno: "Yes."
Mary Sue:" -- Vincent had children by two different women! Wow."
**headdesk headdesk headdesk** And the fact that this would make Reno her uncle means...nothing!
I look over to see Memory sitting in the corner, bathing. "Memory?" She looked up. "What do you think about Reno?"
Why does it matter what I think? If you want him, go get him.
"That's not the point. I mean, it does matter what you think, because if you like him then I won't have to worry about you trying to attack him in his sleep."
What makes you think that I would try to attack him? Do you not trust me?
"Of course I trust you or you wouldn't be here."
I see. So what are you worried about?
"Just in case there's something about him that I should know before I try to marry him or something."
I guess incest isn't illegal in Midgar.
I haven't a problem with the man.
"I know but,"
But nothing. I have not sensed anything wrong with him, so he must be a good person.
"Are you sure?"
I am positive. Why don't you go and talk to Charcoal? Maybe he has sensed something that I haven't.
"Okay. Thank you."
You're welcome, dear.
After my little chat with Memory, I got dressed and went to look for Charcoal. You're probably wondering what just happened.
I think everyone is
Well, I can talk to my cats. It's more like telepathy. I have a problem, I just talk to them about it and they help me solve it. It's quite simple, really. But enough about that.
"Enough about that." First intelligent statement made in this fic.
So, now they're going out to dinner.
"Okay." We stopped at an Italian restaurant called Squisito Alimento. It's Italian for exquisite food.
"Hey, I've always wanted to come here."
"Well, today's your lucky day. My cousin owns this place."
"So you're Italian?"
"Yup."
"I learned Italian in college. It's my favorite language aside from Spanish."
Italian? Spanish? Does she even know that FF7 is not set on Earth?
Some Italian man came out from the back screaming at what looked like the cooks. "WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!? ARE YOU IDIOTS!? WHEN YOU CRACK THE EGGS, THROW THE EGG SHELLS IN THE TRASH, NOT IN THE FOOD!!!"
Maybe that explains what happens later.
"Kat? Kat!?" She just passed out. Right after eating my cousin's food.
Told ya she was sick.
"Okay, before she passed out, was there any strange actions or movements?"
No, she was just reading this fanfic online and the next thing I knew she was on the floor out cold.
Trying to find good Reno smut has been harder than I expected. Mostly I come across "gems" like this one. Bear with me, I'm no revena.
The pairing is Reno and an original female character who I'm assuming is also a Turk.
"I came to pick you up." Why do that, Reno? I have my own car and would rather not be in the same car so close to you, seeing as I have a very big infatuation with you. If you only knew...
His smirk is now a half-assed grin. "How long have you had this...infatuation with me?"..."You may not have realized it at the time, but you were thinking out loud."
Kind of like Austin Powers when he had no interior monologue?
I don't even remember how his tongue ended up in my mouth, but it did.
Why do so many OCs have psychological problems? First no interior monologe, now loss of memory. Has she had a stroke?
Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm fallin'
Oh dear gods no, it's a Britney Spears songfic. In my defense, I only know it's Britney Spears because I looked it up.
"What do you want from me, Reno?" I inquire as he places kisses down the middle of my chest.
I don't know about any of you, but I don't think I would need to ask at that point.
"Ah," I gasp as I feel his tongue lick me. I guess I was too caught up in my thoughts to realize that he had gone down on me, and that I was now on his shoulders with my back against the wall, moaning and panting like I just completed a 100-meter run and am in extreme pain.
Let's just ignore the sentence structure here. I'm far too concerned about these memory lapses of hers. I for one have never been so distracted that I didn't notice someone going down on me.
You seem to get very horny when touched in the right way.
Nothing gets past Reno, does it?
"You just look like you can't get up. You passed out for a while, so I washed your clothes and fed Charcoal."
What? I passed out? Oh crap. "When? How long was I out?"
You were out for about five hours. I started to get worried."
Five hours!? She needs medical help, Reno, not a maid!
"You have beautiful eyes. I didn't know that they were red. They remind me of someone. I just can't put my finger on who, though." Why won't this blush go away? "You're cute when you blush." He's doing this on purpose, just to make me blush even more. Well, Reno: you've accomplished your task, so what are you gonna do now? "I know now! Vincent Valentine!"
"?"
"That's who you remind me of." He looked up thoughtfully. "Now that I think about it," he paused, "you look just like him, except for the skin color."
"Of course I do. He's my father."
Of course he is, Mary Sue. One fanfic writer has been able to pull this off believably, and she's on my flist.
This part is confusing as hell, so I added the names so you know who's speaking.
Mary Sue: "What do you mean? What does he have to do with this?"
Reno: "His my older half-brother."
Mary Sue: "So that means that -- "
Reno: "Yes."
Mary Sue:" -- Vincent had children by two different women! Wow."
**headdesk headdesk headdesk** And the fact that this would make Reno her uncle means...nothing!
I look over to see Memory sitting in the corner, bathing. "Memory?" She looked up. "What do you think about Reno?"
Why does it matter what I think? If you want him, go get him.
"That's not the point. I mean, it does matter what you think, because if you like him then I won't have to worry about you trying to attack him in his sleep."
What makes you think that I would try to attack him? Do you not trust me?
"Of course I trust you or you wouldn't be here."
I see. So what are you worried about?
"Just in case there's something about him that I should know before I try to marry him or something."
I guess incest isn't illegal in Midgar.
I haven't a problem with the man.
"I know but,"
But nothing. I have not sensed anything wrong with him, so he must be a good person.
"Are you sure?"
I am positive. Why don't you go and talk to Charcoal? Maybe he has sensed something that I haven't.
"Okay. Thank you."
You're welcome, dear.
After my little chat with Memory, I got dressed and went to look for Charcoal. You're probably wondering what just happened.
I think everyone is
Well, I can talk to my cats. It's more like telepathy. I have a problem, I just talk to them about it and they help me solve it. It's quite simple, really. But enough about that.
"Enough about that." First intelligent statement made in this fic.
So, now they're going out to dinner.
"Okay." We stopped at an Italian restaurant called Squisito Alimento. It's Italian for exquisite food.
"Hey, I've always wanted to come here."
"Well, today's your lucky day. My cousin owns this place."
"So you're Italian?"
"Yup."
"I learned Italian in college. It's my favorite language aside from Spanish."
Italian? Spanish? Does she even know that FF7 is not set on Earth?
Some Italian man came out from the back screaming at what looked like the cooks. "WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!? ARE YOU IDIOTS!? WHEN YOU CRACK THE EGGS, THROW THE EGG SHELLS IN THE TRASH, NOT IN THE FOOD!!!"
Maybe that explains what happens later.
"Kat? Kat!?" She just passed out. Right after eating my cousin's food.
Told ya she was sick.
"Okay, before she passed out, was there any strange actions or movements?"
No, she was just reading this fanfic online and the next thing I knew she was on the floor out cold.