The M&M fic
Title: The M&M fic
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur minor Gwen/Lance and Morgana/Leon
Warnings: fluff! Crack! Modern AU!
Rating: R (for language and some sexy stuff)
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, if only for this series of fiction I'm currently working on
Word count: ~7,000
Summary: Merlin loves Arthur, Arthur loves Merlin. Gwen loves Lance, Lance loves Gwen. The problem is none of them have a sodding clue and it's really pissing Morgana off.
AN: please don't flame me, this fic is my baby. Servant-napped is not co-operating with me today and chapter 4 is being annoying, so I'm finally uploading this one! If you don't know what I'm talking (well, writing) about, then look on my first ever lj post here. There I have posted a challenge for anyone wanting to do their own M&M fic! Based on my M&M game, where you eat two M&Ms at a time. If you get two of different colours, they are a straight couple, and if you get two of the same colour, they are a gay couple. Sequel here.
Morgana despaired with them, she truly did. Their utter obliviousness was pissing her off to no end and quite frankly she needed to find new friends, because her current ones were doing her fucking head in. More specifically, Gwen, Lance, Merlin and Arthur were doing her fucking head in. The way they were dancing around each other would be cute if it hadn’t been going on for FAR TOO LONG. She and Arthur had grown up with Gwen, and for a while Morgana had always thought that Arthur and Gwen would make the perfect couple….. But then Arthur had drunkenly snogged Leon at his eighteenth birthday party. Leon, of course, had been a complete gentleman about the whole thing, and nothing had been said about it since. And now, four years later, Arthur was openly gay, fresh out of university, sexually inexperienced with men to a certain degree and arse over tit in love with his best friend, Merlin. Who is also gay and conveniently arse over tit in love with Arthur. The problem was, they would not get their act together and understand that they were meant for one another. And Gwen and Lance weren’t much better. In actual fact, they were a lot, lot worse because they pined ALL THE FUCKING TIME and it was just so sappy and depressing that she wanted to melt and throw herself off a building at the same time.
Merlin and Lance hadn’t joined their group of friends until secondary school. Lance and Merlin were practically joined at the hip, in the same way Arthur and Gwen had been inseparable. Looking back on themselves then, Morgana smiled. They had been like their own little family, because they had all been screwed up in some way by their real ones. Merlin’s dad had run out on him, as had Gwaine’s. Percival’s parents died in an Arson attack when he was young, Will’s mum was an alcoholic, Arthur and Morgana’s mother had died in childbirth (they were twins) and Uther? Uther was a pillock. Leon, Lance, Gwen and Elyan had had things alright, normal families, normal lives.
The way they had met was interesting to say at the least. Morgana, Arthur, Leon, Gwen and Elyan had already been friends beforehand, and with two of them being Pendragons, the five of them had gotten popular pretty quickly, and Arthur was like the leader of the group. Which did not do his ego any favours. At all. On the other hand, there were the “other” five, the parallel opposites to the five of them. Merlin, Lance, Will, Gwaine and Percival, who for some reason hated being called Percy or Perry or Perce or whatever variation of Percival anyone could find, were the misfits. And the leader of this group of misfits? It had to be Merlin. Merlin who, in retrospect, was probably joined at the hip to everyone in his group but in a slightly different way which made him so endearing to all of them. As far as she knew, Merlin and Will had known each other since birth, until Lance came into the picture when he moved to Camelot when they were about six years old. Merlin and Will had taken to Lance straight away, and the three of them had become the literal Snap, Crackle and Pop. They met Gwaine when chicken pox was going around in primary school, and both Lance and Will were off of school with it. Merlin, unfortunately, had procured the disease at the tender age of four and had to go into school alone. Merlin was the kind of child who attracted attention from bullies, but when Valiant pushed him over in the playground, it was Gwaine who came to his rescue. Which resulted in Valiant being pushed over and then Gwaine giving Merlin a hand up from the floor and introducing himself. Of course, Merlin felt he had to prove he wasn’t completely useless, so when Valiant stood up behind Gwaine to reach out and pull his hair, Merlin had hit him in the face. Merlin had been so proud to introduce his new detention buddy to Will and Lance when they came back, and so the threesome became a foursome. Percival was the latest addition to the group, whom the four friends met on their first day of secondary school. They’d had to play a game in their form time to get to know each other, but by the middle everyone had sorted themselves out into groups, except for Percival, who was sat alone in the corner of the room. Merlin’s Misfits had immediately gone over to him, Gwaine slinging an arm around his broad shoulders, Lance politely introducing himself and asking his name, Will making stupid faces and Merlin simply smiling warmly at him, which resulted in a large grin from Percival. Morgana loved this story and she swears she will be telling it to her grandchildren. She clutches her hands to her heart every time she imagines a young lost Percival and her crazy stupid friends trying to befriend him, but most of all she can imagine young Merlin’s smile, because it’s something that has never faded with maturity. Merlin has a magic smile which makes everybody exposed to it feel warm and fuzzy inside, it’s how he makes people love him. Everyone, it seemed then, except Arthur Pendragon.
Morgana often wishes the coming together of their original five had been as sweet and cute as Merlin’s fivesome, but there was no way she was ever going to beat Baby Buddies Merlin and Will, New Boy Lance, Playground Protector Gwaine and Little Lonely Percival. Unfortunately, she and Arthur had been stuck with one another from the start, and though they may want to kill each at times, there isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for the other. Morgana is adamant it’s the twin telepathy. Hurt one, and you hurt both. It had been the two of them versus the world, but then when they started primary school, they were put in different classes. It had been strange for a while, but it wasn’t as if they didn’t see each other around school and at home. In fact, it was a nice break from trying to rip each other’s hair out. Arthur had then met Leon in his class and Morgana had taken an immediate liking to Gwen in hers, as did Arthur when they both had their new friends round for tea. In fact, it was round that dinner table when Uther had wanted to meet their “new little friends” that Morgana could swear she fell in love with Leon, messy curled hair and sticky fingers notwithstanding. It wasn’t soon after that that their group expanded to include Gwen’s older brother Elyan, who although being a troublemaker, had no problem fitting in with the rest of them.
But she digresses. She had been thinking about how these two polar opposite circles of people impossibly ended up being known as “The Big Ten”. Of course, with Elyan leaving for university the year before them, the nine of them then adopted the name “The Fellowship of the Ring”, with Arthur and Merlin arguing over who got to be Gandalf and Will insisting that the two of them were more like Frodo and Sam. The way the two fives became ten was relatively simple: the rivalry. Merlin and Arthur were, and still are, very competitive people - and so whenever the opportunity arose to beat the other at something, they jumped at it. The others had gotten roped into this when Arthur and Merlin thought it fitting to choose “champions” for the competitions they themselves were rubbish at. For example, if it were a quiz in science, Merlin would play himself whereas Arthur would nominate Gwen. If it were a race in PE, Arthur would run himself whereas Merlin would nominate Lance. To the untrained eye, you would have thought they hated each other. Sometimes they would play five a side football, which was a terrifying experience for the entire student body, as the pitch tended to become more like a battlefield. And then one day, everything changed. Arthur and Merlin had been squaring up to one another (no surprises there) when Arthur challenged The Misfits to a Guitar Hero contest at the Pendragon house. Ever since that evening and Merlin’s Misfits had won in the face off between Merlin and Arthur (Arthur: 0 Merlin: 1, Morgana: 1 Gwaine: 0, Leon: 0 Percival: 1, Gwen: 1 Lance: 0, Elyan: 0 Will: 1) the ten of them had been inseparable.
Even now, all of them in different jobs and having split up when they had to go on the university and in Gwaine’s words “ew! Become actual adults!” they still were “The Big Ten”. She and Leon had starting dating when they were taking their A Levels, and had gone to the same university because they simply could not be away from each other. When Merlin and Arthur had done the same thing, you would have thought that they were shagging too. But no. Arthur spent his university life wallowing in his ‘unrequited’ love for Merlin (which he’ll insist was not the case, even though it was). Sure, there was a blowjob here and there for Arthur, but never a proper relationship. Merlin, however, spent two years with some wanker called Cedric he didn’t even like, obviously as a way of keeping his mind off his ‘unrequited’ love for Arthur (which he’ll insist was not the case, even though it was). Now they were both single, still gay and in love, and neither one of them had a fucking clue.
*****Morgana stormed into hers and Leon’s flat and slammed the door. “Grrrrr!”
“What’s the matter now, hun?” This was what Morgana loved about Leon, he could put up with her shit. She flung herself down on the sofa and crossed her arms in a huff. Leon came out of the kitchen, still clad in his “kiss the cook” apron, and put his arm around her. She sighed and babbled everything.
