2 months
Dear Dad,
I want you back.
I miss you. Terribly. More than I thought I would - ever. I want to be able to call mom and ask how you are. I want to hug you - even though you were horribly thin, one more time.
I want to hear you say, "I wuve you" more than anything.
I get it, you had a long life, I had a long time with you. That doesn't make it feel good right now.
I remember you being transported to the nursing home. You were on a stretcher - sitting up b/c you were so sick - and looking at me - and seeming to feel desperate. It was the nausea I hope.
Then just 7 days later I got a call at 6.12 am from Melissa, drove like crazy and held your hand and cried. God I miss you.
"Help me, help me" in the nursing home........... oh my god
I'd prefer to have my heart torn out than hear that from you again, and well, I suppose I won't. Oh so horrible. so horrible. Your blue eyes, begging me. For what? To not go? To go? I don't know. I just don't know. I'll never know I suppose.
It's so exciting to get married next May & June but so not b/c you won't be there. No, I never wanted you to walk me down the aisle--to give me away--b/c I'm stubborn, I'm not owned by one man and passed to another but
I wish you were going to be there.
I see someone older make a gesture in a restaurant and I think of you, I turn my head and I think of you. I want you back. desperately.
I want you back.
I miss you. Terribly. More than I thought I would - ever. I want to be able to call mom and ask how you are. I want to hug you - even though you were horribly thin, one more time.
I want to hear you say, "I wuve you" more than anything.
I get it, you had a long life, I had a long time with you. That doesn't make it feel good right now.
I remember you being transported to the nursing home. You were on a stretcher - sitting up b/c you were so sick - and looking at me - and seeming to feel desperate. It was the nausea I hope.
Then just 7 days later I got a call at 6.12 am from Melissa, drove like crazy and held your hand and cried. God I miss you.
"Help me, help me" in the nursing home........... oh my god
I'd prefer to have my heart torn out than hear that from you again, and well, I suppose I won't. Oh so horrible. so horrible. Your blue eyes, begging me. For what? To not go? To go? I don't know. I just don't know. I'll never know I suppose.
It's so exciting to get married next May & June but so not b/c you won't be there. No, I never wanted you to walk me down the aisle--to give me away--b/c I'm stubborn, I'm not owned by one man and passed to another but
I wish you were going to be there.
I see someone older make a gesture in a restaurant and I think of you, I turn my head and I think of you. I want you back. desperately.