Loneliness
That's certainly a depressing title. Might as well call it "Pity Train" or "I am the only person in the world who feels pain so pay attention to me". Pathetic, but I digress...
By definition: Lonely adj. alone; feeling sad because alone.
Have you ever gone past this state to the one of detachment?
Detached adj. standing apart, isolated.
You just kind of sit there quiet and thoughtful. Crowds could be flocking around you, noisy and pushy, and you sit. Alone. Locked away in your own head where nobody is listening except your own conscience. Its somewhat daunting to turn your self awareness as far inward as you can and look around in that dark cavern or wherever your thoughts reside. I swear I have this huge library in my head where all of my thoughts, memories, and concerns become neat little books, neatly filling the endless shelves that line the walls of my existence. All cataloged and filed away so that, at a moments notice, I can pluck whatever I need off the shelf.
I get distracted... nice imagery though huh? The mind is a funny organ. It is so very complicated in the thinking processes, with little sparks of electrodes shooting off from here to there telling your body how to work and what to do constantly. Yet it is fundamentally simple. Simple needs to keep a simple happiness and balance of emotion. Balance of life.
Lots of people think they know me pretty well, and I guess in a way, they are correct. They know all the me that I allow to show, that I allow them to know. And you know they might know this, but the issue isn't pursued. They get to know the outer, public, you and are happy with that. Not alot of people TRY to dig deeper. Why do you suppose this is. Are they frightened to try and figure out more? Do they care? Maybe their own issues are clogging up their own mind so, that they feel it would be dealing with too much. And why do we hide ourselves from one another. I mean sure, there are those people that are open books to the world. Are they really happy being that way? Is it healthy to be this way and invite the world into your head?
Methinks not, but that is me. To each their own. I like it in here. Its calm, and quiet. For the past year or so, its been rather lonely too. Absurdity for sure because I am almost always surrounded by people. Friends, relatives, people I love and hold dear. Yet, a pang, a stab of feeling alone and unseen. I'd like to be seen. By someone special, someone who cares enough to part the curtains obscuring the doorway to my shelves of books. I'd been feeling it lately, the bit of jealousy of those of whom have found who they need and want. I don't begrudge them at all, but I think I would like to find that for myself sometime soon. A partner to share things with, do things with, hell even argue with.
Or maybe Jen just needs to get laid...
Heh heh
By definition: Lonely adj. alone; feeling sad because alone.
Have you ever gone past this state to the one of detachment?
Detached adj. standing apart, isolated.
You just kind of sit there quiet and thoughtful. Crowds could be flocking around you, noisy and pushy, and you sit. Alone. Locked away in your own head where nobody is listening except your own conscience. Its somewhat daunting to turn your self awareness as far inward as you can and look around in that dark cavern or wherever your thoughts reside. I swear I have this huge library in my head where all of my thoughts, memories, and concerns become neat little books, neatly filling the endless shelves that line the walls of my existence. All cataloged and filed away so that, at a moments notice, I can pluck whatever I need off the shelf.
I get distracted... nice imagery though huh? The mind is a funny organ. It is so very complicated in the thinking processes, with little sparks of electrodes shooting off from here to there telling your body how to work and what to do constantly. Yet it is fundamentally simple. Simple needs to keep a simple happiness and balance of emotion. Balance of life.
Lots of people think they know me pretty well, and I guess in a way, they are correct. They know all the me that I allow to show, that I allow them to know. And you know they might know this, but the issue isn't pursued. They get to know the outer, public, you and are happy with that. Not alot of people TRY to dig deeper. Why do you suppose this is. Are they frightened to try and figure out more? Do they care? Maybe their own issues are clogging up their own mind so, that they feel it would be dealing with too much. And why do we hide ourselves from one another. I mean sure, there are those people that are open books to the world. Are they really happy being that way? Is it healthy to be this way and invite the world into your head?
Methinks not, but that is me. To each their own. I like it in here. Its calm, and quiet. For the past year or so, its been rather lonely too. Absurdity for sure because I am almost always surrounded by people. Friends, relatives, people I love and hold dear. Yet, a pang, a stab of feeling alone and unseen. I'd like to be seen. By someone special, someone who cares enough to part the curtains obscuring the doorway to my shelves of books. I'd been feeling it lately, the bit of jealousy of those of whom have found who they need and want. I don't begrudge them at all, but I think I would like to find that for myself sometime soon. A partner to share things with, do things with, hell even argue with.
Or maybe Jen just needs to get laid...
Heh heh