Missing College? Never thought this would happen
I graduated college last year in May '11, and I flat out told my friends at my celebration dinner later how I was never planning to go back. I did not miss anything about college--the papers, the insanely overpriced and hefty textbooks, strict professors, the social cliques that still went on and I was even getting burnt out with particular friends I had been attached at the hip with in earlier years. I was ready to start anew in the real world, doing real work *I was passionate about* and forever freed from the world of academia.
Now, over a year later, feelings have changed. I can't even describe how or when this hit me. I think part of the reason is because the world outside of college is nothing like anyone quite imagines, but only until you're out there does it really hit you how different it is.
I was watching MTV's Underemployed last week and liked how honest they are with how a lot of kids are living outside of college. I still think some of them have it better off than others I personally know (like when the one guy needed a stable job b/c he wanted to support his preg ex-gf, and had a wealthy father who was able to just hand him a good job no problem). But I like that there are shows now willing to look at 20-somethings who are struggling to achieve their dreams and realizing it's not half as easy as we assumed it would be.
I was finally offered a full-time retail job (or so they told me, I am still wondering if I'll even get 25-30 hours a week b/c in retail it all matters how well the store is doing of course sales-wise) and I should just be appreciative of that. I hate retail though, and told myself this summer I would look for a full-time office job where I can put what I learned in college to good use, but it has been very hard to find anything of the sort. I am happy I am employed, others are not so lucky, but I am also depressed it does not match the jobs I worked towards in college, and I am constantly broke living on paycheck to paycheck.
So yes the world outside college has left me w not a lot of confidence. Everything is uncertain and up in the air, each decision that I make seems like it could have serious reprecussions. The pressure and anxiety of trying to figure out how to best direct my life while trying to attain what seems now ever- distant career goals continues to be difficult.
So maybe I miss college because it just wasn't as complicated or depressing. You had schedules, structure, deadlines. Overall, there was a security blanket that's just not there anymore.
But it's not just that. I also missed building towards something in college. I am stuck in an ugly rut where I am working endless hours in retail, which does not look impressive on a resume since high schoolers can do the job just as easily as I can. I am not moving forward and it only lowers my self-esteem to know some of my other friends found careers they can be proud of.
A part of me wants to go back to school now. Just so I can go back and work towards something possibly more obtainable. I just know that going back to make new career goals is the smartest thing I can do. I breezed through college with a general BA in English and lofty dreams, but this time I want to go back and take it much more seriously and make more practical goals. Sometimes I think I missed something there the first time, or maybe I just have a better idea of who I am and what I really want to do with my life now, more so than I did when I first went to school. Either way, I am done with this rut, and I think missing school is a sign that's where I need to go back to, and figure out what I hadn't there before.
I just hope my gut instincts are right. Tbh though, jumping from one retail job to the next and constantly applying for office jobs that never call me back, is a situation I do not see changing anytime soon so what do I have to lose, anyway?
Now, over a year later, feelings have changed. I can't even describe how or when this hit me. I think part of the reason is because the world outside of college is nothing like anyone quite imagines, but only until you're out there does it really hit you how different it is.
I was watching MTV's Underemployed last week and liked how honest they are with how a lot of kids are living outside of college. I still think some of them have it better off than others I personally know (like when the one guy needed a stable job b/c he wanted to support his preg ex-gf, and had a wealthy father who was able to just hand him a good job no problem). But I like that there are shows now willing to look at 20-somethings who are struggling to achieve their dreams and realizing it's not half as easy as we assumed it would be.
I was finally offered a full-time retail job (or so they told me, I am still wondering if I'll even get 25-30 hours a week b/c in retail it all matters how well the store is doing of course sales-wise) and I should just be appreciative of that. I hate retail though, and told myself this summer I would look for a full-time office job where I can put what I learned in college to good use, but it has been very hard to find anything of the sort. I am happy I am employed, others are not so lucky, but I am also depressed it does not match the jobs I worked towards in college, and I am constantly broke living on paycheck to paycheck.
So yes the world outside college has left me w not a lot of confidence. Everything is uncertain and up in the air, each decision that I make seems like it could have serious reprecussions. The pressure and anxiety of trying to figure out how to best direct my life while trying to attain what seems now ever- distant career goals continues to be difficult.
So maybe I miss college because it just wasn't as complicated or depressing. You had schedules, structure, deadlines. Overall, there was a security blanket that's just not there anymore.
But it's not just that. I also missed building towards something in college. I am stuck in an ugly rut where I am working endless hours in retail, which does not look impressive on a resume since high schoolers can do the job just as easily as I can. I am not moving forward and it only lowers my self-esteem to know some of my other friends found careers they can be proud of.
A part of me wants to go back to school now. Just so I can go back and work towards something possibly more obtainable. I just know that going back to make new career goals is the smartest thing I can do. I breezed through college with a general BA in English and lofty dreams, but this time I want to go back and take it much more seriously and make more practical goals. Sometimes I think I missed something there the first time, or maybe I just have a better idea of who I am and what I really want to do with my life now, more so than I did when I first went to school. Either way, I am done with this rut, and I think missing school is a sign that's where I need to go back to, and figure out what I hadn't there before.
I just hope my gut instincts are right. Tbh though, jumping from one retail job to the next and constantly applying for office jobs that never call me back, is a situation I do not see changing anytime soon so what do I have to lose, anyway?