The Walking Dead S3 Ep1
So, Himself and I sat down and watched the season three premiere of The Walking Dead last night.
Let me just preface this post with saying that we had to stop the DVR several times to argue about Roman era weapons. So, you know, some perspective on just how fucking nerdy Himself and I are.
The opening pissed Himself off. What was wrong with the dog food? Look, if dogs can eat it, then so can humans. It might be slimy. It might taste nasty. But you know what? You can eat it. And if your pregnant wife is starving? THEN EAT THE DAMN DOG FOOD. I'm not sure if Rick throwing the food against the wall was supposed to show that it was bad, but what it did come off as was that Rick didn't seem to think they should "lower" themselves to eating dog food. Look, Rick, honey, I know you're all Alpha Male at the moment, but YOUR PREGNANT WIFE NEEDS TO EAT. So get over your damn self and realize that sometimes in a goddamn zombie apocalypse you got to eat the goddamn dog food in order to survive. Jesus fucking Christ, man.
Also, nice about face Lori. We end season two with you unable to bear Rick's touch, now you're all "But I love him!" I'll give you a pass on the pregnancy hormones, okay? But still. I still kinda want to slap you. I'm just saying.
I like how they showed the problem of the herds and using that as an effective reason for why they didn't seem to notice the big goddamn prison that was maybe five miles distant. Also, believable. With that many dead, there WOULD be herds roaming the country sides.
Now, let me get to the part where Himself and I argued Roman era weapons and basic middle ages fortifications. In the scene where they're in the fence run, killing the walkers with broken lengths of poles, it occurred to us that there is a great big goddamn forest allllll around them. How easy would it be to, say, grab a nice straight length of wood, grab a gardening trowel or blade of some sort and strap that onto the end of a, say, ten foot pole? Wait, lemme find a link to show what I'm getting at: okay, there's the Pilum or the Hasta, just to start off with. Not to mention later halberds and regular spears and just - look. The more distance between you and the zombie, the better, right? SO GO MAKE A FUCKING SPEAR. It's not like you're in the middle of a desert where there aren't a lot of trees. There's plenty. SO GO MAKE SOME.
Which brings me to my second point: ATLANTA, GEORGIA IS RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE KINGDOM OF MERIDIES. The Kingdom of Meridies, for those not in the know, is a kingdom of the SCA. You know, those medieval recreationists. The people that would, oh, HAVE all the medieval weaponry, knowledge, ability to create functioning palisades. No, chain length fences will not keep walkers out. But a ten foot wooden fence with a walkway damn sure will. And I know about palisades from goddamn FANTASY books. It's not that hard. I mean. Honestly people. Basic fucking protection against the big bad outdoors. We've done it for thousands of years. The SCA folks would be ALL OVER THIS ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. THEY'D BE THE ONES TO FUCKING ALLY WITH, OKAY? I'M JUST SAYING.
So, yeah. Two ten minute debates about Roman era weaponry and medieval fences interrupted our viewing pleasure. Himself shouted at the TV more than once "This show is starting to piss me off!". I kind of agreed with him.
Now, don't get me wrong. The prison is a good idea, if, you know, for not all of the walkers roaming around. And DO NOT get me started on that shitty clearing job of the halls. Look, Himself and I have played dungeon crawlers for years. You have to clear ALL THE SPAWN POINTS BEFORE YOU ADVANCE, OKAY? IT'S COMMON FUCKING SENSE. Also, bad on Hershall for not braining that zombie. I could tell he was still animated the FIRST time he walked over it.
I really liked the Michonne character and the interactions between her and Andrea. Also, Lori's fear of teh zombie baby was nice and nightmare inducing, thank you Lori for that. Also, Carl's total crush was just so CUTE I wanted to squish his cheeks. Also, Darryl getting hit on by Carol was fucking PRICELESS, even if my favorite pairing is Darryl/Glenn. (Which, I won't lie, I'm still trying to rewrite in my head. Also, with bonus Shane being alive, because look, Shane's brand of bugfuck crazy is just goddamn hot). Rick's asshole side has risen to the fore, which I can kind of understand, due to, oh, having to kill the love of his life (look, roll with me, okay?) and having to lead a party of people through the end of the world with a pregnant wife who can't seem to decide if she loves or hates him and just - he's got issues, and I understand this. He'd be better served if Shane was still around. SEE? SHANE WAS HIS PILLAR OF STRENGTH. GODDAMN LORI. GODDAMN SHOW WRITERS. SHANE WE WANT YOU BAAAACK.
All in all? It was alright. I hold out hope for the season to pick up the tempo and kick some ass. Just. No more stupid mistakes, please, show writers. There's only so much we can take before we whip out the internet and start bitching about which century's defense structures were better and that's never a pretty conversation in my house. Okay? Please? Good. I'm glad we've had this talk.