“Some bloke was flirting with Gwen at the pub, so Lance got all sulky, Arthur saw she was uncomfortable and then pretended to be her boyfriend and then Merlin got all sulky, and how any of them have managed to get through life so sadly lacking in any skills of perception whatsoever is a wonder beyond my understanding!” Leon rubbed his hand up and down her arm soothingly, and she laid her head on his shoulder still grumbling, “they’re all stupid and belong on a farm.” Leon threw his head back and roared with laughter, kissing her chastely on the cheek.
“We can’t all be as clever as you, dear. They’ll figure it out eventually.” Morgana smiles and kisses him back, sitting on his lap as she asks, “so, what’s for dinner, chef?”
*****
“What do I do Merlin? She’s got all these guys trailing after her and eventually she’s going to take one of them and I’m going to die alone.” Lance groaned as he and Merlin walked back to their flat from the pub.
“Well, the obvious suggestion would be that you ask her out before some other plonker does,” Merlin answers as they amble along the pavement in the semi-darkness.
“Merlin, if she had any feelings for me whatsoever, don’t you think she would have mentioned it by now?”
“Lance, Gwen is quite possibly the shyest person I have ever met, and she’s a complete romantic. If she does want to shag you then she’s probably waiting for you to make the move.” Lance shoved Merlin’s shoulder with his own, “Merlin, get your mind out of the bloody gutter - this isn’t about a shag, this is about love.” Merlin makes retching noises.
“Good Lord, I hope romantic isn’t contagious. You and Gwen are clearly showing symptoms of the late stages of the disease; you’ll have to get together for the good of the human race.” This time Lancelot punches him in the arm.
“Like you can talk - you were mooning over Arthur the whole time we were there, that eye sex was so hot it belonged in a porno.” Now it was Merlin’s turn to thump Lance in the shoulder. Having reached the door to their flat, Merlin pulled out his keys and turning them in the lock said to Lance, “that is a totally different situation.” The two of them walked into the flat and Merlin shut the door behind them, tossing the keys in a bowl his mother bought him as a house warming gift on top of the low bookshelf there.
“Come off it, you’ve got to have been in love with him for at least as long as I’ve been in love with Gwen.” Merlin sighed.
“The difference is that you have a chance with Gwen.”
“Pfft,” dismissed Lance, “you’re right, of course. If only Arthur were gay - oh hang on a minute, he is gay!”
“That doesn’t mean he fancies me! I came out when I was fifteen, I was always there for him to do his experimenting on, but no, when he came out he kissed a straight bloke at a party and nothing else was said!”
“First of all, you didn’t come out; Will and I found your porn stash. Second of all, that was four years ago.”
“What do you want to do for dinner?” Merlin asked, changing the subject.
“Chinese?” Merlin made a face. Lance loved Chinese food.
“Curry?” Curry was Merlin’s favourite.
“Fine.”
*****
“What do I do, Arthur? All these guys keep flirting with me but none of them are the one I want them to be.” Gwen groaned as she and Arthur walked back to their flat from the pub.
“Well, instead of complaining to me about it, you should just go ahead and make a move on him.”
“Arthur, if he wanted me in any shape or form, he would have asked me out by now.”
“Gwen, Lance has always been the biggest gentleman I have ever known. He’s probably being all noble and chivalrous by stepping aside and letting you be with other men while he sits in the shadows. If he fancies a fuck then he’s probably waiting for you to initiate it.” Gwen slapped him on the arm, “Arthur Pendragon, watch your mouth! I don’t just want to sleep with him, I love him.” Arthur wraps both arms around his middle with a groan of pain.
“I’m surrounded by disgusting romantics, I’m going to be sick.” Gwen gives him a good natured shove.
“And the way you feel about Merlin is totally different, I suppose? I thought his arse was going to have a hole in it, you were staring at it so hard.” Arthur steps on Gwen’s toes as he opens the door to their flat.
“It’s an arse, Gwen; it already has a hole in it. Besides, that’s different.” They both walk into the flat as Arthur hangs his keys on a personalised hook his father bought him for his birthday.
“Oh it’s different, is it? As if you haven’t been all cow eyed for Merlin for as long as I have for Lance.”
“At least you and Lance have a chance of getting together.”
“Yeah, it’s not like Merlin’s gay or anything.”
“I came out when I was eighteen because I kept having dreams about him. After that we went to uni together and he didn’t even look at me, he was too preoccupied with that cheating wanker, Cedric.”
“Arthur sweetheart, Cedric was two years ago and you didn’t come out, you drunkenly snogged Leon at your party.”
“So what do you want to eat?” He was starving and dinner seemed a good way to change the subject.
“Chinese?” Gwen asked hopefully - she loved Chinese food.
“Ummm, how about curry?” Arthur much preferred curry to Chinese.
“Just because I love you.”
*****
“Alright Lance, I’ve decided I’m going to do it.”
“Do what?” Lance mumbles through a mouthful of sandwich.
“I’m going the tell Arthur how I feel about him.” Lance practically chokes on his sandwich and starts going pink and coughing, and Merlin pats him on the back and pushes his own lemonade towards him (Lance has already guzzled his coke) which Lance takes gratefully and starts chugging down.
“You what? When? How? Why?” Lance asks in a rush as soon as he gets his breath back.
“You were right the other night, there’s no point hiding it and making myself miserable anymore. I don’t know what I’m going to say, but Arthur’s coming over tonight for takeaway-snack-movie night so I’ll tell him then.”
“Tell you what, I’ll make a deal with you. If you tell Arthur that you love him, I’ll ask Gwen out on a date.”
“Yes! Okay deal! You’ve said it now, you can’t take it back!” Lance sighed. This was going to be difficult.
*****
“Gwen, I’m going to go for it.”
“Go for what?” Gwen asks as she sips from her coffee.
“I’m telling Merlin I love him.” Gwen spit takes her coffee all over the table they’re sitting at, and Arthur grabs some napkins to mop it up.
“Never mind the mess, give me details! What are you going to say to him? Oh please do something sweet like shower him in rose petals!” Arthur grimaces.
“I don’t know, but I’m going over there tonight for takeaway-snack-movie night, I’ll work it out when I get there.”
“Oh you are so adorable; telling him on your traditional weekly date is perfect!”
“Please stop referring to it as our traditional weekly date.”
“But it is your traditional weekly date! The eight of us are meeting down the pub tonight, so you’ll be all alone,” she waggles her eyebrows suggestively at him, “you can have hot gay sex on the sofa. And then maybe I’ll get Lance completely rat-arsed and have my wicked way with him.”
“I dare you.”
*****
The atmosphere at the pub is loud, but in a good way, Morgana thinks. When she and Leon see the rest of their friends, it’s as if not a single thing has changed, and she almost has to fight with him in their race to hug the gang.
“Oof!” Gwaine says as he gets an armful of Morgana, just as a similar proclamation is issued from Percival as Leon leaps into his broad chest. Will looks around the room before asking, “no Merlin and Arthur?” whilst looking put out.
“We’ll still see them tomorrow for five a side footie,” Lance points out, “but it’s takeaway-snack-movie night tonight.” Gwen smiles into her drink, causing a curious and calculating look to appear on Lance’s face.
“They couldn’t miss it for just one night?” Gwaine asks, pulling a pouty expression that was almost identical to Will’s.
“It’s traditional. Besides, Arthur’s a very stubborn man when it comes to getting what he wants.” Gwen’s smile becomes a filthy grin.
“What are you hinting at, sister mine?” Elyan questions her with a raised eyebrow that looked exactly like their old biology teacher, Mr Gaius.
“She knows something,” Morgana says excitedly, boucing on the balls of her feet. “Gwen, you know something! Spill!” Gwen laughs.
“Well you know how Arthur has been in love with Merlin since like, forever?” The whole group emits a non-committal “yes” except for Lance, who just inhaled his beer through his nose and was now waving his hands around uselessly as if that would stop the burn.
“He what?!” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“Lance, where the hell have you been for the last decade?”
“Listening to Merlin complain about his undying love for Arthur, that’s where!”
Now it was Gwen’s turn to spit take in shock. “Oh, not again,” she muttered as she asked for a cloth to mop up the spill with.
“You both know something!” Morgana squealed with excitement, jumping up and down chanting a litany of “tellmetellmetellmetellme.”
“Gwen?” Lance asks, prodding her to tell her side of the story.
“No way, you first!” Gwen shouts indignantly.
“Merlin’s going to tell Arthur he loves him tonight.”
“But Arthur was going to do that tonight!”
Morgana wrapped her arms around them both, almost singing gleefully, “I told you two so, I told them so, I noticed everything first because I am the Queen of all of you, and now I only need to get you two together!”
“Morgana,” Gwen groans. She’s sick of everybody trying to get her and Lance together. If he wanted to go out with her, he would have asked already!
“Got your knickers in a bit of a twist there, mate?” Gwaine says as he nudges Lance, who is squirming uncomfortably in his chair.
