Just a rant ...
OK, I've always been sort of a bleeding heart, and one of those nice girls that's easy to talk to. I'm cool with that. I generally love that people feel comfortable with me ... but DUDE!! Some people just piss me the fuck off!
Today I'm out on break and I'm talking on the phone - ON THE PHONE!! - some crazy guy sitting a few yards away keeps saying, "Hi. ... Hi. ... Hi. ...(ad infinitum)" I say 'hi' back, once, and then ignore him. No big deal.
Some other guy walks up to me while I'm still on the phone ... "Hey, can I get a cigarette?"
Me: "Sorry, I'm almost out." *I continue talking on the phone*
Guy: "Well, can you spare a dollar?"
Me: "Sorry, I don't carry cash." *I gesture to the phone, and turn the other way*
Guy: *pulls out a cigarette that he apparently already had* "Do you have a light?"
Me: "Do you not see that I'm on the phone? Ask someone else."
Guy: "Who?"
Me: "Are you serious? Go away now."
Guy: "Bitch."
Yes. Yes, that's absolutely right. I am a bitch.
Well, we simply don't put up with that kind of behavior in JeanneLand. So that's when I brought the smack down, pro-wrestling-Matrix-style:
I threw down my phone and leaped into the air in slow-motion, and kicked the fucker right in the head, breaking his nose and knocking out several teeth. Then, I grabbed a conveniently placed folding chair and used it to knock him to the ground, just before I leaped off the ropes into a pile driver ... crushing his ribs and turning his internal organs to jelly. As I walked back to the office, the crowd cheered ... and somewhere, I could hear the distant chords of the theme song to "The Magnificent Seven" ... and the crazy guy, saying 'Hi.'
"I have to say, it's been a pretty good day. I didn't even have to use my AK." ... preach on, my brutha.
Today I'm out on break and I'm talking on the phone - ON THE PHONE!! - some crazy guy sitting a few yards away keeps saying, "Hi. ... Hi. ... Hi. ...(ad infinitum)" I say 'hi' back, once, and then ignore him. No big deal.
Some other guy walks up to me while I'm still on the phone ... "Hey, can I get a cigarette?"
Me: "Sorry, I'm almost out." *I continue talking on the phone*
Guy: "Well, can you spare a dollar?"
Me: "Sorry, I don't carry cash." *I gesture to the phone, and turn the other way*
Guy: *pulls out a cigarette that he apparently already had* "Do you have a light?"
Me: "Do you not see that I'm on the phone? Ask someone else."
Guy: "Who?"
Me: "Are you serious? Go away now."
Guy: "Bitch."
Yes. Yes, that's absolutely right. I am a bitch.
Well, we simply don't put up with that kind of behavior in JeanneLand. So that's when I brought the smack down, pro-wrestling-Matrix-style:
I threw down my phone and leaped into the air in slow-motion, and kicked the fucker right in the head, breaking his nose and knocking out several teeth. Then, I grabbed a conveniently placed folding chair and used it to knock him to the ground, just before I leaped off the ropes into a pile driver ... crushing his ribs and turning his internal organs to jelly. As I walked back to the office, the crowd cheered ... and somewhere, I could hear the distant chords of the theme song to "The Magnificent Seven" ... and the crazy guy, saying 'Hi.'
"I have to say, it's been a pretty good day. I didn't even have to use my AK." ... preach on, my brutha.