Fukc ti.
I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going to be anyone's second choice or easy hook-up. Tired of it all. All it's really doing is making me feel worthless and cheap. I let it happen before and I let it happen again and I'll be damned if I let it happen a third time (actually fourth). I've learned that I can't be "Friend's with extra shit" I get emotionally attached and in the end I get nothing. My heart breaks a little more each time. And my self esteem is reduced to the same level that it was in grade-school...which was pretty fucking low. All I want is a relationship and to be loved to find good company, laugh all that good shite, and to love in return. And I wonder if I'll ever get that. Not in a "OHHH I'll never ever find someone EVER" emo whine thing. But I'm seriously considering that I just don't get anything that I want. I don't think I'm a bad person...just a sap and a sucker. Maybe that's what they see and that's why they felt like they could just...well I don't know. I put myself in those situations though. I was just hoping that something could come from it with each person though... And my self-esteem and self-worth crumbles to the ground when I realize that they only wanted "certain" things from me.
Whatever I'll get over it.
Whatever I'll get over it.