“It’s because he lurrrrves her!” Morgana taunts, in her element.
“Morgs, stop it now, it’s embarrassing,” Gwen mutters, her face turning bright pink. Morgana grabs Lance by the shoulder and points at Gwen.
“See! Look! She’s blushing! She loves you!” Gwen hides her face in her hands. This evening was turning out to be a disaster, and now Lance was going to feel awkward around her all the time because he has to have worked it out by now.
“Ow!” Morgana yelps as she feels a large foot crush hers on the table.
“What’s the matter Morgs? Percival asks, concern etched in his face. From the corner of her eye Morgana can see Lance glaring at her and - so subtly it was barely perceptible - shaking his head.
“I stubbed my toe,” and wasn’t she the Queen of Deception, she even pouted as well.
“Awwww poor ickle Morgy,” Gwaine teases, earning himself a kick in the shin. At that moment, Morgana receives a text message and, her curiosity tickled, opens it.
From: Lance
Asking her out tomorrow. Don’t ruin it.
Morgana grins and, typing rapidly, sends a reply and smugly puts her phone back into the inner pocket of her coat. Lance’s phone buzzes.
From: Morgana
Took you long enough! I’m expecting nothing less than spectacularly sick worthy from you, sweetie pie.
Not even a minute later, Morgana receives another message.
From: Lance
Not another word out of you, fairy Puck. Thanks.
Morgana’s smile doesn’t fade the entire night.
*****
When he hears the familiar knock at the door, Merlin nearly jumps out of skin. Arthur is ten minutes early! And he knows Merlin is always late! Clad only in his jeans and still towel drying his thick, dark hair, Merlin walks to the door and yanks it open. “Curry’ll be here in about twenty minutes,” Merlin says by way of welcome, before turning around and walking to his bedroom, “enough time for me to get dressed!” Arthur is still standing at the door gaping like a damn fish, a packet of M&Ms dangling limply from one hand. Merlin shirtless, with wet hair and low slung jeans (hipbones! He could see hipbones!) was absolutely stunning. Water dripped from his hair and slid down a perfectly formed cheekbone, his slender pale body in gorgeous contrast to his glistening, soot black hair and beautiful bright blue eyes, not like his own less captivating pale blue ones. His nipples had started to pebble from the cold and with one arm raised to dry his hair, Merlin looked like he was striking a pose for a camera, and oh God, Arthur was half hard from that alone. Arthur shut the door behind him and went into the kitchen to pour himself a drink, putting the M&Ms next to him on the worktop. Five minutes later, when Arthur is leaning on the counter with a cold can of coke raised to his lips, Merlin strides into the room wearing a University of East Anglia hoodie.
“Merlin, isn’t that my hoodie?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, this one’s mine.”
“Merlin, you left yours on the bus two weeks ago.”
“You’re losing your mind, Pendragon,” Merlin mutters as he suddenly smirks at Arthur, whose stomach does somersaults, “why are you here so early?”
“I, um…” Arthur can’t think of anything to say. The truth was, he had been pacing his and Gwen’s flat whilst trying to think of what to say to Merlin, and had just left so he would stop panicking in his room. “I’m not early,” Arthur answer, trying his best to sound nonchalant.
“Yes you are! I said seve - are those M&Ms?” Merlin nearly squeals in excitement as he rushes over to where Arthur has placed the extra large bag.
“No, Merlin, it’s a bag of penis pasta masquerading as M&Ms,” Arthur deadpans, rolling his eyes. Unpertubed, Merlin carries on, “we can play the M&M game! We haven’t played the M&M game in aaaages!” Arthur laughs, loving how cute Merlin is when he gets excited over small things, and oh, he really has fallen hard.
*****
“So,” Gwaine starts, “sweepstakes on when Arthur and Merlin shag?”
“Probably doing it now,” answers Will, whilst the others laugh.
“How much are you willing to bet on that, Will?” Gwaine asks, pulling a pen and paper from seemingly nowhere.
“I’d put a tenner on it,” Will quips back as Gwaine starts drawing out a table with a row with each of their names in and columns titled, “amount” and “predicted time of shag”.
“No odds?” Leon says, peering over Gwaine’s shoulder.
“Odds are hard to determine in this game,” Gwaine replies, putting £10 and 6:55 in Will’s row, “we’ll say closest time wins, winner takes all.”
“Then that defeats the purpose of one person betting higher than the next. Someone could bet a penny or £100 and it wouldn’t affect their winnings.” Leon frowned.
“Oh yeah,” mumbled Gwaine, “then everyone puts £10 in the pot, then the winner, well, wins all of it.”
“That makes more sense,” Leon remarked, looking proud that he had managed to pick out a flaw in Gwaine’s betting game.
“And in the event of a tiebreaker?” Morgana asks, her interest drawn.
“Then they have to guess where they did it,” Percival suggests, grinning. Gwaine adds a “tiebreaker” column.
“I’m in,” Elyan raises his glass in recognition, “put me down for 7:45.”
“May I point out,” interrupts Lance, “that they’re not likely to be looking at the clock if they’re getting in each other’s pants?”
“I’ll call Arthur,” chirps up Gwen, pulling out her phone.
“And say what?” Will snorts, “Hi Arthur, just wondering if you could write down the exact time you nail Merlin so your pervert friends can make some money out of it.”
“I’ve got a plan,” Gwen says, getting up her contacts list.
“Wait a minute, sunshine,” Gwaine takes Gwen’s phone, “first everybody has to make a bet.”
After fifteen minutes of deliberating and deciding their times and amounts, the list is as follows:
Will - 6:55, kitchen
Gwaine - 7:00, living room floor
Elyan - 7:45, sofa
Lance - 9:10, Merlin’s bedroom
Gwen - 8:05, Merlin’s bedroom
Morgana - 7:50, Lance’s bedroom (Lance objected very loudly to this)
Leon - 7:30, kitchen
Percival - 8:00, against the wall between Lance’s and Merlin’s bedrooms (“Percival, you kinky bastard!”)
“Can I call Arthur now?” Gwen asks, exasperated.
“Call away my girl!” Gwaine shouts, as Gwen presses ‘call mobile’ and puts it on loudspeaker.
*****
The curry has just arrived when Arthur’s mobile phone rings. Merlin rolls his eyes, “I’ll got put all this onto plates while you answer that shall I?” Arthur chuckles as Merlin takes their dinner into the kitchen and Arthur answers the phone with a cheery “hello?”
“Arthur!” Gwen’s voice rattles through the phone.
“Hi Gwen, any reason for this call?”
“Actually I need you to do me a favour. You and Merlin aren’t fucking yet, are you?”
“Gwen! Of course we’re not! Do you really think I would be answering the phone if I was?” he pauses, “what do you mean, yet?!”
“Arthur, if he did so happen to return your love, you’d be at it like bunnies already.”
“Gwen!”
“Arthur, I need to you to listen to me.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Do you remember the dare you made me earlier?” Arthur thinks about it for a moment, and them remembers their conversation in the café and his joke that she should get Lance drunk.
“Yes.”
“Well, I want to see who gets laid first.” Arthur grins - he loves a competition, and this is one he is very happy to partake in. Then he remembers the declaration he needs to make and his likely rejection, and he is overcome with panic again (and maybe a tiny bit of lust at the idea of having sex with Merlin).
“Arthur, are you still with me?”
“Arthur, do you want a drink?” Merlin calls from the kitchen, diverting Arthur’s attention from the phone call.
“Yeah thanks, I’ll have another coke.” Receiving no reply from Merlin, Arthur puts the phone back to his ear.
“Arthur? Hello?” Gwen’s tinny voice asks in his ear.
“Yeah, sorry Gwen, I was talking to Merlin. You were saying about a race of some description?”
“Yes, a sex race.”
“I don’t know Gwen, I’m not sure if it’s likely -”
“Me neither. I’m just saying, in case we do, we can have some fun with it.” Arthur sighs.
“Alright.”
“Yay!” Gwen squeals down the line, “just make sure to remember to take a peek at the clock when you get the good stuff.”
“If, Gwen, if I get the good stuff.”
“Whatever. We’ll see you guys tomorrow!”
“Ok, Gwen. Bye.” Arthur hangs up the phone before Gwen babbles on about some other ridiculous idea.
“Who was that?” Merlin asks as he pads into the living room, two matching plates of curry in his hands.
“Just Gwen.”
“What did she want?”
“Um,” Arthur floundered for an excuse, “some help seducing a guy.”
“Oh.” Merlin sounds disappointed, and Arthur frowns.
“What’s the matter?”
“Just that…. Well, Lance was planning on asking her out. He’s been falling all over her for what feels like a century.” Arthur lets out a surprised laugh. “Arthur, what?” Merlin elbows him in the ribs.
