Why haven't i posted?
because i don't really have anything i want to say to the world anymore. I was talking to Christy (sp?) last night and she made me realize something.
I made a huge mistake. I actually created Dragons Emotion around everyone else. Based my hopes and dreams around them, these people i RP'ed with. Mainly because they were the only family and friends i knew.
I never took into consideration that they would all drift away one day. I never thought that everyone would grow out of it all, that their interests would change and everything would go away.
I based the whole concept of dragons emotion on this particular group of RP'ers I knew, made it into a world i never wanted to go away.
I even made other goals. A huge road trip one day, to meet everyone. a huge RPG game based on everything thats happened on the boards. All those stories and plots interwined into a huge tale. All those characters.
All I needed was support. Support in the way of writings, old plots, summaries, characters information.. That was the killing flaw. People's interests have long gone away from silly RPG's and made up characters. Long gone is the love and imagination people put into these characters....
Now people think about jobs, college, relationships. All grown up... I guess i wish i could stay a child, That everyone i know could have stayed a child. When everyone's favorite movie was dragonheart or something.
---------
I was talking to my mom today about Pine Lake pool, a really nice simming pool i used to go to when i was much younger. younger than 11 even.
Big place, with sand around the water like a beach and a little bit of blue painted cement ground between the sand and water.
One of my favorite things to do was fill pails with water and walk along the place "washing the cement" as it came to be known...
I laughed a bit at that memory... the things a child will think up. No shames or anything. I mean, if i went to that same place today...i wouldn't do things like that... All i would see if the overcrowding and the screaming of kids...
-------------
I never realized just how great youth can be... Everything that adults say about youth being the greatest time in a persons life is true...Never doubt that. Children have gifts that they won't even know they have until they reach that certain age and lose them...then they know..then they miss them.. Then they regret not having done more perhaps.
I remember words of a former friend of mine, Tazmin. "I hate kids because i envy them."
-------------
I have so much going on in my head. So many memories, so much sadness, so much loss and pain. I am torn between taking Dragons Emotion down and moving onto nothing.
It wouldn't be giving up, exactly, since there's nothing to give up on. No one understands though. No one can understand what I mean when i said everything in that first paragraph.
I have been told by so many "So people drifted, find new ones who'd be interested."
Well, I can't. It wouldn't be the same now. It wouldn't hold even one hundredth the magic it did during those ITW years. Those wonderful people I knew back then. Those wonderful characters I envisioned.
I am torn between taking DE down or keeping it up solely to finish what would probably be the most magnificent work of writing ever done. I guess i could do it. If i hold onto all those memories. But they are quickly fading.
---------------
Well...I guess thats all i have to say. This will most likely be the last entry ever to be posted. Maybe even the last anyone hears of me. Not that I am going to commit suicide...Just that i won't be around much anymore..
I made a huge mistake. I actually created Dragons Emotion around everyone else. Based my hopes and dreams around them, these people i RP'ed with. Mainly because they were the only family and friends i knew.
I never took into consideration that they would all drift away one day. I never thought that everyone would grow out of it all, that their interests would change and everything would go away.
I based the whole concept of dragons emotion on this particular group of RP'ers I knew, made it into a world i never wanted to go away.
I even made other goals. A huge road trip one day, to meet everyone. a huge RPG game based on everything thats happened on the boards. All those stories and plots interwined into a huge tale. All those characters.
All I needed was support. Support in the way of writings, old plots, summaries, characters information.. That was the killing flaw. People's interests have long gone away from silly RPG's and made up characters. Long gone is the love and imagination people put into these characters....
Now people think about jobs, college, relationships. All grown up... I guess i wish i could stay a child, That everyone i know could have stayed a child. When everyone's favorite movie was dragonheart or something.
---------
I was talking to my mom today about Pine Lake pool, a really nice simming pool i used to go to when i was much younger. younger than 11 even.
Big place, with sand around the water like a beach and a little bit of blue painted cement ground between the sand and water.
One of my favorite things to do was fill pails with water and walk along the place "washing the cement" as it came to be known...
I laughed a bit at that memory... the things a child will think up. No shames or anything. I mean, if i went to that same place today...i wouldn't do things like that... All i would see if the overcrowding and the screaming of kids...
-------------
I never realized just how great youth can be... Everything that adults say about youth being the greatest time in a persons life is true...Never doubt that. Children have gifts that they won't even know they have until they reach that certain age and lose them...then they know..then they miss them.. Then they regret not having done more perhaps.
I remember words of a former friend of mine, Tazmin. "I hate kids because i envy them."
-------------
I have so much going on in my head. So many memories, so much sadness, so much loss and pain. I am torn between taking Dragons Emotion down and moving onto nothing.
It wouldn't be giving up, exactly, since there's nothing to give up on. No one understands though. No one can understand what I mean when i said everything in that first paragraph.
I have been told by so many "So people drifted, find new ones who'd be interested."
Well, I can't. It wouldn't be the same now. It wouldn't hold even one hundredth the magic it did during those ITW years. Those wonderful people I knew back then. Those wonderful characters I envisioned.
I am torn between taking DE down or keeping it up solely to finish what would probably be the most magnificent work of writing ever done. I guess i could do it. If i hold onto all those memories. But they are quickly fading.
---------------
Well...I guess thats all i have to say. This will most likely be the last entry ever to be posted. Maybe even the last anyone hears of me. Not that I am going to commit suicide...Just that i won't be around much anymore..