An open letter to all would-be coworkers:
You know, just this morning while enjoying a bowl of oatmeal I thought to myself, "I wonder what amusing antics my coworker's kids have been up to as of late?"
I can only assume that's what you believe, at any rate. The gravity of the situation, in fact, is that I was pondering whether another thirty-second nuke would take the edge off said porridge, or if that risked the consistency of warm dog poo.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, on any given Saturday, I'd rather be weighing the complexities of animal feces dancing on my palate than to listen to you stroke your paternal ego with your daughter's latest life-affirming moral victory.
Signed,
What-a-dick
I can only assume that's what you believe, at any rate. The gravity of the situation, in fact, is that I was pondering whether another thirty-second nuke would take the edge off said porridge, or if that risked the consistency of warm dog poo.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, on any given Saturday, I'd rather be weighing the complexities of animal feces dancing on my palate than to listen to you stroke your paternal ego with your daughter's latest life-affirming moral victory.
Signed,
What-a-dick