“Well that makes Gwen’s seduction a hell of a lot easier!”
“What do you mean?”
“Merlin, I’ve been listening to her drivel about Lance’s perfect hair and Lance’s perfect eyes and Lance’s perfect body for bloody millennia, let alone a century.” Merlin tipped his head back and positively cackled, and Arthur guffawed in response (but seriously, that cackling? Merlin had to stop spending so much time with Morgana).
“You mean to say we’ve been putting up with them and their complaints when all this time they’ve fancied each other?”
“Yup.”
“What a pair of idiots.” Merlin laughed, whilst trying to stop from snorting his drink out through his nose.
“Absolutely,” Arthur agreed, “what’s the film for this week?”
“Avengers Assemble.”
“I knew there was a reason I hung around with you.”
*****
“There. Done.” Gwen put the phone away with a satisfied smirk.
“What’s this dare sister mine? What do you mean by ‘who gets laid first’?” Elyan’s looking at her with his ever so annoying but endearing I’m-very-concerned-and-protective-but-it’s-just-cos-I-love-you expression.
“Oh relax, Elyan,” Gwen chides, “Arthur just joked that I haven’t had sex in about a decade so I should just go get some random guy drunk and shag him senseless. It was a joke and neither of us meant anything by it, but now of course, it has at least given me an excuse to make him check the time.” Gwen’s eyes flash briefly to Lance’s, “not that I plan on doing that. Ever.”
*****
Curry finished, Merlin wastes no time in pausing the film (right in the middle of Iron Man and Thor’s fight as well!) and takes their plates to dump them in the sink, rushing back with the M&Ms in hand and looking like a child on Christmas morning.
“Shall I get a pen and paper then?” Arthur asks.
“Already got some.” Merlin answered, pointing to a pad and a Doctor Who pen on the coffee table.
“Right then. Are you ready to lose, Mr Emrys?”
“No more than you, Mr Pendragon.”
Merlin opens the packet and offers it to Arthur, who reaches into it and pulls out two M&Ms.
“Two browns. Excellent start,” Arthur remarks as he puts a point for himself in the ‘Arthur’ column already drawn out on the page. Merlin dips his hand into the bag.
“Two reds. Equally excellent,” Merlin retorts, putting a point in the ‘Merlin’ column.
The game carries on like that, Arthur winning then Merlin winning, then neither of them getting a ‘gay couple’ at all, then Merlin pulling ahead and Arthur catching up until Merlin is only one point ahead and there aren’t many M&M’s left.
“Match point,” Merlin says, smirking.
“Bring it on.”
They both put their hands in the bag and pull them out, the bag now empty and two M&Ms each enclosed within their fists.
“On the count of three?” Merlin asks.
“Alright. One. Two. Three.”
They both open their palms to reveal the M&Ms there. Arthur has a yellow and a blue. Merlin has a red and a blue.
“I win!” Merlin shouts, victorious, lifting his hand to his mouth to eat them. Arthur has a sudden flash of inspiration, and halts the hand’s journey on its way to Merlin’s mouth.
“Arthur?”
“Lay you palm out flat.” Merlin looks confused, but does as Arthur tells him. Pointing to the blue M&M, Arthur says, “let’s say that that one is you, Merlin,” he points to the red one, “and that one is Lance.”
“Arthur, where are you going with this?”
“Just trust me. Now,” he points to the blue M&M in his palm, “let’s say that this one is me, and this yellow one,” indicating the other M&M in his palm, “is Gwen. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we just take Gwen,” he takes the yellow M&M from his palm, “and put her here,” he drops the M&M into Merlin’s palm, “and take you,” he picks up the blue sweet from Merlin’s palm, “and put you here,” he concludes, placing the two blues together, “next to me.” Merlin just stares at him, mouth ever so slightly agape.
“What are you trying to say?” Arthur sighs.
“That I love you and I want to be with you. Through the language of M&Ms.” Merlin’s grin is blinding, but Arthur barely sees it before Merlin is launching himself into his lap, squeezing him tightly with all four of his limbs and nuzzling his face into neck.
“You prat,” Merlin laughs, “you beat me to it! I was going to compare us to Captain America and Iron Man. Except they resolved their differences by fixing a vessel full of people and we…. Well we played Guitar Hero.” Arthur pulls back so he can look Merlin in the eyes.
“You what?”
“I was going to tell that I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen, but I think your way was better.”
“Since you were fifteen?”
“Always.”
Arthur has to kiss him then, so he does, moving his hands to cup the back of Merlin’s head as he pulls him into a gentle kiss. Merlin fists the front of his shirt and moans softly, pushing his molten tongue between Arthur’s lips. They carry on like that for several minutes, Arthur leaning up into Merlin and running his hands all over his body, Merlin leaning down into Arthur clenching his hands in his gorgeous thick blond hair and moaning. After a while, Arthur pulls away, lips red and swollen, and Merlin chases after him like a starving man.
“I admit I was a little later than you.”
“hmmmm?” Merlin mumbles as he rests his head on Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur looks down at him, thinking he’s never seen anything more beautiful than a content Merlin.
“I started thinking about you in that way when I was seventeen.” Merlin starts to lay kisses along his collarbone, making a path up his neck.
“So you mean I could have had you that whole year to be your experiment until you came out at your eighteenth?”
“I didn’t want you to be my experiment. You meant more to me than that,” Arthur says sincerely, “besides, we had a whole three years at university we could been together, but then Cedric came along and I felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut.” Merlin looked up at him then with his heart in his eyes.
“I was trying to get over you. I had been hopelessly in love with you for three years after all.” Arthur smiled ruefully, pressing a kiss to Merlin’s forehead.
“We have been stupid, haven’t we Merlin?” Merlin starts tugging on the hem of Arthur’s shirt.
“I plan on making up for that.” Arthur smiles seductively in response, but then freezes. “Arthur, what’s the matter?” Merlin asks, concern and insecurity creeping into his voice. Arthur just laughs and starts shaking his head.
“It’s just… You do realise this makes Morgana right?”
“Oh no!” Merlin gasps in mock horror, “we can never be together! This is more tragic than Romeo and Juliet!” Arthur laughs out loud, tipping his head back, giving Merlin access to mouth at his throat, and his laugh chokes into a groan. Merlin pulls back suddenly and gets to his feet, holding out his hands. Arthur takes them and pulls himself off of the sofa, following Merlin’s lead towards the bedroom. Merlin starts kissing him hungrily, tugging his shirt, murmuring, “we’ve waited years for this. Let’s not linger a moment longer.” Arthur pulls off Merlin’s shirt.
“Yes.”
*****
“Merlin, what on earth are you playing at? That was an easy shot!” Will shouts as Merlin’s aim at the goal goes about a mile wide.
“My arse is sore.” Merlin quips back with a cheeky smirk.
“It’s official!” Gwaine yells, throwing his arms in the air, “after many painful years of complaining, they have finally had sex!” Merlin blushes whilst Arthur just laughs and slings an arm around his shoulders, his lovely pale eyes shining with mirth.
“Oh oh!” Gwen shouts, running up the field, “Arthur, did you look at the clock!” Merlin looks confused whilst Gwaine pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.
“You didn’t seriously seduce… anyone, did you?” Arthur looks concerned.
“Don’t be silly, that was just a ploy to get you to check the time. What was it?”
“Five to eight.”
“This calls for a tiebreaker!” Gwaine shouts with glee, “it’s slap bang in between Morgana and Percival’s bets!”
“Guys,” Merlin says suspiciously, “what did you do?” Leon slaps Merlin on the back,
“Sorry mate, but we had a bet on when you guys would get it on.”
“YOU WHAT?!” They scream in unison, making the others double over in laughter. “How have you decided to sort out a tiebreaker?” Arthur asks, half curious and half annoyed.
“Where’d you do it?” Elyan asks innocently.
“Oh you guys!” Arthur shouts, half laughing, whilst Merlin blushes even more fiercely.
“Well?” Morgana prods, “where?”
“Well…” Merlin starts, “we may have taken a few wrong turns and….”
“And?” Percival asks impatiently.
“We got the wrong bedroom.” Merlin mumbles into Arthur’s shoulder. Lance shouts in disgust “ew, Merlin!” at the same time Morgana squeals, “I win! I got it exactly right, yet again!” Percival groans, face in his hands.
“I was so close.”
“Merlin!” Lance storms up to them, looking Merlin furiously in the eye, “tell me you didn’t get anything on my sheets.” Merlin looks at his feet.
“We’ll clean them.”
“You are disgusting and a terrible friend.”
Later that evening Lance’s bed sheets are cleaned and some new red and yellow ones are sitting on the bed, with a note scrawled in Merlin’s messy handwriting, “for Gwen.”
*End*
Final notes: what do you reckon, bigger font easier to read or did it look better smaller?
