Ehhhh...
so it's been three weeks. the thingy said it was three weeks since my last update, or post i guess it meant so im trusting it. it feels like a lot more than three weeks though..oh well. i think that my life is not worth documenting(sp?) since not many interesting things happen, but im just realizing it now, that there are a lot of weird things going on in my life. insuffnifigent(sp?), but weird, worth remembering and writing it down. its like interesting facts about my life that im just discovering. one by one, day by day, everyone discovers something new about themselves. and most of the things i discover are so small, my mind doesnt even register it. what i mean is your subconsious(sp?) is storing all this new infomation about yourself that you dont even know. and im telling you, its gathering dust. i guess what im trying to say is that if we become more observant of our surroundings and ourselves, we might just come to understanding all the little things about life that we over look. want an example of me that i found a couple days ago, but just discovered it about five minutes ago? that there is one song from the musical RENT that i like the most. its when roger is mad at mimi and they sing this really cool duet. i rather like mimi's parts thoguh, ive memorised them already. its like a sad slow, but clear song that she sings. here ill recite it from memory for you:
"The heart may freeze, or it may burn. The pain will ease, if i can learn. There is no future, there is no past, i live this moment, as my last!" crap im putting too much pressure on myself because im consicouly(sp?) trying to remember it, instead of just, SINGING it. oh well. the heart may feeze/burn part is my absolute favorite part though.
i feel as if i have to keep this laptop with me all the time so when something happens, i can record it right here while i remember it. but of course i don't carry my laptop everywhere with me, in fact if stays in my room 24/7, and may make it out of my room and into the living room for a couple minutes to a couple of hours, IF ITS LUCKY. lol. i remember writing a paper on what it would be like to be my laptop for a writing portfolio. that porfolio was a bitch. and i mean it enough to swear. TO SWEAR PEOPLE. oh god, im in a werid mood. sorry if i scare/creep/freak out anyone...0o but i got an A on that portfolio anyways, and i was expecting like a D on it or something, im serious. i still can't believe that im out of eigth grade, it takes me a long time for something to settle in and for me to realize the depth of it. my aunt died three or four years ago and it still hasnt really hit me yet. perhaps because i wasn't very close to her, i never really talked to her when she was alive, so i didn't know her well. so that might be why i still can't believe that shes dead. its hard for anyone to believe that a person they love is in a wooden coffin with no air buring six feet under the ground with nothing but a grey slab of cemente(sp?) to mark where they rest. sorry for being so...raw about it but its the way if feel.
i didn't expect my rain of thoughts to lead me to people being buried and death. my train of thought isn't exactly normal though. i see things in a different light i think. but you see, i only THINK. its because id never share my thoughts like this with anyone, for fear of them laughing at me, or trying to best me or bring me down(even when they mean not to) have you noticed this happening to people now a days? you say one thing and you want people to say congratulations, or thats great, amazing. you just want to be noticed of what you did and be rewarded for it. but no people instead say, oh heh ya thats nothing, i did THIS. you can feel your face fall. why can't i have my moment without someone ruining it? without someone putting me down, or making me feel as if my accomplishment is worth nothing in their eyes? why does this always happen to me? how come no one can let me just be happy about it? why....?
there's little things in my life that i want to record. like a qoute. like just post "Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself" (a favorite qoute of mine) because my mind is like, oh hey write that down, DONT FORGET TO WRITE IT DOWN YOU DUMBASS but then i still have to finish my last thought, and then another one comes along thats totally off track and I CANT WRITE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW IM DOING SOMETHING ELSE WILL YOU JUST SHUTUP?!?!?!? but that quote is a good thing, i did actually wanted to write that down, but i didn't find the right time to write it down. i keep messing up write and right at the moment. when i want to write 'right' i write 'write' accidently. and when i want to write 'write' i type 'right' instead. really, i can't make it anymore simpler than that.
i want to learn the japenese language.
its 1 34 at night..errr...in the morning, and my mind is slowing down, so i have to quit before my brain makes a connection to this and i type up another story. GODDAMMIT i thought of one.
OH ITS GONE
GONE WITH THE WIND!!!!!!!!!
....
sorry about that....like i said im in the weirdest mood right now.
bye,
Molly~
(the "~" sign is the cutest little sign thingy!!!!!! kyaaaaaaaaa~~~~)
OMG I LOVE PON AND ZI TRUEEEE LOOOOVVVEEEE!!!!!!! THIS IS THEM ARENT THEY CUTE???? I LOVE THEM THEY ARE FUNNY LITTLE PICS OF THEM TOO IF YOU SEARCH PON AND ZI IN THE IMAGES PART OF GOOGLE OR WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS PON THATS ON THE BACKGROUND OF MY PROFILE!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
again i apoligize for my weird behavoir(sp?) i dont know whats wrong with me. >.> plz dont run away im not usually like this!!! nooooooooo dont leave meeeeee i promise ill change, ILL CHANGE!
