Conphen!Verse Set 2
Conphen!Verse Drabble Set #2 : 11-21
Drabble #11 : On his own
AN: jumping backwards again to that angsty point in time in which Stephen is turning more and more to Helen, even over Connor, though he does love Connor he feels betrayed, and it's blinded him to the truth more than a little. Anyways, Connor angsts alone.
He couldn't let anyone else know how miserable he was. They didn't need another reason to push Stephen away, as much as he wished he could rely on Abby when fear and worry and hurt threatened to overwhelm him.
Stephen wouldn't believe him that Helen was dangerous. Cutter wouldn't believe him that Stephen was in danger.
Connor was on his own in this. He couldn't even pretend for Caroline anymore.
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Drabble #12 : Trouble
AN: Was inspired to jump forwards with this 'verse and drabbles to the finale of S2 of primeval. Leads up to the fixit!
Connor glanced back as he followed Abby, Jenny and Caroline away from the building. The sunlight was harsh on their eyes, but that wasn't why he felt antsy.
"Cutter's still in there." Connor murmered to Abby, touching Rex"s head gently where he lay in her arms. Abby bit her lip.
"Do you think…?"
"I'll be right back." He told her. After the argument with Cutter, Connor had defended his professor, and Stephen had shouted at him, before leaving. He hadn't seen him since. Leek had let slip about Helen, Cutter was still inside, and Stephen was missing. Where Helen was, he had a feeling in his gut that he would find his boyfriend and their friend.
Connor had a bad feeling about this. He darted away from the others, opened the hatch and climbing back inside Leek's building, shutting the hatch after him. It was dark in the passage. He took a few steadying breaths and then took off at a run.
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Drabble #13: Savior
AN: I realized I’d never directly addressed Connor-saves-Stephen in a drabble, so here ya go. Sort of. Basically. Well you know he obviously saves him but anyways.
“Cutter!” Connor ran down the hallway, skidding to a halt at the sight of the professor, who knelt in front of a door with his head in his arms, braced against the metal. Cutter turned slightly, and his eyes were red. “No.” Connor breathed, panic overwhelming him. “Stephen- is he?…”
“The idiot’s locked himself in there with them.” Cutter said hoarsely.
Connor stumbled forwards.
“Don’t look.”
Connor didn’t listen to Cutter, and peered through the window. At that moment, a scream filled the air from the other side; Connor’s eyes widened.
“He’s alive! Cutter, he’s alive! We - we’ve gotta get ‘im outta there!” Connor yelled, nudging the man with his foot.
“What?!”
“I - what do I do?!” Connor scrambled to the broken control box, looking at the professor, panic etched into his features.
Another scream from the other side of the door made Cutter scramble to his feet as well.
“Stephen! Just - just stay alive!” Cutter called. Stephen was bleeding, but sent a startled look to the door before evading the claws of a raptor.
Connor opened the control box with shaking hands and reconnected the wires one by one with cramping fingers. He had to save Stephen.
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Drabble #14 : Hospital
The hospital room was quiet but for a steady beeping. Connor sat down in the chair by the bed and stared at Stephen's face, pale against the pillows and sheets. His hair had been shaved along one side, a scar neatly stitched that reached from his eyebrow to his scalp. There was an IV in his wrist and tubes in his nose providing oxygen.
Connor remembered how Stephen had looked, blood all over… now there were clean stiches and sterile white plasters over most of Stephen's unconscious body and not a speck of blood to be seen.
And yet, Connor knew, that while invisible to him now, the internal bleeding was still an issue, up until yesterday. Hence why Stephen was in the ICU. The doctor said Stephen would wake up soon. It didn't feel like it.
Connor sat in the quiet, cold room and watched the machine, reassuring himself that Stephen was still alive, his heart still beating steadily.
Guilt settled. This was his fault.
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Drabble #15 : A friend's care
AN: This is between 'hospital' and 'alive', and explains why Connor isn't there in 'alive'. Continued in 'thanks, abbs'.
'He'll wake up soon' had turned out to be 'he'll wake up within the next few days, and while Connor'd stayed the whole first day and night after Stephen's surgery, Abby eventually dragged him to her flat for some much-needed sleep.
He hadn't slept well in days, and he had thought it would be difficult to drop off, what with Stephen still unconscious and no knowing whether he would be A-okay when he finally awoke - or when that would be.
However, as soon as he lay down on Abby's sofa, Connor found himself drifting off into a deep slumber. A twinge of anxiousness nearly roused him, but exhaustion won out.