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur minor Gwen/Lance and Morgana/Leon
Warnings: fluff! Crack! Modern AU!
Rating: R (for language and some sexy stuff)
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, if only for this series of fiction I'm currently working on
Word count: ~7,000
Summary: Merlin loves Arthur, Arthur loves Merlin. Gwen loves Lance, Lance loves Gwen. The problem is none of them have a sodding clue and it's really pissing Morgana off.
AN: please don't flame me, this fic is my baby. Servant-napped is not co-operating with me today and chapter 4 is being annoying, so I'm finally uploading this one! If you don't know what I'm talking (well, writing) about, then look on my first ever lj post here. There I have posted a challenge for anyone wanting to do their own M&M fic! Based on my M&M game, where you eat two M&Ms at a time. If you get two of different colours, they are a straight couple, and if you get two of the same colour, they are a gay couple. Sequel here.
Morgana despaired with them, she truly did. Their utter obliviousness was pissing her off to no end and quite frankly she needed to find new friends, because her current ones were doing her fucking head in. More specifically, Gwen, Lance, Merlin and Arthur were doing her fucking head in. The way they were dancing around each other would be cute if it hadn’t been going on for FAR TOO LONG. She and Arthur had grown up with Gwen, and for a while Morgana had always thought that Arthur and Gwen would make the perfect couple….. But then Arthur had drunkenly snogged Leon at his eighteenth birthday party. Leon, of course, had been a complete gentleman about the whole thing, and nothing had been said about it since. And now, four years later, Arthur was openly gay, fresh out of university, sexually inexperienced with men to a certain degree and arse over tit in love with his best friend, Merlin. Who is also gay and conveniently arse over tit in love with Arthur. The problem was, they would not get their act together and understand that they were meant for one another. And Gwen and Lance weren’t much better. In actual fact, they were a lot, lot worse because they pined ALL THE FUCKING TIME and it was just so sappy and depressing that she wanted to melt and throw herself off a building at the same time.
Merlin and Lance hadn’t joined their group of friends until secondary school. Lance and Merlin were practically joined at the hip, in the same way Arthur and Gwen had been inseparable. Looking back on themselves then, Morgana smiled. They had been like their own little family, because they had all been screwed up in some way by their real ones. Merlin’s dad had run out on him, as had Gwaine’s. Percival’s parents died in an Arson attack when he was young, Will’s mum was an alcoholic, Arthur and Morgana’s mother had died in childbirth (they were twins) and Uther? Uther was a pillock. Leon, Lance, Gwen and Elyan had had things alright, normal families, normal lives.
The way they had met was interesting to say at the least. Morgana, Arthur, Leon, Gwen and Elyan had already been friends beforehand, and with two of them being Pendragons, the five of them had gotten popular pretty quickly, and Arthur was like the leader of the group. Which did not do his ego any favours. At all. On the other hand, there were the “other” five, the parallel opposites to the five of them. Merlin, Lance, Will, Gwaine and Percival, who for some reason hated being called Percy or Perry or Perce or whatever variation of Percival anyone could find, were the misfits. And the leader of this group of misfits? It had to be Merlin. Merlin who, in retrospect, was probably joined at the hip to everyone in his group but in a slightly different way which made him so endearing to all of them. As far as she knew, Merlin and Will had known each other since birth, until Lance came into the picture when he moved to Camelot when they were about six years old. Merlin and Will had taken to Lance straight away, and the three of them had become the literal Snap, Crackle and Pop. They met Gwaine when chicken pox was going around in primary school, and both Lance and Will were off of school with it. Merlin, unfortunately, had procured the disease at the tender age of four and had to go into school alone. Merlin was the kind of child who attracted attention from bullies, but when Valiant pushed him over in the playground, it was Gwaine who came to his rescue. Which resulted in Valiant being pushed over and then Gwaine giving Merlin a hand up from the floor and introducing himself. Of course, Merlin felt he had to prove he wasn’t completely useless, so when Valiant stood up behind Gwaine to reach out and pull his hair, Merlin had hit him in the face. Merlin had been so proud to introduce his new detention buddy to Will and Lance when they came back, and so the threesome became a foursome. Percival was the latest addition to the group, whom the four friends met on their first day of secondary school. They’d had to play a game in their form time to get to know each other, but by the middle everyone had sorted themselves out into groups, except for Percival, who was sat alone in the corner of the room. Merlin’s Misfits had immediately gone over to him, Gwaine slinging an arm around his broad shoulders, Lance politely introducing himself and asking his name, Will making stupid faces and Merlin simply smiling warmly at him, which resulted in a large grin from Percival. Morgana loved this story and she swears she will be telling it to her grandchildren. She clutches her hands to her heart every time she imagines a young lost Percival and her crazy stupid friends trying to befriend him, but most of all she can imagine young Merlin’s smile, because it’s something that has never faded with maturity. Merlin has a magic smile which makes everybody exposed to it feel warm and fuzzy inside, it’s how he makes people love him. Everyone, it seemed then, except Arthur Pendragon.
Morgana often wishes the coming together of their original five had been as sweet and cute as Merlin’s fivesome, but there was no way she was ever going to beat Baby Buddies Merlin and Will, New Boy Lance, Playground Protector Gwaine and Little Lonely Percival. Unfortunately, she and Arthur had been stuck with one another from the start, and though they may want to kill each at times, there isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for the other. Morgana is adamant it’s the twin telepathy. Hurt one, and you hurt both. It had been the two of them versus the world, but then when they started primary school, they were put in different classes. It had been strange for a while, but it wasn’t as if they didn’t see each other around school and at home. In fact, it was a nice break from trying to rip each other’s hair out. Arthur had then met Leon in his class and Morgana had taken an immediate liking to Gwen in hers, as did Arthur when they both had their new friends round for tea. In fact, it was round that dinner table when Uther had wanted to meet their “new little friends” that Morgana could swear she fell in love with Leon, messy curled hair and sticky fingers notwithstanding. It wasn’t soon after that that their group expanded to include Gwen’s older brother Elyan, who although being a troublemaker, had no problem fitting in with the rest of them.
But she digresses. She had been thinking about how these two polar opposite circles of people impossibly ended up being known as “The Big Ten”. Of course, with Elyan leaving for university the year before them, the nine of them then adopted the name “The Fellowship of the Ring”, with Arthur and Merlin arguing over who got to be Gandalf and Will insisting that the two of them were more like Frodo and Sam. The way the two fives became ten was relatively simple: the rivalry. Merlin and Arthur were, and still are, very competitive people - and so whenever the opportunity arose to beat the other at something, they jumped at it. The others had gotten roped into this when Arthur and Merlin thought it fitting to choose “champions” for the competitions they themselves were rubbish at. For example, if it were a quiz in science, Merlin would play himself whereas Arthur would nominate Gwen. If it were a race in PE, Arthur would run himself whereas Merlin would nominate Lance. To the untrained eye, you would have thought they hated each other. Sometimes they would play five a side football, which was a terrifying experience for the entire student body, as the pitch tended to become more like a battlefield. And then one day, everything changed. Arthur and Merlin had been squaring up to one another (no surprises there) when Arthur challenged The Misfits to a Guitar Hero contest at the Pendragon house. Ever since that evening and Merlin’s Misfits had won in the face off between Merlin and Arthur (Arthur: 0 Merlin: 1, Morgana: 1 Gwaine: 0, Leon: 0 Percival: 1, Gwen: 1 Lance: 0, Elyan: 0 Will: 1) the ten of them had been inseparable.
Even now, all of them in different jobs and having split up when they had to go on the university and in Gwaine’s words “ew! Become actual adults!” they still were “The Big Ten”. She and Leon had starting dating when they were taking their A Levels, and had gone to the same university because they simply could not be away from each other. When Merlin and Arthur had done the same thing, you would have thought that they were shagging too. But no. Arthur spent his university life wallowing in his ‘unrequited’ love for Merlin (which he’ll insist was not the case, even though it was). Sure, there was a blowjob here and there for Arthur, but never a proper relationship. Merlin, however, spent two years with some wanker called Cedric he didn’t even like, obviously as a way of keeping his mind off his ‘unrequited’ love for Arthur (which he’ll insist was not the case, even though it was). Now they were both single, still gay and in love, and neither one of them had a fucking clue.
*****Morgana stormed into hers and Leon’s flat and slammed the door. “Grrrrr!”
“What’s the matter now, hun?” This was what Morgana loved about Leon, he could put up with her shit. She flung herself down on the sofa and crossed her arms in a huff. Leon came out of the kitchen, still clad in his “kiss the cook” apron, and put his arm around her. She sighed and babbled everything.
