(no subject)

[dragonfly137]

So I got my red belt. After a struggle. I did my form and combinations fine, but then came sparring and board breaking. I sparred Linda Cattrall, and then Michael Rhea. Linda has a really strong side kick. I sparred her for a minute. I got pretty winded, but I was stupid and didn't say anything. So right after I sparred her for a minute, I sparred Michael Rhea. It's a bit like sparring myself; he has a good hook kick and he uses it way too much. I could hardly kick. My adrenaline was running wild. It was taking to much energy to lift my leg alllllllll the way up to his head. So I mainly punched. All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. I started this horrible wheezing noise. It was completely silent in the dojang except for my hoarse breathing. It was amazingly loud. Something in my chest was closing up and even though I was taking huge gulps of air, hardly any of it was trickling into my lungs. It was scary. But it's happened before. Happened when I was testing for blue, actually. It's strange, but drinking cold liquid seems to correct it almost immediately. But it came on so fast today that I started freaking out and tears started streaming out of my eyes. I got a drink, calmed down, and finished my match. Now, in case crying in front of everyone, including Brandon, wasn't embarrassing enough, there was some bad stuff in store for board breaking. Since I was the highest ranking belt testing, I got to break last. I had to break with a palm heel and a reverse side kick. Now usually, my hands aren't that hot, but my legs and kicks are incredible. I broke first time with the palm heel. With the reverse side, it must have been the twentieth time before I broke. No exaggeration. Usually, when watching a test, your heart goes out to someone who was to attempt breaking a board for the third or fourth time. So that gives you somewhat of an idea how horrible it was. I watched the video tonight; I had to cry because it was just so pitiful. Sometimes, it looked like it would turn out OK (that's how it looked to the audience) but to me, it felt wrong so I didn't bother kicking. I was petrified of kicking the board holders fingers, especially since the board holder was Brandon. After the tenth time, I effed up and kicked his fingers. I whispered, "Ohmygosh I'm sorry!!" But he didn't look at me. He handed the board to another black belt and let them hold it. Oh gawd. by the sixth attempt, my face was beginning to look like it does when I cry. By 13 or so, I was sniffling. When I finally broke it, I felt like breaking down into tears. Mr Frayser was trying to build my confidence so he offered to let me kick another board, but I had to refuse because I was just about to break down blubbing. It was so embarrassing. But before I broke the board, they had me sit down while they did some other stuff to recover my composure. Sniff. Every time I felt like I had regained control of myself, someone would say, "Come on Ilara, you can do it!!" and then I would feel my face flame up in preparation for tears. What really didn't help was when mr frayser said he'd have to think about giving my red belt. I think he was just kidding. He woudln't have given me the pretest stripe if I wasn't ready. But the thing was, I've never broken with a palm heel or reverse side before. I think it was a tad unfair to test me on something I've never done before. But in the end, they called me up, and I took my blue belt off, while Brandon tied my new red belt on. While this was going on Mr Frayser commented, "Ooh, looks nice." I said, "Yeah, it matches my face." Brandon laughed. At least I made a joke of it.

Adriana Casey and I went to breakfast after the test was over. I took a long time in the dressing room so Brandon was gone by the time I got out. Eh, whatever. Maybe in the parking lot in a few days I'll apologise for kicking his fingers. Heh, it sounds silly. But I knwo it hurts. Poor thing...poor me!

Then I dropped Adriana home and CAsey and I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was pretty funny. We were a little late, but it was cool.

So now I'm home. Rush hour 2 has been rented. Turnovers will be made. Contentment will be all around. Or so I hope. I'm really cold.