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Drabble #16 : Thanks, Abbs
AN: Takes place between 'hospital' and 'alive' (sort of around the Ic time of 'alive'), and contiues from 'a friend's care'. Continues in 'anxiety'
There was a sheet draped over him, from his shoulders to his feet, when he awoke. He was curled on his side, nearly falling off of the sofa. It was mid afternoon of the next day, and Connor could hear Abby in the kitchen by the sounds of cabinets banging lightly closed and draws sliding. He rubbed sleep dust out of his eyes and sat up, glancing immediately at his mobile, sat innocuously on the little table nearby.
Before Connor could reach for it, Abby entered carrying a tray. He tried to peek at what she'd brought, somewhat surprised that she wasn't making him get food for himself on his own.
"You slept through dinner and breakfast, I figured you'd probably be starving." She told him, smiling gently as she put the tray down. His stomach rumbled in agreement.
"Thanks, Abbs." He told her sincerely. He didn't know what he would do without her.
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Drabble #17 : Alive
An: Jumping forwards again to after Stephen wakes up in hospital. Yes, Stephen, you do indeed have a lot of apologizing to do. :P From his pov rather than Connor's, this time. mild angst...
When he woke, he was alone. Stephen was quick to realize he was in a hospital room, and quick to display his displeasure with the oxygen tubes in his nose.
He thought Connor would be here… But Stephen had driven him away. He hadn't expected to live, had expected to sacrifice himself for them. He'd seen Connor's face appear at the window, saw the desperation and fear in those dark eyes. He'd tried to avoid the creatures, sudden hope reminding him that he didn't want to die: he still had to apologize to Connor.
His last sight before pain had barraged his senses and he had blacked out had been Connor's face in the window, tears in his eyes.
He had thought that was goodbye.
Maybe it was, despite that he was alive.
He had been horrible to Connor, and he deserved it if the younger man didn't want to see him again.
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Drabble #18 : Anxiety
An: takes place after 'alive' and continues in Connor's POV from 'thanks, abbs'.
Connor was jittery on the drive to hospital, a combination of coffee and lack of sleep - despite a full night's rest - that had him unfortunately wired. On top of that he was anxious and worried and unsure.
He hadn't been in the room when Stephen woke - the image of his boyfriend broken and bleeding flashed through his mind and Connor shoved it away, hands clenching on the seat of Abby's car. Stephen was all right, and awake, and apparently wanted to see him.
Connor wanted to, as well... but he wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with the mixed emotions he associated with Stephen now. Could he forgive Stephen, for being so easily duped by Helen - for throwing away their relationship over that woman's crazy ideas? Could he forgive him for the harsh words that both knew weren't true? Could he forgive him for beign willign to sacrifice himself for them all?!
But there was also guilt, because Connor had hesitated too long, had momentarily blanked in the face of what threatened his boyfriend in that room, and he nearly hadn't gotten the door open in time for the SF's to run in, guns blazing, and save Stephen. Connor's hesitation had nearly cost the other man his life.
There were a million other things that part of Connor's brain blamed Stephen or Helen or Cutter for, and there were just as many another part of his brain blamed on himself. He was afraid it was too complicated. But, Connor was stubborn and this was so worth it. He wasn't one to give up, not without trying. It was hard to sort it all out, but Connor knew he still loved the other man, and still wanted to be with him. He had to concentrate on that.
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Drabble #19 : Alright
"I'm sorry." The words could never be enough, would never fully express how utterly sorry Stephen was.
And yet Connor looked at him, lying in the hospital bed, lucky to be alive at all, and did not refuse to accept the apology. He did not demand, did not push. He took the apology the same as he had taken the cruel words Stephen had spouted without thought or care.
"It's alright." Connor said, but his tone was bland and his expression was haunted, and both of them knew it wasn't true.
Stephen cursed his injuries, cursedhis foolishness, cursed Helen. He was not good with words, at all; if he could only hug Connor, hold him gently and kiss him softly and show him how sorry he was…
He could not form the words that could convince Connor that he had not meant the harsh, cutting things he had said, or that he truly was in love with him.
Stephen had ruined everything, and he had lost Connor's love.
So the tracker was surprised when Connor came to his hospital room one day, and kissed him lightly on the lips, expressing everything he felt on his face without trying.
"I am so, so sorry, Connor." Stephen said. This time, unbelievably, Connor managed a small smile, which reached his eyes, and nodded.
"It's alright." And this time they knew it, while not yet completely truthful, would be so in time.
"I love you." Stephen told him, trying to put everything he felt into those 3 little words. Connor kissed his lips, and the tip of his nose.
"Me too."
