I noticed a long time ago that he doesn't want to be too close to anyone. His main focus in life is his 2 kids and earning enough money to provide for them. They live in Norway with his Japanese ex wife and it seems that if he wants to see them/do anything with them he has to pay for the lot. He was really disappointed that Emi(who is 18) can't come to FuerteVentura with us, though Kai (his 10 year old son) will be there. I'm really looking forward to meeting the lad. But even if I hadn't already known, the speed at which he pulled away from his Landlady when she got jealous and possessive(from what she told me) would have given me a clue!! To be honest, we are both the kind of people who want our own lives and space, and I am pretty sure that my keeping a distance is the best way to stay friends (with benefits) with him. I may adore him privately, but he is one of those superfit hyperactive twitchy people and we would probably drive each other mad in too close proximity.After all I am fat, lazy and altogether too comfortable with myself sometimes. But in short spells of togetherness, his activity and interests encourage me to be more active and opens my mind to different things, and my calm placidity is very good and soothing for him. I figured out a long time ago that I was in it for the long haul with him (even just as a good and dear friend) and I don't intend to lose that if I can help it. It's not just that he is physically beautiful with a toned body that would look good on a 30 year old, but I actually like him, find him interesting and thoroughly enjoy his company. And really , at our age, aren't we lucky to find as much as that???? I would guess that the giggling harem have no idea that he is 63 (he looks like late 40's early 50's)and because he had his kids so late their ages don't give a clue to his. And apart from all that , it was my first meeting up with all the others in the group and if I am going to go to other events with them, it behoves me to get to know the rest of them, as he wont always be there. I know he wont be attending any of the lunchtime activities (which are much easier for me to do than evening meals in winter over an hour's drive away from here - which he does regularly)and I can't see him turning up at the Vintage Fair in November , which his landlady will also be going to. So for me, it was also about expanding my social circle and generally doing more interesting things.
When it comes to relationships, you are a very smart woman! Nomad and Chesh aren't the only polyamorous people I know - my own son and his wife are, too, to the degree that my daughter-in-law's boyfriend lives with them. (And I've known quite a few others.) Once you get past the common assumption that everybody has to pair up, with 2 being the only permissible number, you realize how limiting that can be! I could cheerfully be polyamorous myself, except for two things: 1) None of the people I want to be polyamorous with want to be polyamorous with me, and 2) my husband doesn't like the idea, and I do want him around for the foreseeable future!
It seems as if you and Gorgeous have an "understanding", whether you've ever actually talked it over or not. It works for both of you, it makes you both happy, and that's all that counts.
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It seems as if you and Gorgeous have an "understanding", whether you've ever actually talked it over or not. It works for both of you, it makes you both happy, and that's all that counts.
Reply
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