“Some bloke was flirting with Gwen at the pub, so Lance got all sulky, Arthur saw she was uncomfortable and then pretended to be her boyfriend and then Merlin got all sulky, and how any of them have managed to get through life so sadly lacking in any skills of perception whatsoever is a wonder beyond my understanding!” Leon rubbed his hand up and down her arm soothingly, and she laid her head on his shoulder still grumbling, “they’re all stupid and belong on a farm.” Leon threw his head back and roared with laughter, kissing her chastely on the cheek.
“We can’t all be as clever as you, dear. They’ll figure it out eventually.” Morgana smiles and kisses him back, sitting on his lap as she asks, “so, what’s for dinner, chef?”
*****
“What do I do Merlin? She’s got all these guys trailing after her and eventually she’s going to take one of them and I’m going to die alone.” Lance groaned as he and Merlin walked back to their flat from the pub.
“Well, the obvious suggestion would be that you ask her out before some other plonker does,” Merlin answers as they amble along the pavement in the semi-darkness.
“Merlin, if she had any feelings for me whatsoever, don’t you think she would have mentioned it by now?”
“Lance, Gwen is quite possibly the shyest person I have ever met, and she’s a complete romantic. If she does want to shag you then she’s probably waiting for you to make the move.” Lance shoved Merlin’s shoulder with his own, “Merlin, get your mind out of the bloody gutter - this isn’t about a shag, this is about love.” Merlin makes retching noises.
“Good Lord, I hope romantic isn’t contagious. You and Gwen are clearly showing symptoms of the late stages of the disease; you’ll have to get together for the good of the human race.” This time Lancelot punches him in the arm.
“Like you can talk - you were mooning over Arthur the whole time we were there, that eye sex was so hot it belonged in a porno.” Now it was Merlin’s turn to thump Lance in the shoulder. Having reached the door to their flat, Merlin pulled out his keys and turning them in the lock said to Lance, “that is a totally different situation.” The two of them walked into the flat and Merlin shut the door behind them, tossing the keys in a bowl his mother bought him as a house warming gift on top of the low bookshelf there.
“Come off it, you’ve got to have been in love with him for at least as long as I’ve been in love with Gwen.” Merlin sighed.
“The difference is that you have a chance with Gwen.”
“Pfft,” dismissed Lance, “you’re right, of course. If only Arthur were gay - oh hang on a minute, he is gay!”
“That doesn’t mean he fancies me! I came out when I was fifteen, I was always there for him to do his experimenting on, but no, when he came out he kissed a straight bloke at a party and nothing else was said!”
“First of all, you didn’t come out; Will and I found your porn stash. Second of all, that was four years ago.”
“What do you want to do for dinner?” Merlin asked, changing the subject.
“Chinese?” Merlin made a face. Lance loved Chinese food.
“Curry?” Curry was Merlin’s favourite.
“Fine.”
*****
“What do I do, Arthur? All these guys keep flirting with me but none of them are the one I want them to be.” Gwen groaned as she and Arthur walked back to their flat from the pub.
“Well, instead of complaining to me about it, you should just go ahead and make a move on him.”
“Arthur, if he wanted me in any shape or form, he would have asked me out by now.”
“Gwen, Lance has always been the biggest gentleman I have ever known. He’s probably being all noble and chivalrous by stepping aside and letting you be with other men while he sits in the shadows. If he fancies a fuck then he’s probably waiting for you to initiate it.” Gwen slapped him on the arm, “Arthur Pendragon, watch your mouth! I don’t just want to sleep with him, I love him.” Arthur wraps both arms around his middle with a groan of pain.
“I’m surrounded by disgusting romantics, I’m going to be sick.” Gwen gives him a good natured shove.
“And the way you feel about Merlin is totally different, I suppose? I thought his arse was going to have a hole in it, you were staring at it so hard.” Arthur steps on Gwen’s toes as he opens the door to their flat.
“It’s an arse, Gwen; it already has a hole in it. Besides, that’s different.” They both walk into the flat as Arthur hangs his keys on a personalised hook his father bought him for his birthday.
“Oh it’s different, is it? As if you haven’t been all cow eyed for Merlin for as long as I have for Lance.”
“At least you and Lance have a chance of getting together.”
“Yeah, it’s not like Merlin’s gay or anything.”
“I came out when I was eighteen because I kept having dreams about him. After that we went to uni together and he didn’t even look at me, he was too preoccupied with that cheating wanker, Cedric.”
“Arthur sweetheart, Cedric was two years ago and you didn’t come out, you drunkenly snogged Leon at your party.”
“So what do you want to eat?” He was starving and dinner seemed a good way to change the subject.
“Chinese?” Gwen asked hopefully - she loved Chinese food.
“Ummm, how about curry?” Arthur much preferred curry to Chinese.
“Just because I love you.”
*****
“Alright Lance, I’ve decided I’m going to do it.”
“Do what?” Lance mumbles through a mouthful of sandwich.
“I’m going the tell Arthur how I feel about him.” Lance practically chokes on his sandwich and starts going pink and coughing, and Merlin pats him on the back and pushes his own lemonade towards him (Lance has already guzzled his coke) which Lance takes gratefully and starts chugging down.
“You what? When? How? Why?” Lance asks in a rush as soon as he gets his breath back.
“You were right the other night, there’s no point hiding it and making myself miserable anymore. I don’t know what I’m going to say, but Arthur’s coming over tonight for takeaway-snack-movie night so I’ll tell him then.”
“Tell you what, I’ll make a deal with you. If you tell Arthur that you love him, I’ll ask Gwen out on a date.”
“Yes! Okay deal! You’ve said it now, you can’t take it back!” Lance sighed. This was going to be difficult.
*****
“Gwen, I’m going to go for it.”
“Go for what?” Gwen asks as she sips from her coffee.
“I’m telling Merlin I love him.” Gwen spit takes her coffee all over the table they’re sitting at, and Arthur grabs some napkins to mop it up.
“Never mind the mess, give me details! What are you going to say to him? Oh please do something sweet like shower him in rose petals!” Arthur grimaces.
“I don’t know, but I’m going over there tonight for takeaway-snack-movie night, I’ll work it out when I get there.”
“Oh you are so adorable; telling him on your traditional weekly date is perfect!”
“Please stop referring to it as our traditional weekly date.”
“But it is your traditional weekly date! The eight of us are meeting down the pub tonight, so you’ll be all alone,” she waggles her eyebrows suggestively at him, “you can have hot gay sex on the sofa. And then maybe I’ll get Lance completely rat-arsed and have my wicked way with him.”
“I dare you.”
*****
The atmosphere at the pub is loud, but in a good way, Morgana thinks. When she and Leon see the rest of their friends, it’s as if not a single thing has changed, and she almost has to fight with him in their race to hug the gang.
“Oof!” Gwaine says as he gets an armful of Morgana, just as a similar proclamation is issued from Percival as Leon leaps into his broad chest. Will looks around the room before asking, “no Merlin and Arthur?” whilst looking put out.
“We’ll still see them tomorrow for five a side footie,” Lance points out, “but it’s takeaway-snack-movie night tonight.” Gwen smiles into her drink, causing a curious and calculating look to appear on Lance’s face.
“They couldn’t miss it for just one night?” Gwaine asks, pulling a pouty expression that was almost identical to Will’s.
“It’s traditional. Besides, Arthur’s a very stubborn man when it comes to getting what he wants.” Gwen’s smile becomes a filthy grin.
“What are you hinting at, sister mine?” Elyan questions her with a raised eyebrow that looked exactly like their old biology teacher, Mr Gaius.
“She knows something,” Morgana says excitedly, boucing on the balls of her feet. “Gwen, you know something! Spill!” Gwen laughs.
“Well you know how Arthur has been in love with Merlin since like, forever?” The whole group emits a non-committal “yes” except for Lance, who just inhaled his beer through his nose and was now waving his hands around uselessly as if that would stop the burn.
“He what?!” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“Lance, where the hell have you been for the last decade?”
“Listening to Merlin complain about his undying love for Arthur, that’s where!”
Now it was Gwen’s turn to spit take in shock. “Oh, not again,” she muttered as she asked for a cloth to mop up the spill with.
“You both know something!” Morgana squealed with excitement, jumping up and down chanting a litany of “tellmetellmetellmetellme.”
“Gwen?” Lance asks, prodding her to tell her side of the story.
“No way, you first!” Gwen shouts indignantly.
“Merlin’s going to tell Arthur he loves him tonight.”
“But Arthur was going to do that tonight!”
Morgana wrapped her arms around them both, almost singing gleefully, “I told you two so, I told them so, I noticed everything first because I am the Queen of all of you, and now I only need to get you two together!”
“Morgana,” Gwen groans. She’s sick of everybody trying to get her and Lance together. If he wanted to go out with her, he would have asked already!
“Got your knickers in a bit of a twist there, mate?” Gwaine says as he nudges Lance, who is squirming uncomfortably in his chair.