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Drabble #20: Blame
AN: This drabble takes place after ‘Alive’ and ‘Alright’, maybe a few days later. Things are still rocky, and everyone’s blaming themselves. Hoenstly, I’d personally just blame Helen, but y’know, Stephen was a bit in the wrong too… and Connor’s such a sweety, but he’s a silly boy. :P
“It’s my fault you’re in hospital.” Connor said softly; he didn’t think Stephen was awake, and the room was dark. And he knew it sounded crazy, to blame himself, but… he couldn’t help but blame himself. The logic just didn’t connect, didn’t stop him from feeling unbearably guilty looking at the other man, pale and swathed in plasters as, lying in that bed.
He was understandably surprised when Stephen spoke into the darkness, the man’s bandaged hand gripping his lightly, but firmly.
“You mean it’s thanks to you.” Connor flinched away, but Stephen used what strength he had to hang on to his hand. The younger man reluctantly sat back down in his chair. “I didn’t mean it like you think, Conn. It’s thanks to you that I’m not dead, that in a few weeks I’ll be up and about on crutches, rather than months or not at all. I’m alive, and I’m not missing any limbs, and it’s all thanks to you.”
Connor thought that maybe he could actually believe what Stephen was saying.
“And Conn… Don’t blame yourself. I shouldn’t have been such an arse to you - you were right all along, and I yelled at you and accused you of horrible things.”
“Don’t - you… you’ve already apologized. I forgave you. I love you.”
Stephen sighed.
“Conn…”
“No, no. You said some mean things, but I didn’t try to stop you, I didn’t… I shouldn’t have let you run back to Helen, I should’ve-” Stephen made the monumental effort to pull Connor down to his level, pulling him forwards and kissing him firmly to quiet the increasingly desperate-sounding protests.
“I love you Connor. None of this is your fault.”
It would take time, but hopefully things would get back to some semblance of normality sooner than later.
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Drabble #21 : Threats
"Stephen." He turned around on his crutches to face Abby.
"If you ever hurt him again, I'll kill you." She threatened, the glare making it obvious that she wasn't joking.
"I know." He couldn't promise that he wouldn't; there were going to be misunderstandings and he knew he wasn't the best with communicating clearly. There were going to be times he hurt Connor, and the pain of that knowledge was overwhelming. "I don't want to. Ever again." He said quietly.
Her gaze softened a little.
"Go on; make sure he knows without a doubt that you love him. Because he definitely loves you." She told him. Stephen nodded.
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Drabble #11 : On his own
AN: jumping backwards again to that angsty point in time in which Stephen is turning more and more to Helen, even over Connor, though he does love Connor he feels betrayed, and it's blinded him to the truth more than a little. Anyways, Connor angsts alone.
He couldn't let anyone else know how miserable he was. They didn't need another reason to push Stephen away, as much as he wished he could rely on Abby when fear and worry and hurt threatened to overwhelm him.
Stephen wouldn't believe him that Helen was dangerous. Cutter wouldn't believe him that Stephen was in danger.
Connor was on his own in this. He couldn't even pretend for Caroline anymore.
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Drabble #12 : Trouble
AN: Was inspired to jump forwards with this 'verse and drabbles to the finale of S2 of primeval. Leads up to the fixit!
Connor glanced back as he followed Abby, Jenny and Caroline away from the building. The sunlight was harsh on their eyes, but that wasn't why he felt antsy.
"Cutter's still in there." Connor murmered to Abby, touching Rex"s head gently where he lay in her arms. Abby bit her lip.
"Do you think…?"
"I'll be right back." He told her. After the argument with Cutter, Connor had defended his professor, and Stephen had shouted at him, before leaving. He hadn't seen him since. Leek had let slip about Helen, Cutter was still inside, and Stephen was missing. Where Helen was, he had a feeling in his gut that he would find his boyfriend and their friend.
Connor had a bad feeling about this. He darted away from the others, opened the hatch and climbing back inside Leek's building, shutting the hatch after him. It was dark in the passage. He took a few steadying breaths and then took off at a run.
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Drabble #13: Savior
AN: I realized I’d never directly addressed Connor-saves-Stephen in a drabble, so here ya go. Sort of. Basically. Well you know he obviously saves him but anyways.
“Cutter!” Connor ran down the hallway, skidding to a halt at the sight of the professor, who knelt in front of a door with his head in his arms, braced against the metal. Cutter turned slightly, and his eyes were red. “No.” Connor breathed, panic overwhelming him. “Stephen- is he?…”
“The idiot’s locked himself in there with them.” Cutter said hoarsely.
Connor stumbled forwards.
“Don’t look.”
Connor didn’t listen to Cutter, and peered through the window. At that moment, a scream filled the air from the other side; Connor’s eyes widened.