I AM GOING BEFORE I WERID YOU ALL OUT EVEN MORE GOOD BYE DAMN YOU
pressing post button...now.
"The heart may freeze, or it may burn. The pain will ease, if i can learn. There is no future, there is no past, i live this moment, as my last!" crap im putting too much pressure on myself because im consicouly(sp?) trying to remember it, instead of just, SINGING it. oh well. the heart may feeze/burn part is my absolute favorite part though.
i feel as if i have to keep this laptop with me all the time so when something happens, i can record it right here while i remember it. but of course i don't carry my laptop everywhere with me, in fact if stays in my room 24/7, and may make it out of my room and into the living room for a couple minutes to a couple of hours, IF ITS LUCKY. lol. i remember writing a paper on what it would be like to be my laptop for a writing portfolio. that porfolio was a bitch. and i mean it enough to swear. TO SWEAR PEOPLE. oh god, im in a werid mood. sorry if i scare/creep/freak out anyone...0o but i got an A on that portfolio anyways, and i was expecting like a D on it or something, im serious. i still can't believe that im out of eigth grade, it takes me a long time for something to settle in and for me to realize the depth of it. my aunt died three or four years ago and it still hasnt really hit me yet. perhaps because i wasn't very close to her, i never really talked to her when she was alive, so i didn't know her well. so that might be why i still can't believe that shes dead. its hard for anyone to believe that a person they love is in a wooden coffin with no air buring six feet under the ground with nothing but a grey slab of cemente(sp?) to mark where they rest. sorry for being so...raw about it but its the way if feel.
i didn't expect my rain of thoughts to lead me to people being buried and death. my train of thought isn't exactly normal though. i see things in a different light i think. but you see, i only THINK. its because id never share my thoughts like this with anyone, for fear of them laughing at me, or trying to best me or bring me down(even when they mean not to) have you noticed this happening to people now a days? you say one thing and you want people to say congratulations, or thats great, amazing. you just want to be noticed of what you did and be rewarded for it. but no people instead say, oh heh ya thats nothing, i did THIS. you can feel your face fall. why can't i have my moment without someone ruining it? without someone putting me down, or making me feel as if my accomplishment is worth nothing in their eyes? why does this always happen to me? how come no one can let me just be happy about it? why....?
there's little things in my life that i want to record. like a qoute. like just post "Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself" (a favorite qoute of mine) because my mind is like, oh hey write that down, DONT FORGET TO WRITE IT DOWN YOU DUMBASS but then i still have to finish my last thought, and then another one comes along thats totally off track and I CANT WRITE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW IM DOING SOMETHING ELSE WILL YOU JUST SHUTUP?!?!?!? but that quote is a good thing, i did actually wanted to write that down, but i didn't find the right time to write it down. i keep messing up write and right at the moment. when i want to write 'right' i write 'write' accidently. and when i want to write 'write' i type 'right' instead. really, i can't make it anymore simpler than that.
i want to learn the japenese language.
its 1 34 at night..errr...in the morning, and my mind is slowing down, so i have to quit before my brain makes a connection to this and i type up another story. GODDAMMIT i thought of one.
OH ITS GONE
GONE WITH THE WIND!!!!!!!!!
....
sorry about that....like i said im in the weirdest mood right now.
bye,
Molly~
(the "~" sign is the cutest little sign thingy!!!!!! kyaaaaaaaaa~~~~)
OMG I LOVE PON AND ZI TRUEEEE LOOOOVVVEEEE!!!!!!! THIS IS THEM ARENT THEY CUTE???? I LOVE THEM THEY ARE FUNNY LITTLE PICS OF THEM TOO IF YOU SEARCH PON AND ZI IN THE IMAGES PART OF GOOGLE OR WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS PON THATS ON THE BACKGROUND OF MY PROFILE!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
again i apoligize for my weird behavoir(sp?) i dont know whats wrong with me. >.> plz dont run away im not usually like this!!! nooooooooo dont leave meeeeee i promise ill change, ILL CHANGE!
I AM GOING BEFORE I WERID YOU ALL OUT EVEN MORE GOOD BYE DAMN YOU
pressing post button...now.