*stomps off for more tea*
Let me just preface this post with saying that we had to stop the DVR several times to argue about Roman era weapons. So, you know, some perspective on just how fucking nerdy Himself and I are.
The opening pissed Himself off. What was wrong with the dog food? Look, if dogs can eat it, then so can humans. It might be slimy. It might taste nasty. But you know what? You can eat it. And if your pregnant wife is starving? THEN EAT THE DAMN DOG FOOD. I'm not sure if Rick throwing the food against the wall was supposed to show that it was bad, but what it did come off as was that Rick didn't seem to think they should "lower" themselves to eating dog food. Look, Rick, honey, I know you're all Alpha Male at the moment, but YOUR PREGNANT WIFE NEEDS TO EAT. So get over your damn self and realize that sometimes in a goddamn zombie apocalypse you got to eat the goddamn dog food in order to survive. Jesus fucking Christ, man.
Also, nice about face Lori. We end season two with you unable to bear Rick's touch, now you're all "But I love him!" I'll give you a pass on the pregnancy hormones, okay? But still. I still kinda want to slap you. I'm just saying.
I like how they showed the problem of the herds and using that as an effective reason for why they didn't seem to notice the big goddamn prison that was maybe five miles distant. Also, believable. With that many dead, there WOULD be herds roaming the country sides.
Now, let me get to the part where Himself and I argued Roman era weapons and basic middle ages fortifications. In the scene where they're in the fence run, killing the walkers with broken lengths of poles, it occurred to us that there is a great big goddamn forest allllll around them. How easy would it be to, say, grab a nice straight length of wood, grab a gardening trowel or blade of some sort and strap that onto the end of a, say, ten foot pole? Wait, lemme find a link to show what I'm getting at: okay, there's the Pilum or the Hasta, just to start off with. Not to mention later halberds and regular spears and just - look. The more distance between you and the zombie, the better, right? SO GO MAKE A FUCKING SPEAR. It's not like you're in the middle of a desert where there aren't a lot of trees. There's plenty. SO GO MAKE SOME.
Which brings me to my second point: ATLANTA, GEORGIA IS RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE KINGDOM OF MERIDIES. The Kingdom of Meridies, for those not in the know, is a kingdom of the SCA. You know, those medieval recreationists. The people that would, oh, HAVE all the medieval weaponry, knowledge, ability to create functioning palisades. No, chain length fences will not keep walkers out. But a ten foot wooden fence with a walkway damn sure will. And I know about palisades from goddamn FANTASY books. It's not that hard. I mean. Honestly people. Basic fucking protection against the big bad outdoors. We've done it for thousands of years. The SCA folks would be ALL OVER THIS ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. THEY'D BE THE ONES TO FUCKING ALLY WITH, OKAY? I'M JUST SAYING.
So, yeah. Two ten minute debates about Roman era weaponry and medieval fences interrupted our viewing pleasure. Himself shouted at the TV more than once "This show is starting to piss me off!". I kind of agreed with him.
Now, don't get me wrong. The prison is a good idea, if, you know, for not all of the walkers roaming around. And DO NOT get me started on that shitty clearing job of the halls. Look, Himself and I have played dungeon crawlers for years. You have to clear ALL THE SPAWN POINTS BEFORE YOU ADVANCE, OKAY? IT'S COMMON FUCKING SENSE. Also, bad on Hershall for not braining that zombie. I could tell he was still animated the FIRST time he walked over it.
I really liked the Michonne character and the interactions between her and Andrea. Also, Lori's fear of teh zombie baby was nice and nightmare inducing, thank you Lori for that. Also, Carl's total crush was just so CUTE I wanted to squish his cheeks. Also, Darryl getting hit on by Carol was fucking PRICELESS, even if my favorite pairing is Darryl/Glenn. (Which, I won't lie, I'm still trying to rewrite in my head. Also, with bonus Shane being alive, because look, Shane's brand of bugfuck crazy is just goddamn hot). Rick's asshole side has risen to the fore, which I can kind of understand, due to, oh, having to kill the love of his life (look, roll with me, okay?) and having to lead a party of people through the end of the world with a pregnant wife who can't seem to decide if she loves or hates him and just - he's got issues, and I understand this. He'd be better served if Shane was still around. SEE? SHANE WAS HIS PILLAR OF STRENGTH. GODDAMN LORI. GODDAMN SHOW WRITERS. SHANE WE WANT YOU BAAAACK.
All in all? It was alright. I hold out hope for the season to pick up the tempo and kick some ass. Just. No more stupid mistakes, please, show writers. There's only so much we can take before we whip out the internet and start bitching about which century's defense structures were better and that's never a pretty conversation in my house. Okay? Please? Good. I'm glad we've had this talk.
*stomps off for more tea*