(no subject)
People think that they understand who I am. Some might think that I'm pretty easy to figure out. I mean, I'm just shy right? I'm just quieter and more introverted than your everyday girl. I'm average looking, average height, average weight. I live in an average house with an average cat and recieve the average cable. I pay the average bills with my average salary. I guess I'm just an average person.
I'm just the normal person that never learned what it took to be extraordinary. I see the extraordinary ones. The ones who have everything that I want. I don't long for material possesions. If you know who I am, then you might be saying "yeah right". I buy what I buy to make up for the lack of what I truely want in my life. The ones that possess nothing are the lucky ones. Money is corrupt, and money is evil. Money cannot replace what I need, it can only get me things I didn't know I wanted at Target. I need something deeper, something stronger, something that I've never had.
I want to belong somewhere. Sometimes it's as if I don't even belong in my own house, or in my own skin. I want to feel no jealousy, but I am jealous every day. I want to feel no fear, but I am afraid every day. People leave, it's a fact. I want people to stay, but I know they never will. They are always leaving. The world moves too fast for someone to stay in one place for too long. Conversly, things that don't change are boring, I want change, but I don't want upheaval. The way things change in my life are always sudden, fast and unexpected. The change that has caused me not to trust. The change that has taken away my desire to hope. To hope that there really is good somewhere, on some corner of this world. Hope is the most powerful emotion that a human can feel. Hope inspires us to live. Hope causes us to love. This wonderful emotion of hope that so many in my past have squandered and taken for granted.
I'm just the normal person that never learned what it took to be extraordinary. I see the extraordinary ones. The ones who have everything that I want. I don't long for material possesions. If you know who I am, then you might be saying "yeah right". I buy what I buy to make up for the lack of what I truely want in my life. The ones that possess nothing are the lucky ones. Money is corrupt, and money is evil. Money cannot replace what I need, it can only get me things I didn't know I wanted at Target. I need something deeper, something stronger, something that I've never had.
I want to belong somewhere. Sometimes it's as if I don't even belong in my own house, or in my own skin. I want to feel no jealousy, but I am jealous every day. I want to feel no fear, but I am afraid every day. People leave, it's a fact. I want people to stay, but I know they never will. They are always leaving. The world moves too fast for someone to stay in one place for too long. Conversly, things that don't change are boring, I want change, but I don't want upheaval. The way things change in my life are always sudden, fast and unexpected. The change that has caused me not to trust. The change that has taken away my desire to hope. To hope that there really is good somewhere, on some corner of this world. Hope is the most powerful emotion that a human can feel. Hope inspires us to live. Hope causes us to love. This wonderful emotion of hope that so many in my past have squandered and taken for granted.