Charity Care
GRRR!!! I was rejected for Charity Care from my hospital stay...The bill is well over $130,000 and they can kiss my ass if they ever want one penny paid. I didn't want to go in the first place! Everyone's like "you can apply for charity care"...But I didn't get it, did I???? Well, I don't pay for healthcare...I would rather die. If t hey ever take me to court, as I presume some day they will...I will kill myself at that time. My dad always said to me - never file for bankruptcy...ever....ever...it f*ks your credit up for life...or for a good long time...longer than any sane person wants...but still..$130,000?! FUCK! That's a mortgage! If I had like $10,000,000 or more I might shove $130,000 to them to shut them up but I'm not doing a payment plan of $50/month or something - That will not be paid off for over 216 years! My kids and grandkids will have that debt on them...They must not! :-( Not that I have kids but I'd sooner pay for a house of $130,000..I'd sooner fly to Pluto for a Harry Potter or Twilight or Star Trek convention for $130,000 than pay for some dumbass doctor (and they really are dumbasses)...to walk in, say "Hi..how are you...any pains" and me to say "Yeah in my ass/neck/whatever...standing right in front of me"..and he walks out and charges me $500 for 5 minutes of torturing me. Goddamn them. I hate doctors and nurses and don't ever give me "They make you better"...I can get better on my own or I clearly wasn't meant to come out of it. People are bitching since I come out of the hospital about 'what' I eat when I have cut back significantly on the amount and have lost a lot of weight and the shit they want me to eat, literally tastes like shit or cardboard laced with shit....so I ask - when will I be able to enjoy life if I'm eating this shit that tastes like shit in order to live longer in order to eat shit that tastes like shit? I've heard about when I'm in Heaven - except - Heaven doesn't exist - neither does hell..as an afterlife...You're either re-incarnated or you are done. So once I'm dead, that's the end..if it's not the end, then I come back as another creature like a pheasant or dolphin or Cephalopod or something, maybe another human.
This morning / Last night I couldn't sleep past about 12:30 or so and I was working on the application for my job...not the V2 system but the V3 which I'm so proud of. This girl who I met a few days ago online who is 18 going on 19 in May was giving me attitude last night so I had deleted her from my buddy list after she told me twice she was not going to talk to me anymore..fine...good bye! I don't need that crap to be honest but I liked her too (or I wouldn't have continued to converse w/ her). Around 4 or so she IMs me(I rarely block anyone so she could) and tels me she hasn't been to sleep (She's got Liz's sleep schedule it seems)...and then around 5 or so she says she's all wet...I'm like thinking - Why the fuck are you telling me? Dry off and put some clothes on then...Then I realize what she meant LOL about a nanosecond before she says "down there"...yeah I sorta figured and was typing "Wait do you mean what I think you mean?"...and yeah I'm horny...I haven't had sex in a few months and she's cute...I was talking with a girl, 29(I think anymore), and her background is Greek, Russian, and Scottish...I was excited and looked forward to meeting her and getting to know her. She hasn't texted me now for over 48 hours, maybe even 72 hours and I texted her this morning - probably knowing the answer - Did I say something wrong or what's up...and asked how she was and if she was brushing me off, say something and I'll leave her be. No word yet. I hate people who brush people off by just not talking or responding...They're pussies! So the 18 yr old girl this morning keeps going at me and I'm already horny so what am I going to do? She lives around Trenton which in normal weather is about 30-45 min drive - it had been sleeting or freezing rain or something like that last night so I figured the trip would take over an hour. It being 5...I would get there around 6, do stuff for an hour, and then I would have to head back down to work...and in her parents house??? She's like that they're sleeping and would never notice...yeah uhuh. It's just wrong! Now, part of me screamed "Go up there and do it!"...the other part said "no...prepare to go to work." Well, given that I had no sleep after 12:30 or 1 or so, I was tired so around 6 I sent an email to my boss and fell asleep on the couch - the email bounced though but I still woke up around 7:45. I was working on the V3 program I mentioned and tried to wake up and ended up leaving around 8:30 or 8:45 instead.
