this is my home, leave me alone.
Maybe, maybe I understand my boyfriend just a little more.
I understand how he dealt with so much pain before. I understand how he deals with pain now. I understand how he failed to sense my reactions and how he did things perfectly logically.
I understand how he's so good at math and physics and why it's so frustrating to work with him.
"If you ever have feelings for someone else, don't feel like staying with me is an obligation."
I cried all over again. I apologized to him so many times but every time he just said "it's okay".
I understand how he dealt with me for so long.
Don't say that, Julian. It hurts so much.
He admitted that he was a sociopath when he was little and didn't develop empathy until he was 8 or 9 years old. He told me that he sees things socially that nobody else can see (easily at least) because he saw the world so logically that even emotions were broken down into systematic equations for him. I understand how I can see him as such a good person - because he doesn't have to deal with the same emotional problems that I do.
I don't know how he loves me, but he does. And my feelings are already waning with the passing time and huge distance. I felt so bad. I felt so horrible. But he said it's okay. It hurts, but it's okay.
"No matter what happens, I still love you."
No wonder he doesn't like music, no wonder he doesn't like dances, no wonder no wonder.
No wonder I can never understand how he thinks.
No wonder I keep comparing him to Bryan.
I just have to trust Julian when he makes an observation about someone based on their actions. Because now I know that his emotional conjectures are accurate. Because he looks at it all completely logically.
I just cry thinking about him now. I couldn't apologize to him enough. But he's already forgiven me for my feelings for Bryan. There's only me left to forgive myself.
I understand how he dealt with so much pain before. I understand how he deals with pain now. I understand how he failed to sense my reactions and how he did things perfectly logically.
I understand how he's so good at math and physics and why it's so frustrating to work with him.
"If you ever have feelings for someone else, don't feel like staying with me is an obligation."
I cried all over again. I apologized to him so many times but every time he just said "it's okay".
I understand how he dealt with me for so long.
Don't say that, Julian. It hurts so much.
He admitted that he was a sociopath when he was little and didn't develop empathy until he was 8 or 9 years old. He told me that he sees things socially that nobody else can see (easily at least) because he saw the world so logically that even emotions were broken down into systematic equations for him. I understand how I can see him as such a good person - because he doesn't have to deal with the same emotional problems that I do.
I don't know how he loves me, but he does. And my feelings are already waning with the passing time and huge distance. I felt so bad. I felt so horrible. But he said it's okay. It hurts, but it's okay.
"No matter what happens, I still love you."
No wonder he doesn't like music, no wonder he doesn't like dances, no wonder no wonder.
No wonder I can never understand how he thinks.
No wonder I keep comparing him to Bryan.
I just have to trust Julian when he makes an observation about someone based on their actions. Because now I know that his emotional conjectures are accurate. Because he looks at it all completely logically.
I just cry thinking about him now. I couldn't apologize to him enough. But he's already forgiven me for my feelings for Bryan. There's only me left to forgive myself.