I cry cry cry, then I complain, come back for more, do it again.
Passive-aggressive! It's a major buzzword for our generation. No one want to be passive-aggressive, and it seems like everyone gets accused of it at some point
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Ok, maybe he's being oversensitive. I personally don't get jealous, so I have no idea what sets other people off. I'm tempted to say he should just accept the warm embrace of cold, steely logic, but in all honesty, if he can't control his anger, than, again that is the problem. It's not about forcing yourself to obey a dictum, either - you have to decide your life is bettered by improving yourself. I'm not a specialist in the matter, but I do believe that there are courses on anger management.
And finally, finally, if the problem is unsolvable, and she's just chatting with a coworker when *BAM* X gets seized with jealousy and anger he just can't control, but he knows better than to blow up - well, then maybe trying keep it inside is a last resort, but he's not trying to deceive his wife or manipulate her (she's well aware of how he feels), he's just doing his best to behave. And I can't imagine anyone accusing him of being passive-aggressive in that case. They've talked about it, it's a known issue, he's doing his best, she is too.
But then, I don't believe in unsolvable problems.
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I myself get very jealous sometimes (almost never without cause, in fairness -- e.g. that person I'm feeling so sensitive about really is hitting on my boyfriend / really has slept with him / whatever -- but that doesn't excuse me losing my temper and breaking into torrents of tears and suchlike). So I sympathize most with the husband in this equation, but I try really hard to sympathize with the wife. This may lead me to sound slightly schizoid when I discuss it.
As I said further below, I think part of the problem is that people often accuse others of being passive-aggressive more because they feel bad about how the other person feels than because that person is consciously doing anything in particular. And as I said a little bit further up but still below, it's hard to know how to deal with such situations -- yes, you should give people the benefit of the doubt ... but what if you're dealing with a Scarlett O'Hara, and the other person really is manipulating the hell out of you deliberately?
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