A Mothers Hopeful Understanding
It is world around me unlike any other, but much like the one, I know to be true. Rubble of majestic buildings, beautiful balancing nature and humanity are gone from my site. What exists is the darken skies of raining blood though not one drop reaches the faces of hatred, jealousy and greed around me. The only blood dripping to the soak ground comes from a human sea mirroring the balance of the heel that has become this world, our world. The human sea, battles with each other in pairs of twos and threes without notice or provocation of distraction leading into the next fray of grappling fingers. It is a dismal panorama of despairing heartache for one such as me; for one that senses the heartache of others without touching thought to mind, or feels the heartache of destroying the beautiful balance that makes up our world.
I am standing in a small; yet, unrecognized clearing of this wake of blood and emotions. The blue depth of my searching and tearful gaze stretches this way and that over the panorama of despairing images. I am aware of this world and of the reality in my conscious mind; I know this could become our world underneath the facades of life. I ask myself quietly among the static noise of battle if it has already become this in the higher planes of emotions; is this the world as we can only hope for in the future? I am also aware that I am a version of my real self, wearing and existing in clothes that are generic enough to be noticed; yet, still distinguishably different than the others around me. I am wearing blue jeans and a white cotton t-shirt. My hair is long and free, like that of maiden’s fiery red mane in the heat of summer’s passion. There is only one odd thing about my attire here in this realm of dangerous events; I have no shoes or socks to cover my feet. However, I do not cut the skin or bruise in anyway.
I begin to make my way through the forest of bodies, entangled one moment then pulled into and a different group the next moment. The mass of bodies and battle part for me as if a sensing of another body, though not one turns to notice me. If I should become knocked into another body switching from one battle, to the zombie-human creature blankly stares down or up at me then pivots into the next group. Tears streak down my face though the impact of the emotions in this world is subdued in my heart. It takes a while to trek and climb over rumble piles toward a central locus of this chaos. Questions enter my mind as to why and what happened to make our world in such a sad displaying lack of beautiful emotions and inspirations.
I arrive on the hill over-looking the chaos this is and shall perhaps be my world in the future. I can only stare in hopelessness and weighing sadness. It is all I do for the interim that I remain on this hill; I am contemplating so many unanswered questions, so many whys. I barely notice the shifting change of what is laid in my arms to cradle and hold. It is a child - an infant barely days old. The infant is wrapped loosely in a white cotton blanket making the color of its skin stand out against its starkness. The baby is soaked and covered in the freshness of blood, as if someone had bathed in the precious liquid of life. The tiny hands reach up to smear the bright blood over the edge of the cotton t-shirt I am wearing. It continues to reach up to smear its tiny fingers over the collarbone of my neck. I look down into eyes so pure of blue that they stand out in white shades of the skies when darkness did not envelop them. In the depths of that stare is the universe of answers and goodness that had been drain once from the world. I begin to fell the rush of awareness that this is my daughter, my Evey. She is precious beyond my limited imagination and here aura fills me with the loving light I once felt from the world in my realty. It is a long moment we share in locked stares and understandings. Yet, all things precious and desolate must end, and I am at once gasping for breath in my present reality.
END
This is and was a reoccuring nightmare/dream ,if you will, of mine. I first had it for atleast five consecutive nights in a row. then later three weeks, atleast two nights a week. I didn't wish to leave this just to myself for interpretation, so wiccans and others please feel free to open your opinions to me on my discovering nightmare.
I am standing in a small; yet, unrecognized clearing of this wake of blood and emotions. The blue depth of my searching and tearful gaze stretches this way and that over the panorama of despairing images. I am aware of this world and of the reality in my conscious mind; I know this could become our world underneath the facades of life. I ask myself quietly among the static noise of battle if it has already become this in the higher planes of emotions; is this the world as we can only hope for in the future? I am also aware that I am a version of my real self, wearing and existing in clothes that are generic enough to be noticed; yet, still distinguishably different than the others around me. I am wearing blue jeans and a white cotton t-shirt. My hair is long and free, like that of maiden’s fiery red mane in the heat of summer’s passion. There is only one odd thing about my attire here in this realm of dangerous events; I have no shoes or socks to cover my feet. However, I do not cut the skin or bruise in anyway.
I begin to make my way through the forest of bodies, entangled one moment then pulled into and a different group the next moment. The mass of bodies and battle part for me as if a sensing of another body, though not one turns to notice me. If I should become knocked into another body switching from one battle, to the zombie-human creature blankly stares down or up at me then pivots into the next group. Tears streak down my face though the impact of the emotions in this world is subdued in my heart. It takes a while to trek and climb over rumble piles toward a central locus of this chaos. Questions enter my mind as to why and what happened to make our world in such a sad displaying lack of beautiful emotions and inspirations.
I arrive on the hill over-looking the chaos this is and shall perhaps be my world in the future. I can only stare in hopelessness and weighing sadness. It is all I do for the interim that I remain on this hill; I am contemplating so many unanswered questions, so many whys. I barely notice the shifting change of what is laid in my arms to cradle and hold. It is a child - an infant barely days old. The infant is wrapped loosely in a white cotton blanket making the color of its skin stand out against its starkness. The baby is soaked and covered in the freshness of blood, as if someone had bathed in the precious liquid of life. The tiny hands reach up to smear the bright blood over the edge of the cotton t-shirt I am wearing. It continues to reach up to smear its tiny fingers over the collarbone of my neck. I look down into eyes so pure of blue that they stand out in white shades of the skies when darkness did not envelop them. In the depths of that stare is the universe of answers and goodness that had been drain once from the world. I begin to fell the rush of awareness that this is my daughter, my Evey. She is precious beyond my limited imagination and here aura fills me with the loving light I once felt from the world in my realty. It is a long moment we share in locked stares and understandings. Yet, all things precious and desolate must end, and I am at once gasping for breath in my present reality.
END
This is and was a reoccuring nightmare/dream ,if you will, of mine. I first had it for atleast five consecutive nights in a row. then later three weeks, atleast two nights a week. I didn't wish to leave this just to myself for interpretation, so wiccans and others please feel free to open your opinions to me on my discovering nightmare.