“He’s alive! Cutter, he’s alive! We - we’ve gotta get ‘im outta there!” Connor yelled, nudging the man with his foot.
“What?!”
“I - what do I do?!” Connor scrambled to the broken control box, looking at the professor, panic etched into his features.
Another scream from the other side of the door made Cutter scramble to his feet as well.
“Stephen! Just - just stay alive!” Cutter called. Stephen was bleeding, but sent a startled look to the door before evading the claws of a raptor.
Connor opened the control box with shaking hands and reconnected the wires one by one with cramping fingers. He had to save Stephen.
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Drabble #14 : Hospital
The hospital room was quiet but for a steady beeping. Connor sat down in the chair by the bed and stared at Stephen's face, pale against the pillows and sheets. His hair had been shaved along one side, a scar neatly stitched that reached from his eyebrow to his scalp. There was an IV in his wrist and tubes in his nose providing oxygen.
Connor remembered how Stephen had looked, blood all over… now there were clean stiches and sterile white plasters over most of Stephen's unconscious body and not a speck of blood to be seen.
And yet, Connor knew, that while invisible to him now, the internal bleeding was still an issue, up until yesterday. Hence why Stephen was in the ICU. The doctor said Stephen would wake up soon. It didn't feel like it.
Connor sat in the quiet, cold room and watched the machine, reassuring himself that Stephen was still alive, his heart still beating steadily.
Guilt settled. This was his fault.
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Drabble #15 : A friend's care
AN: This is between 'hospital' and 'alive', and explains why Connor isn't there in 'alive'. Continued in 'thanks, abbs'.
'He'll wake up soon' had turned out to be 'he'll wake up within the next few days, and while Connor'd stayed the whole first day and night after Stephen's surgery, Abby eventually dragged him to her flat for some much-needed sleep.
He hadn't slept well in days, and he had thought it would be difficult to drop off, what with Stephen still unconscious and no knowing whether he would be A-okay when he finally awoke - or when that would be.
However, as soon as he lay down on Abby's sofa, Connor found himself drifting off into a deep slumber. A twinge of anxiousness nearly roused him, but exhaustion won out.
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Drabble #16 : Thanks, Abbs
AN: Takes place between 'hospital' and 'alive' (sort of around the Ic time of 'alive'), and contiues from 'a friend's care'. Continues in 'anxiety'
There was a sheet draped over him, from his shoulders to his feet, when he awoke. He was curled on his side, nearly falling off of the sofa. It was mid afternoon of the next day, and Connor could hear Abby in the kitchen by the sounds of cabinets banging lightly closed and draws sliding. He rubbed sleep dust out of his eyes and sat up, glancing immediately at his mobile, sat innocuously on the little table nearby.
Before Connor could reach for it, Abby entered carrying a tray. He tried to peek at what she'd brought, somewhat surprised that she wasn't making him get food for himself on his own.
"You slept through dinner and breakfast, I figured you'd probably be starving." She told him, smiling gently as she put the tray down. His stomach rumbled in agreement.
"Thanks, Abbs." He told her sincerely. He didn't know what he would do without her.
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Drabble #17 : Alive
An: Jumping forwards again to after Stephen wakes up in hospital. Yes, Stephen, you do indeed have a lot of apologizing to do. :P From his pov rather than Connor's, this time. mild angst...
When he woke, he was alone. Stephen was quick to realize he was in a hospital room, and quick to display his displeasure with the oxygen tubes in his nose.
He thought Connor would be here… But Stephen had driven him away. He hadn't expected to live, had expected to sacrifice himself for them. He'd seen Connor's face appear at the window, saw the desperation and fear in those dark eyes. He'd tried to avoid the creatures, sudden hope reminding him that he didn't want to die: he still had to apologize to Connor.
His last sight before pain had barraged his senses and he had blacked out had been Connor's face in the window, tears in his eyes.
He had thought that was goodbye.
Maybe it was, despite that he was alive.
He had been horrible to Connor, and he deserved it if the younger man didn't want to see him again.
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Drabble #18 : Anxiety
An: takes place after 'alive' and continues in Connor's POV from 'thanks, abbs'.
Connor was jittery on the drive to hospital, a combination of coffee and lack of sleep - despite a full night's rest - that had him unfortunately wired. On top of that he was anxious and worried and unsure.
He hadn't been in the room when Stephen woke - the image of his boyfriend broken and bleeding flashed through his mind and Connor shoved it away, hands clenching on the seat of Abby's car. Stephen was all right, and awake, and apparently wanted to see him.
