Oh, The Futility In The Face Of Science
I suppose I am in a nihilistic mood today.
I feel like the more I understand physics, the more logic-based I become.
I feel my emotions seep from me as I view all machinations of nature as cause and effect, actions and consequences.
I lack the ability to believe in a purpose any longer, and I realize that in garnering knowledge, I give up my naivete, my trust in self.
Then again, I only view this change as negative for that is how society has conditioned me.
I find myself unable to have arguments with people, for I question the societal belief system on which they base their logic, and therefore, their argument.
Why should one not murder? I have yet to find the logic. I know I have been conditioned in morals to make myself believe that it is wrong, but for simple survival, what is it?
I suppose naturally we would want to extend the gene pool.
Monogamy has been the most recent thorn in my side, though.
WHY should I do the opposite of what nature has intended? It has been scientifically proven that we only love for 4 years. After that, we must consent to friendship and companionship, or live in pain.
Yes, I can live in friendship and in marriage for my life, but I do not see a reason to be sexually monogamous. It simply is illogical.
Yet everybody and their societies, their "morals" and inadequate understanding of the truth.
I feel us intellectuals fight a losing battle. (Note: I do not use "intellectuals" as a synonym for "intelligent people". You may have no education and still be an intellectual, the question is if you are brave enough to accept the burden.)
It is sheer numbers that break us. We are forced to deviate from what we know to be right, because these sheep have trampled us. Still, I will remain a pillar and protest above the bleating.
Oh, dear, I have lost all humanity, haven't I? I have lost all faith in people. We are imperfect machines. We have, in our imperfect intelligence, caused our destruction.
Now to sit and wait.
I feel some comfort in being able to face my fate, and the fate of humanity. No change is bad, it is simply the transfer of energy. We, of course, are conditioned to crave the continuation of ourselves, to fear annihilation. I suppose for me the next step is to face the fact that death may take me at any point.
What is death, anyways? We all know that matter and energy is conserved, so what is dying? We still exist when you consider the universe.
My concern, consequently, is the death of the universe.
Yes, I said it. At this moment we are accelerating to a lonely, energy-less death. The universe will expand forever into a infinite void of darkness and cold. (About 2.5 Kelvin, if I properly remember.)
Then again, we can consider that nothing changes at all. We may transfer mass to energy and back, but in the end, all is conserved, everything is static outside of the chaos. It is a kind of poetry, don't you think?
Though I have a human drive to at least understand, if not disprove, this lonely fate of ours.
Face it, I don't want us all to die cold and alone.
Dark energy is my current enemy, for until I can understand it, I must fear it. If I cannot disprove it, at least I can comprehend it and accept it.
I cannot accept an unknown fate. I would like to lose consciousness knowing what will become of eternity.
I suppose my belief set grates against this expanding universe, for then energy is not conserved. I just hate that.
I guess there is some human left in me, after all.
Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or anything. I'm not being a glum-bum or anything.
I am really coming to terms that not everything is sunshine and daises, like we were taught. No, everything is a slow interchange, it is all science. Even our emotions are science. We are such small beings to think we rule science. We cannot comprehend what molded us.
We may think life as a struggle against death, for we see death as an evil. I now see life as a state, kind of like solid or liquid. Death is simply another state.
BUT: we cannot submit ourselves to this fate. What is the purpose of being conscious if we take the meaning out of life? Certainly we can understand that life has no meaning, BUT we can give it a purpose. This is the human ability. We can accept that joy serves nothing to the universe, that our actions are inconsequential, and at the same time build up a smaller pseudo-reality where we can enjoy our faculties. Life would be boring if everybody was sitting around waiting to die.
For even though nothing changes, and we cannot alter any courses, we can affect the NOW, and the HOW. The outside may be calm, but the inside can be ruled by the utterance of a word, or the spark of the idea.
To quote a great man:
"We must become the change we want to see in the world."
I feel like the more I understand physics, the more logic-based I become.
I feel my emotions seep from me as I view all machinations of nature as cause and effect, actions and consequences.
I lack the ability to believe in a purpose any longer, and I realize that in garnering knowledge, I give up my naivete, my trust in self.
Then again, I only view this change as negative for that is how society has conditioned me.
I find myself unable to have arguments with people, for I question the societal belief system on which they base their logic, and therefore, their argument.
Why should one not murder? I have yet to find the logic. I know I have been conditioned in morals to make myself believe that it is wrong, but for simple survival, what is it?
I suppose naturally we would want to extend the gene pool.
Monogamy has been the most recent thorn in my side, though.
WHY should I do the opposite of what nature has intended? It has been scientifically proven that we only love for 4 years. After that, we must consent to friendship and companionship, or live in pain.
Yes, I can live in friendship and in marriage for my life, but I do not see a reason to be sexually monogamous. It simply is illogical.
Yet everybody and their societies, their "morals" and inadequate understanding of the truth.
I feel us intellectuals fight a losing battle. (Note: I do not use "intellectuals" as a synonym for "intelligent people". You may have no education and still be an intellectual, the question is if you are brave enough to accept the burden.)
It is sheer numbers that break us. We are forced to deviate from what we know to be right, because these sheep have trampled us. Still, I will remain a pillar and protest above the bleating.
Oh, dear, I have lost all humanity, haven't I? I have lost all faith in people. We are imperfect machines. We have, in our imperfect intelligence, caused our destruction.
Now to sit and wait.
I feel some comfort in being able to face my fate, and the fate of humanity. No change is bad, it is simply the transfer of energy. We, of course, are conditioned to crave the continuation of ourselves, to fear annihilation. I suppose for me the next step is to face the fact that death may take me at any point.
What is death, anyways? We all know that matter and energy is conserved, so what is dying? We still exist when you consider the universe.
My concern, consequently, is the death of the universe.
Yes, I said it. At this moment we are accelerating to a lonely, energy-less death. The universe will expand forever into a infinite void of darkness and cold. (About 2.5 Kelvin, if I properly remember.)
Then again, we can consider that nothing changes at all. We may transfer mass to energy and back, but in the end, all is conserved, everything is static outside of the chaos. It is a kind of poetry, don't you think?
Though I have a human drive to at least understand, if not disprove, this lonely fate of ours.
Face it, I don't want us all to die cold and alone.
Dark energy is my current enemy, for until I can understand it, I must fear it. If I cannot disprove it, at least I can comprehend it and accept it.
I cannot accept an unknown fate. I would like to lose consciousness knowing what will become of eternity.
I suppose my belief set grates against this expanding universe, for then energy is not conserved. I just hate that.
I guess there is some human left in me, after all.
Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or anything. I'm not being a glum-bum or anything.
I am really coming to terms that not everything is sunshine and daises, like we were taught. No, everything is a slow interchange, it is all science. Even our emotions are science. We are such small beings to think we rule science. We cannot comprehend what molded us.
We may think life as a struggle against death, for we see death as an evil. I now see life as a state, kind of like solid or liquid. Death is simply another state.
BUT: we cannot submit ourselves to this fate. What is the purpose of being conscious if we take the meaning out of life? Certainly we can understand that life has no meaning, BUT we can give it a purpose. This is the human ability. We can accept that joy serves nothing to the universe, that our actions are inconsequential, and at the same time build up a smaller pseudo-reality where we can enjoy our faculties. Life would be boring if everybody was sitting around waiting to die.
For even though nothing changes, and we cannot alter any courses, we can affect the NOW, and the HOW. The outside may be calm, but the inside can be ruled by the utterance of a word, or the spark of the idea.
To quote a great man:
"We must become the change we want to see in the world."