“It’s because he lurrrrves her!” Morgana taunts, in her element.
“Morgs, stop it now, it’s embarrassing,” Gwen mutters, her face turning bright pink. Morgana grabs Lance by the shoulder and points at Gwen.
“See! Look! She’s blushing! She loves you!” Gwen hides her face in her hands. This evening was turning out to be a disaster, and now Lance was going to feel awkward around her all the time because he has to have worked it out by now.
“Ow!” Morgana yelps as she feels a large foot crush hers on the table.
“What’s the matter Morgs? Percival asks, concern etched in his face. From the corner of her eye Morgana can see Lance glaring at her and - so subtly it was barely perceptible - shaking his head.
“I stubbed my toe,” and wasn’t she the Queen of Deception, she even pouted as well.
“Awwww poor ickle Morgy,” Gwaine teases, earning himself a kick in the shin. At that moment, Morgana receives a text message and, her curiosity tickled, opens it.
From: Lance
Asking her out tomorrow. Don’t ruin it.
Morgana grins and, typing rapidly, sends a reply and smugly puts her phone back into the inner pocket of her coat. Lance’s phone buzzes.
From: Morgana
Took you long enough! I’m expecting nothing less than spectacularly sick worthy from you, sweetie pie.
Not even a minute later, Morgana receives another message.
From: Lance
Not another word out of you, fairy Puck. Thanks.
Morgana’s smile doesn’t fade the entire night.
*****
When he hears the familiar knock at the door, Merlin nearly jumps out of skin. Arthur is ten minutes early! And he knows Merlin is always late! Clad only in his jeans and still towel drying his thick, dark hair, Merlin walks to the door and yanks it open. “Curry’ll be here in about twenty minutes,” Merlin says by way of welcome, before turning around and walking to his bedroom, “enough time for me to get dressed!” Arthur is still standing at the door gaping like a damn fish, a packet of M&Ms dangling limply from one hand. Merlin shirtless, with wet hair and low slung jeans (hipbones! He could see hipbones!) was absolutely stunning. Water dripped from his hair and slid down a perfectly formed cheekbone, his slender pale body in gorgeous contrast to his glistening, soot black hair and beautiful bright blue eyes, not like his own less captivating pale blue ones. His nipples had started to pebble from the cold and with one arm raised to dry his hair, Merlin looked like he was striking a pose for a camera, and oh God, Arthur was half hard from that alone. Arthur shut the door behind him and went into the kitchen to pour himself a drink, putting the M&Ms next to him on the worktop. Five minutes later, when Arthur is leaning on the counter with a cold can of coke raised to his lips, Merlin strides into the room wearing a University of East Anglia hoodie.
“Merlin, isn’t that my hoodie?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, this one’s mine.”
“Merlin, you left yours on the bus two weeks ago.”
“You’re losing your mind, Pendragon,” Merlin mutters as he suddenly smirks at Arthur, whose stomach does somersaults, “why are you here so early?”
“I, um…” Arthur can’t think of anything to say. The truth was, he had been pacing his and Gwen’s flat whilst trying to think of what to say to Merlin, and had just left so he would stop panicking in his room. “I’m not early,” Arthur answer, trying his best to sound nonchalant.
“Yes you are! I said seve - are those M&Ms?” Merlin nearly squeals in excitement as he rushes over to where Arthur has placed the extra large bag.
“No, Merlin, it’s a bag of penis pasta masquerading as M&Ms,” Arthur deadpans, rolling his eyes. Unpertubed, Merlin carries on, “we can play the M&M game! We haven’t played the M&M game in aaaages!” Arthur laughs, loving how cute Merlin is when he gets excited over small things, and oh, he really has fallen hard.
*****
“So,” Gwaine starts, “sweepstakes on when Arthur and Merlin shag?”
“Probably doing it now,” answers Will, whilst the others laugh.
“How much are you willing to bet on that, Will?” Gwaine asks, pulling a pen and paper from seemingly nowhere.
“I’d put a tenner on it,” Will quips back as Gwaine starts drawing out a table with a row with each of their names in and columns titled, “amount” and “predicted time of shag”.
“No odds?” Leon says, peering over Gwaine’s shoulder.
“Odds are hard to determine in this game,” Gwaine replies, putting £10 and 6:55 in Will’s row, “we’ll say closest time wins, winner takes all.”
“Then that defeats the purpose of one person betting higher than the next. Someone could bet a penny or £100 and it wouldn’t affect their winnings.” Leon frowned.
“Oh yeah,” mumbled Gwaine, “then everyone puts £10 in the pot, then the winner, well, wins all of it.”
“That makes more sense,” Leon remarked, looking proud that he had managed to pick out a flaw in Gwaine’s betting game.
“And in the event of a tiebreaker?” Morgana asks, her interest drawn.
“Then they have to guess where they did it,” Percival suggests, grinning. Gwaine adds a “tiebreaker” column.
“I’m in,” Elyan raises his glass in recognition, “put me down for 7:45.”
“May I point out,” interrupts Lance, “that they’re not likely to be looking at the clock if they’re getting in each other’s pants?”
“I’ll call Arthur,” chirps up Gwen, pulling out her phone.
“And say what?” Will snorts, “Hi Arthur, just wondering if you could write down the exact time you nail Merlin so your pervert friends can make some money out of it.”
“I’ve got a plan,” Gwen says, getting up her contacts list.
“Wait a minute, sunshine,” Gwaine takes Gwen’s phone, “first everybody has to make a bet.”
After fifteen minutes of deliberating and deciding their times and amounts, the list is as follows:
Will - 6:55, kitchen
Gwaine - 7:00, living room floor
Elyan - 7:45, sofa
Lance - 9:10, Merlin’s bedroom
Gwen - 8:05, Merlin’s bedroom
Morgana - 7:50, Lance’s bedroom (Lance objected very loudly to this)
Leon - 7:30, kitchen
Percival - 8:00, against the wall between Lance’s and Merlin’s bedrooms (“Percival, you kinky bastard!”)
“Can I call Arthur now?” Gwen asks, exasperated.
“Call away my girl!” Gwaine shouts, as Gwen presses ‘call mobile’ and puts it on loudspeaker.
*****
The curry has just arrived when Arthur’s mobile phone rings. Merlin rolls his eyes, “I’ll got put all this onto plates while you answer that shall I?” Arthur chuckles as Merlin takes their dinner into the kitchen and Arthur answers the phone with a cheery “hello?”
“Arthur!” Gwen’s voice rattles through the phone.
“Hi Gwen, any reason for this call?”
“Actually I need you to do me a favour. You and Merlin aren’t fucking yet, are you?”
“Gwen! Of course we’re not! Do you really think I would be answering the phone if I was?” he pauses, “what do you mean, yet?!”
“Arthur, if he did so happen to return your love, you’d be at it like bunnies already.”
“Gwen!”
“Arthur, I need to you to listen to me.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Do you remember the dare you made me earlier?” Arthur thinks about it for a moment, and them remembers their conversation in the café and his joke that she should get Lance drunk.
“Yes.”
“Well, I want to see who gets laid first.” Arthur grins - he loves a competition, and this is one he is very happy to partake in. Then he remembers the declaration he needs to make and his likely rejection, and he is overcome with panic again (and maybe a tiny bit of lust at the idea of having sex with Merlin).
“Arthur, are you still with me?”
“Arthur, do you want a drink?” Merlin calls from the kitchen, diverting Arthur’s attention from the phone call.
“Yeah thanks, I’ll have another coke.” Receiving no reply from Merlin, Arthur puts the phone back to his ear.
“Arthur? Hello?” Gwen’s tinny voice asks in his ear.
“Yeah, sorry Gwen, I was talking to Merlin. You were saying about a race of some description?”
“Yes, a sex race.”
“I don’t know Gwen, I’m not sure if it’s likely -”
“Me neither. I’m just saying, in case we do, we can have some fun with it.” Arthur sighs.
“Alright.”
“Yay!” Gwen squeals down the line, “just make sure to remember to take a peek at the clock when you get the good stuff.”
“If, Gwen, if I get the good stuff.”
“Whatever. We’ll see you guys tomorrow!”
“Ok, Gwen. Bye.” Arthur hangs up the phone before Gwen babbles on about some other ridiculous idea.
“Who was that?” Merlin asks as he pads into the living room, two matching plates of curry in his hands.
“Just Gwen.”
“What did she want?”
“Um,” Arthur floundered for an excuse, “some help seducing a guy.”
“Oh.” Merlin sounds disappointed, and Arthur frowns.
“What’s the matter?”
“Just that…. Well, Lance was planning on asking her out. He’s been falling all over her for what feels like a century.” Arthur lets out a surprised laugh. “Arthur, what?” Merlin elbows him in the ribs.