I'm so mad right now though - Why do I have to be so mature...I wanted to go up to her place, have sex until both she and I were happy and then go to work happy...I was telling myself 'no' because I like to take it slow and don't want to just be a slut...but eh...I want to go to Greece in late August or early September. She wants to go too...It's like $2,000 for the airfare and all for 2 people...I'm moving into my new place on Jan 1st...My sister wants to see the new place when I move in - she's going to have something smartass to say...but I let her because I'm a big softy and I figure what can she say about a new place without furniture or anything. I want to go to a nativity this weekend - my friend's birthday is Friday but he's doing something Saturday night...Everyone else's Christmas party is Friday and I don't like to go out Sunday...I want to also see this movie "Four Christmases" and there are a lot of other movies I want to see...I want to see Twilight a 2nd time.
I'm just so upset right now...so upset...I really could walk out into traffic in 3 hours and not be phased. UGH! Good bye!
This morning / Last night I couldn't sleep past about 12:30 or so and I was working on the application for my job...not the V2 system but the V3 which I'm so proud of. This girl who I met a few days ago online who is 18 going on 19 in May was giving me attitude last night so I had deleted her from my buddy list after she told me twice she was not going to talk to me anymore..fine...good bye! I don't need that crap to be honest but I liked her too (or I wouldn't have continued to converse w/ her). Around 4 or so she IMs me(I rarely block anyone so she could) and tels me she hasn't been to sleep (She's got Liz's sleep schedule it seems)...and then around 5 or so she says she's all wet...I'm like thinking - Why the fuck are you telling me? Dry off and put some clothes on then...Then I realize what she meant LOL about a nanosecond before she says "down there"...yeah I sorta figured and was typing "Wait do you mean what I think you mean?"...and yeah I'm horny...I haven't had sex in a few months and she's cute...I was talking with a girl, 29(I think anymore), and her background is Greek, Russian, and Scottish...I was excited and looked forward to meeting her and getting to know her. She hasn't texted me now for over 48 hours, maybe even 72 hours and I texted her this morning - probably knowing the answer - Did I say something wrong or what's up...and asked how she was and if she was brushing me off, say something and I'll leave her be. No word yet. I hate people who brush people off by just not talking or responding...They're pussies! So the 18 yr old girl this morning keeps going at me and I'm already horny so what am I going to do? She lives around Trenton which in normal weather is about 30-45 min drive - it had been sleeting or freezing rain or something like that last night so I figured the trip would take over an hour. It being 5...I would get there around 6, do stuff for an hour, and then I would have to head back down to work...and in her parents house??? She's like that they're sleeping and would never notice...yeah uhuh. It's just wrong! Now, part of me screamed "Go up there and do it!"...the other part said "no...prepare to go to work." Well, given that I had no sleep after 12:30 or 1 or so, I was tired so around 6 I sent an email to my boss and fell asleep on the couch - the email bounced though but I still woke up around 7:45. I was working on the V3 program I mentioned and tried to wake up and ended up leaving around 8:30 or 8:45 instead.
I'm so mad right now though - Why do I have to be so mature...I wanted to go up to her place, have sex until both she and I were happy and then go to work happy...I was telling myself 'no' because I like to take it slow and don't want to just be a slut...but eh...I want to go to Greece in late August or early September. She wants to go too...It's like $2,000 for the airfare and all for 2 people...I'm moving into my new place on Jan 1st...My sister wants to see the new place when I move in - she's going to have something smartass to say...but I let her because I'm a big softy and I figure what can she say about a new place without furniture or anything. I want to go to a nativity this weekend - my friend's birthday is Friday but he's doing something Saturday night...Everyone else's Christmas party is Friday and I don't like to go out Sunday...I want to also see this movie "Four Christmases" and there are a lot of other movies I want to see...I want to see Twilight a 2nd time.
I'm just so upset right now...so upset...I really could walk out into traffic in 3 hours and not be phased. UGH! Good bye!