This is a public service announcemet...
Haha! I'm such an asshole, but at least I recognize it, and I'm able to laugh at it. Laugh at myself, if only for tonight I feel pretty good. So what the fuck is the element that's here today, that's missing so many other days? Not sure boys and girls so I'll just ramble some thoughts here, and hope I can piece it out some other day...
I called in to work, ah I know, irresponsiblity - can you smell the inner 16 year old who wants to skip school to go shopping? Yeah, I wasn't sick, not in a traditional way anyway. It doesn't matter, you can be sick in a lot of ways, and today I think I officially needed a Tammy day. Questioned it for a long time, and decided "oh fuck it, you're not gonna stay in this place, or in this job, for all that long, so if it would make you feel better to sit at home, then do it." Turns out I needed it more than I imagined.
Got treats for my kitties, I'd bought Joey christmas cookies, and he doesn't even live with me anymore, so it seemed silly that I hadn't bothered to dote on my fluffy boy kitties that are actually around for me to spoil.
I've been watching Alexander, 3rd time in about a week, and it's a 3 hour movie so it isn't as if you don't have to set aside some time to watch it - LOL! I only caught the end of it on HBO today, but it affects my dreams in a cool way, so I like it. Don't think I can effectively describe it but my dreams feel "epic" when I watch it.
I don't want to settle, this isn't the place I want to be. I'll settle when I'm in the place, because I believe that there isn't " the one " - there's " the one you met first." It's true though! You can make anyone that person, with a little imagination and painting over the ugly parts you can effectively convince yourself that any random asshole you might meet, is in fact, the love of your life. They aren't, at least there likely isn't some moment in time that was fated that your two souls will meet and create some grand love story. Maybe some people get that, but not most of us. I'm 27, I'm not finding that shit anytime soon you know?
I'm thinking of walking to the store to buy peanut butter cups, my teeth hurt, but fuck it - they always hurt, and peanut butter cups although they won't help the issue, won't hurt it too much either, and they make me happy on some level. I love butterfingers but they hurt - and they have for years so I look at them and sigh but don't let myself get them unless I'm just in a "fuck it, nothing else will do." mood.
I love my phone, my laptop, my mp3 player - even though it's cheesy and cheap, my Cody, and my life today seems pretty okay. Tomorrow will bring it's issues, but I'm not gonna let them drag me down if I can help it. I'll take shit for calling in for a few minutes maybe, but I'll survive it, and it's obvious to me that I needed it.
I called in to work, ah I know, irresponsiblity - can you smell the inner 16 year old who wants to skip school to go shopping? Yeah, I wasn't sick, not in a traditional way anyway. It doesn't matter, you can be sick in a lot of ways, and today I think I officially needed a Tammy day. Questioned it for a long time, and decided "oh fuck it, you're not gonna stay in this place, or in this job, for all that long, so if it would make you feel better to sit at home, then do it." Turns out I needed it more than I imagined.
Got treats for my kitties, I'd bought Joey christmas cookies, and he doesn't even live with me anymore, so it seemed silly that I hadn't bothered to dote on my fluffy boy kitties that are actually around for me to spoil.
I've been watching Alexander, 3rd time in about a week, and it's a 3 hour movie so it isn't as if you don't have to set aside some time to watch it - LOL! I only caught the end of it on HBO today, but it affects my dreams in a cool way, so I like it. Don't think I can effectively describe it but my dreams feel "epic" when I watch it.
I don't want to settle, this isn't the place I want to be. I'll settle when I'm in the place, because I believe that there isn't " the one " - there's " the one you met first." It's true though! You can make anyone that person, with a little imagination and painting over the ugly parts you can effectively convince yourself that any random asshole you might meet, is in fact, the love of your life. They aren't, at least there likely isn't some moment in time that was fated that your two souls will meet and create some grand love story. Maybe some people get that, but not most of us. I'm 27, I'm not finding that shit anytime soon you know?
I'm thinking of walking to the store to buy peanut butter cups, my teeth hurt, but fuck it - they always hurt, and peanut butter cups although they won't help the issue, won't hurt it too much either, and they make me happy on some level. I love butterfingers but they hurt - and they have for years so I look at them and sigh but don't let myself get them unless I'm just in a "fuck it, nothing else will do." mood.
I love my phone, my laptop, my mp3 player - even though it's cheesy and cheap, my Cody, and my life today seems pretty okay. Tomorrow will bring it's issues, but I'm not gonna let them drag me down if I can help it. I'll take shit for calling in for a few minutes maybe, but I'll survive it, and it's obvious to me that I needed it.