(no subject)
it's amazing how much life is like practicing violin. things always have to get worse before they get better. it's not until you tear everything apart -even if you've convinced yourself you have it all together- and slowly, painfully, meticulously figure out each bow stroke, each finger placement, each angle, bringing every note into perfect intonation and harmony with the phrase it belongs in, and struggle through long hours of passage work that suddenly, when you least expect it, everything falls into place and it just...works. it seems that is God way of dealing with me. he has to break me, reduce me to fragments, until i realize my need, and then skillfully puts the pieces back together the way he wants them. it hurts. but there always comes a time where he opens my eyes and shows me that he has been at work all along, through the dark nights and black cloud days when hope is elusive, and that it really is worth the pain. and everything begins to fall into place.
tonight was the breaking of two dawns for me...in both violin and life. God has answered, and is answering, a million uttered prayers and a million secret prayers. it's like a dam has broken and all of the fruit of those prayers and the struggles are pouring out upon me. the harvest was there all along, of course, growing and being watered and pruned and ripening, i just couldn't see it clearly. and i think that is a tiny taste of what heaven is going to be like...the bursting forth of milleniums of longing brought to fulfillment. i can't even imagine.
i feel like dancing.
on top of everything, the africa trip just keeps living on. there have been so many opportunities to talk about it. i gave a testimony after night church two weeks ago during a q & a session for some visiting missionaries. i gave an hour and a half talk on saturday night for a group of the people who supported the trip (i had NO clue i had that many words in me:). and tonight i went to the kids' wednesday night bible study. i didn't particularly feel like going, i was wiped out from working all day, and i didn't really think the kids would care all that much, but i went anyway and God just blessed it...the kids were awesome, and i had a blast with them. and tomorrow night, apparently, i get to give a testimony for the vbs parents' night to raise money for bibles for africa.
why is it that i always expect less of God than i do of the humans in my life? and why is it that he proves me wrong every time nevertheless?
♥♥♥
tonight was the breaking of two dawns for me...in both violin and life. God has answered, and is answering, a million uttered prayers and a million secret prayers. it's like a dam has broken and all of the fruit of those prayers and the struggles are pouring out upon me. the harvest was there all along, of course, growing and being watered and pruned and ripening, i just couldn't see it clearly. and i think that is a tiny taste of what heaven is going to be like...the bursting forth of milleniums of longing brought to fulfillment. i can't even imagine.
i feel like dancing.
on top of everything, the africa trip just keeps living on. there have been so many opportunities to talk about it. i gave a testimony after night church two weeks ago during a q & a session for some visiting missionaries. i gave an hour and a half talk on saturday night for a group of the people who supported the trip (i had NO clue i had that many words in me:). and tonight i went to the kids' wednesday night bible study. i didn't particularly feel like going, i was wiped out from working all day, and i didn't really think the kids would care all that much, but i went anyway and God just blessed it...the kids were awesome, and i had a blast with them. and tomorrow night, apparently, i get to give a testimony for the vbs parents' night to raise money for bibles for africa.
why is it that i always expect less of God than i do of the humans in my life? and why is it that he proves me wrong every time nevertheless?
♥♥♥