“Well that makes Gwen’s seduction a hell of a lot easier!”
“What do you mean?”
“Merlin, I’ve been listening to her drivel about Lance’s perfect hair and Lance’s perfect eyes and Lance’s perfect body for bloody millennia, let alone a century.” Merlin tipped his head back and positively cackled, and Arthur guffawed in response (but seriously, that cackling? Merlin had to stop spending so much time with Morgana).
“You mean to say we’ve been putting up with them and their complaints when all this time they’ve fancied each other?”
“Yup.”
“What a pair of idiots.” Merlin laughed, whilst trying to stop from snorting his drink out through his nose.
“Absolutely,” Arthur agreed, “what’s the film for this week?”
“Avengers Assemble.”
“I knew there was a reason I hung around with you.”
*****
“There. Done.” Gwen put the phone away with a satisfied smirk.
“What’s this dare sister mine? What do you mean by ‘who gets laid first’?” Elyan’s looking at her with his ever so annoying but endearing I’m-very-concerned-and-protective-but-it’s-just-cos-I-love-you expression.
“Oh relax, Elyan,” Gwen chides, “Arthur just joked that I haven’t had sex in about a decade so I should just go get some random guy drunk and shag him senseless. It was a joke and neither of us meant anything by it, but now of course, it has at least given me an excuse to make him check the time.” Gwen’s eyes flash briefly to Lance’s, “not that I plan on doing that. Ever.”
*****
Curry finished, Merlin wastes no time in pausing the film (right in the middle of Iron Man and Thor’s fight as well!) and takes their plates to dump them in the sink, rushing back with the M&Ms in hand and looking like a child on Christmas morning.
“Shall I get a pen and paper then?” Arthur asks.
“Already got some.” Merlin answered, pointing to a pad and a Doctor Who pen on the coffee table.
“Right then. Are you ready to lose, Mr Emrys?”
“No more than you, Mr Pendragon.”
Merlin opens the packet and offers it to Arthur, who reaches into it and pulls out two M&Ms.
“Two browns. Excellent start,” Arthur remarks as he puts a point for himself in the ‘Arthur’ column already drawn out on the page. Merlin dips his hand into the bag.
“Two reds. Equally excellent,” Merlin retorts, putting a point in the ‘Merlin’ column.
The game carries on like that, Arthur winning then Merlin winning, then neither of them getting a ‘gay couple’ at all, then Merlin pulling ahead and Arthur catching up until Merlin is only one point ahead and there aren’t many M&M’s left.
“Match point,” Merlin says, smirking.
“Bring it on.”
They both put their hands in the bag and pull them out, the bag now empty and two M&Ms each enclosed within their fists.
“On the count of three?” Merlin asks.
“Alright. One. Two. Three.”
They both open their palms to reveal the M&Ms there. Arthur has a yellow and a blue. Merlin has a red and a blue.
“I win!” Merlin shouts, victorious, lifting his hand to his mouth to eat them. Arthur has a sudden flash of inspiration, and halts the hand’s journey on its way to Merlin’s mouth.
“Arthur?”
“Lay you palm out flat.” Merlin looks confused, but does as Arthur tells him. Pointing to the blue M&M, Arthur says, “let’s say that that one is you, Merlin,” he points to the red one, “and that one is Lance.”
“Arthur, where are you going with this?”
“Just trust me. Now,” he points to the blue M&M in his palm, “let’s say that this one is me, and this yellow one,” indicating the other M&M in his palm, “is Gwen. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we just take Gwen,” he takes the yellow M&M from his palm, “and put her here,” he drops the M&M into Merlin’s palm, “and take you,” he picks up the blue sweet from Merlin’s palm, “and put you here,” he concludes, placing the two blues together, “next to me.” Merlin just stares at him, mouth ever so slightly agape.
“What are you trying to say?” Arthur sighs.
“That I love you and I want to be with you. Through the language of M&Ms.” Merlin’s grin is blinding, but Arthur barely sees it before Merlin is launching himself into his lap, squeezing him tightly with all four of his limbs and nuzzling his face into neck.
“You prat,” Merlin laughs, “you beat me to it! I was going to compare us to Captain America and Iron Man. Except they resolved their differences by fixing a vessel full of people and we…. Well we played Guitar Hero.” Arthur pulls back so he can look Merlin in the eyes.
“You what?”
“I was going to tell that I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen, but I think your way was better.”
“Since you were fifteen?”
“Always.”
Arthur has to kiss him then, so he does, moving his hands to cup the back of Merlin’s head as he pulls him into a gentle kiss. Merlin fists the front of his shirt and moans softly, pushing his molten tongue between Arthur’s lips. They carry on like that for several minutes, Arthur leaning up into Merlin and running his hands all over his body, Merlin leaning down into Arthur clenching his hands in his gorgeous thick blond hair and moaning. After a while, Arthur pulls away, lips red and swollen, and Merlin chases after him like a starving man.
“I admit I was a little later than you.”
“hmmmm?” Merlin mumbles as he rests his head on Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur looks down at him, thinking he’s never seen anything more beautiful than a content Merlin.
“I started thinking about you in that way when I was seventeen.” Merlin starts to lay kisses along his collarbone, making a path up his neck.
“So you mean I could have had you that whole year to be your experiment until you came out at your eighteenth?”
“I didn’t want you to be my experiment. You meant more to me than that,” Arthur says sincerely, “besides, we had a whole three years at university we could been together, but then Cedric came along and I felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut.” Merlin looked up at him then with his heart in his eyes.
“I was trying to get over you. I had been hopelessly in love with you for three years after all.” Arthur smiled ruefully, pressing a kiss to Merlin’s forehead.
“We have been stupid, haven’t we Merlin?” Merlin starts tugging on the hem of Arthur’s shirt.
“I plan on making up for that.” Arthur smiles seductively in response, but then freezes. “Arthur, what’s the matter?” Merlin asks, concern and insecurity creeping into his voice. Arthur just laughs and starts shaking his head.
“It’s just… You do realise this makes Morgana right?”
“Oh no!” Merlin gasps in mock horror, “we can never be together! This is more tragic than Romeo and Juliet!” Arthur laughs out loud, tipping his head back, giving Merlin access to mouth at his throat, and his laugh chokes into a groan. Merlin pulls back suddenly and gets to his feet, holding out his hands. Arthur takes them and pulls himself off of the sofa, following Merlin’s lead towards the bedroom. Merlin starts kissing him hungrily, tugging his shirt, murmuring, “we’ve waited years for this. Let’s not linger a moment longer.” Arthur pulls off Merlin’s shirt.
“Yes.”
*****
“Merlin, what on earth are you playing at? That was an easy shot!” Will shouts as Merlin’s aim at the goal goes about a mile wide.
“My arse is sore.” Merlin quips back with a cheeky smirk.
“It’s official!” Gwaine yells, throwing his arms in the air, “after many painful years of complaining, they have finally had sex!” Merlin blushes whilst Arthur just laughs and slings an arm around his shoulders, his lovely pale eyes shining with mirth.
“Oh oh!” Gwen shouts, running up the field, “Arthur, did you look at the clock!” Merlin looks confused whilst Gwaine pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.
“You didn’t seriously seduce… anyone, did you?” Arthur looks concerned.
“Don’t be silly, that was just a ploy to get you to check the time. What was it?”
“Five to eight.”
“This calls for a tiebreaker!” Gwaine shouts with glee, “it’s slap bang in between Morgana and Percival’s bets!”
“Guys,” Merlin says suspiciously, “what did you do?” Leon slaps Merlin on the back,
“Sorry mate, but we had a bet on when you guys would get it on.”
“YOU WHAT?!” They scream in unison, making the others double over in laughter. “How have you decided to sort out a tiebreaker?” Arthur asks, half curious and half annoyed.
“Where’d you do it?” Elyan asks innocently.
“Oh you guys!” Arthur shouts, half laughing, whilst Merlin blushes even more fiercely.
“Well?” Morgana prods, “where?”
“Well…” Merlin starts, “we may have taken a few wrong turns and….”
“And?” Percival asks impatiently.
“We got the wrong bedroom.” Merlin mumbles into Arthur’s shoulder. Lance shouts in disgust “ew, Merlin!” at the same time Morgana squeals, “I win! I got it exactly right, yet again!” Percival groans, face in his hands.
“I was so close.”
“Merlin!” Lance storms up to them, looking Merlin furiously in the eye, “tell me you didn’t get anything on my sheets.” Merlin looks at his feet.
“We’ll clean them.”
“You are disgusting and a terrible friend.”
Later that evening Lance’s bed sheets are cleaned and some new red and yellow ones are sitting on the bed, with a note scrawled in Merlin’s messy handwriting, “for Gwen.”
*End*
Final notes: what do you reckon, bigger font easier to read or did it look better smaller?