Connor wanted to, as well... but he wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with the mixed emotions he associated with Stephen now. Could he forgive Stephen, for being so easily duped by Helen - for throwing away their relationship over that woman's crazy ideas? Could he forgive him for the harsh words that both knew weren't true? Could he forgive him for beign willign to sacrifice himself for them all?!
But there was also guilt, because Connor had hesitated too long, had momentarily blanked in the face of what threatened his boyfriend in that room, and he nearly hadn't gotten the door open in time for the SF's to run in, guns blazing, and save Stephen. Connor's hesitation had nearly cost the other man his life.
There were a million other things that part of Connor's brain blamed Stephen or Helen or Cutter for, and there were just as many another part of his brain blamed on himself. He was afraid it was too complicated. But, Connor was stubborn and this was so worth it. He wasn't one to give up, not without trying. It was hard to sort it all out, but Connor knew he still loved the other man, and still wanted to be with him. He had to concentrate on that.
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Drabble #19 : Alright
"I'm sorry." The words could never be enough, would never fully express how utterly sorry Stephen was.
And yet Connor looked at him, lying in the hospital bed, lucky to be alive at all, and did not refuse to accept the apology. He did not demand, did not push. He took the apology the same as he had taken the cruel words Stephen had spouted without thought or care.
"It's alright." Connor said, but his tone was bland and his expression was haunted, and both of them knew it wasn't true.
Stephen cursed his injuries, cursedhis foolishness, cursed Helen. He was not good with words, at all; if he could only hug Connor, hold him gently and kiss him softly and show him how sorry he was…
He could not form the words that could convince Connor that he had not meant the harsh, cutting things he had said, or that he truly was in love with him.
Stephen had ruined everything, and he had lost Connor's love.
So the tracker was surprised when Connor came to his hospital room one day, and kissed him lightly on the lips, expressing everything he felt on his face without trying.
"I am so, so sorry, Connor." Stephen said. This time, unbelievably, Connor managed a small smile, which reached his eyes, and nodded.
"It's alright." And this time they knew it, while not yet completely truthful, would be so in time.
"I love you." Stephen told him, trying to put everything he felt into those 3 little words. Connor kissed his lips, and the tip of his nose.
"Me too."
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Drabble #20: Blame
AN: This drabble takes place after ‘Alive’ and ‘Alright’, maybe a few days later. Things are still rocky, and everyone’s blaming themselves. Hoenstly, I’d personally just blame Helen, but y’know, Stephen was a bit in the wrong too… and Connor’s such a sweety, but he’s a silly boy. :P
“It’s my fault you’re in hospital.” Connor said softly; he didn’t think Stephen was awake, and the room was dark. And he knew it sounded crazy, to blame himself, but… he couldn’t help but blame himself. The logic just didn’t connect, didn’t stop him from feeling unbearably guilty looking at the other man, pale and swathed in plasters as, lying in that bed.
He was understandably surprised when Stephen spoke into the darkness, the man’s bandaged hand gripping his lightly, but firmly.
“You mean it’s thanks to you.” Connor flinched away, but Stephen used what strength he had to hang on to his hand. The younger man reluctantly sat back down in his chair. “I didn’t mean it like you think, Conn. It’s thanks to you that I’m not dead, that in a few weeks I’ll be up and about on crutches, rather than months or not at all. I’m alive, and I’m not missing any limbs, and it’s all thanks to you.”
Connor thought that maybe he could actually believe what Stephen was saying.
“And Conn… Don’t blame yourself. I shouldn’t have been such an arse to you - you were right all along, and I yelled at you and accused you of horrible things.”
“Don’t - you… you’ve already apologized. I forgave you. I love you.”
Stephen sighed.
“Conn…”
“No, no. You said some mean things, but I didn’t try to stop you, I didn’t… I shouldn’t have let you run back to Helen, I should’ve-” Stephen made the monumental effort to pull Connor down to his level, pulling him forwards and kissing him firmly to quiet the increasingly desperate-sounding protests.
“I love you Connor. None of this is your fault.”
It would take time, but hopefully things would get back to some semblance of normality sooner than later.
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Drabble #21 : Threats
"Stephen." He turned around on his crutches to face Abby.
"If you ever hurt him again, I'll kill you." She threatened, the glare making it obvious that she wasn't joking.
"I know." He couldn't promise that he wouldn't; there were going to be misunderstandings and he knew he wasn't the best with communicating clearly. There were going to be times he hurt Connor, and the pain of that knowledge was overwhelming. "I don't want to. Ever again." He said quietly.
Her gaze softened a little.
"Go on; make sure he knows without a doubt that you love him. Because he definitely loves you." She told him. Stephen nodded.
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