Fic: Conphen!Verse : The Night Before
AN: Conphen!Verse Tie-in : The night before the morning after. A companion piece, I guess you'd call it, to "I'll keep you safe" - or more specifically, the events that leads up to that, from Connor's point of view. It's longer than a drabble, but it is part of my Conphen!Verse series! :3 rated 16+ for references to adult situations.
Connor knows a number of things about himself. He knows he's bisexual, that he's a romantic, that he's not unattractive but that his geekiness overwhelms that physical attraction for most people, and he knows that he sometimes wants sex. But Connor also knows that he could never be happy without commitment, a relationship built on romance, in addition to sex. He needs emotional attachment, can't go beyond that first spike of desire without immediately thinking of romantic, silly, couple's type things. One night stands are most certainly not his thing. His first - and only, so far- time has shown him this. He's come to not expect others to want the same - from him at least.
Connor has seen Stephen looking; he's looked at the man as well. They've barely spoken, despite having quite a number of courses together, but there's a spark there, on Connor's side at least, beyond just attraction… and the fact that Stephen's attracted to him, geeky Connor Temple, is amazing enough. Connor knows Stephen's been looking… but he also knows a few things about Stephen. Not in a stalker-ish kind of way, of course, but the man's popular with both the ladies and the blokes, and there's substance to the rumors that circulate about Stephen Hart. The heartbreaker, the one night stand man, the utterly gorgeous man with those piercing blue eyes and that sexy smirk. Stephen's not one for commitment. And that's why Connor tells himself to not return the looks. He doesn't want to fall in love, and have his heart broken, all in one night. Sex doesn't make up for that, even if it's enough for Stephen… and he knows he's assuming but it's hard not to.
Connor's surprised when Stephen shows up at the pub one night. He's a little tipsy, not really drunk yet even though he is, in fact, a lightweight. But it's enough to loosen his grip on his words, and he finds himself flirting back. Stephen joins him, matching him drink for drink and soon enough Connor's well past simply 'drunk' - sloshed might be more the word for it, now. They've been flirting and Connor's somewhere along the lines come to the realization that despite himself he's already head over heels for the man. And the alcohol's lowered his inhibitions just enough… he's accepted that, even if Stephen doesn't return his feelings, he Connor Temple still feels how he does, and he might as well get something out of all of this, rather than nothing… even if it isn't all that he wants.
So when Stephen asks him over for 'coffee' - and Connor is just experienced and well-read enough to know what's up - he chooses to ignore that part of his brain which says that he shouldn't. Stephen is trouble but not because he's a commitment-phobe - which he probably is - but because he's gotten under Connor's skin and into his heart and Connor knows tomorrow morning will hurt when Stephen rejects the love Connor obviously feels for him. Love is more than Stephen wants, surely, especially with him, but Connor wants - needs something, and that something is Stephen, for one night at the very least.
Connor wakes up earlier than he usually does, in Stephen's bed, curled against the other man, skin-to skin. He's got a killer hangover and a headache like an army's marching in his brain, but the fear of rejection sets in… and Connor tries to be quiet as he slips out of bed, dresses, grabs his phone and leaves the flat. He doesn't want to see that look in Stephen's eyes like the look in his first's: the look that says that he, Connor, is an idiot for expecting anything other than commitment-free sex.
He's gone before he can catch the hurt look on Stephen's face, before he can realize that his assumptions are all wrong, at least when it comes to Stephen and Connor. He doesn't realize that the other man is in love with him too, but that Stephen didn't - doesn't - know how to tell him.
Connor doesn't see Stephen again after that, not until he meets his Professor and finds out Stephen's the man's lab assistant and life gets awkward really quickly.
Connor knows a number of things about himself. He knows he's bisexual, that he's a romantic, that he's not unattractive but that his geekiness overwhelms that physical attraction for most people, and he knows that he sometimes wants sex. But Connor also knows that he could never be happy without commitment, a relationship built on romance, in addition to sex. He needs emotional attachment, can't go beyond that first spike of desire without immediately thinking of romantic, silly, couple's type things. One night stands are most certainly not his thing. His first - and only, so far- time has shown him this. He's come to not expect others to want the same - from him at least.
Connor has seen Stephen looking; he's looked at the man as well. They've barely spoken, despite having quite a number of courses together, but there's a spark there, on Connor's side at least, beyond just attraction… and the fact that Stephen's attracted to him, geeky Connor Temple, is amazing enough. Connor knows Stephen's been looking… but he also knows a few things about Stephen. Not in a stalker-ish kind of way, of course, but the man's popular with both the ladies and the blokes, and there's substance to the rumors that circulate about Stephen Hart. The heartbreaker, the one night stand man, the utterly gorgeous man with those piercing blue eyes and that sexy smirk. Stephen's not one for commitment. And that's why Connor tells himself to not return the looks. He doesn't want to fall in love, and have his heart broken, all in one night. Sex doesn't make up for that, even if it's enough for Stephen… and he knows he's assuming but it's hard not to.
Connor's surprised when Stephen shows up at the pub one night. He's a little tipsy, not really drunk yet even though he is, in fact, a lightweight. But it's enough to loosen his grip on his words, and he finds himself flirting back. Stephen joins him, matching him drink for drink and soon enough Connor's well past simply 'drunk' - sloshed might be more the word for it, now. They've been flirting and Connor's somewhere along the lines come to the realization that despite himself he's already head over heels for the man. And the alcohol's lowered his inhibitions just enough… he's accepted that, even if Stephen doesn't return his feelings, he Connor Temple still feels how he does, and he might as well get something out of all of this, rather than nothing… even if it isn't all that he wants.
So when Stephen asks him over for 'coffee' - and Connor is just experienced and well-read enough to know what's up - he chooses to ignore that part of his brain which says that he shouldn't. Stephen is trouble but not because he's a commitment-phobe - which he probably is - but because he's gotten under Connor's skin and into his heart and Connor knows tomorrow morning will hurt when Stephen rejects the love Connor obviously feels for him. Love is more than Stephen wants, surely, especially with him, but Connor wants - needs something, and that something is Stephen, for one night at the very least.
Connor wakes up earlier than he usually does, in Stephen's bed, curled against the other man, skin-to skin. He's got a killer hangover and a headache like an army's marching in his brain, but the fear of rejection sets in… and Connor tries to be quiet as he slips out of bed, dresses, grabs his phone and leaves the flat. He doesn't want to see that look in Stephen's eyes like the look in his first's: the look that says that he, Connor, is an idiot for expecting anything other than commitment-free sex.
He's gone before he can catch the hurt look on Stephen's face, before he can realize that his assumptions are all wrong, at least when it comes to Stephen and Connor. He doesn't realize that the other man is in love with him too, but that Stephen didn't - doesn't - know how to tell him.
Connor doesn't see Stephen again after that, not until he meets his Professor and finds out Stephen's the man's lab assistant and life gets awkward really quickly.