Time Goes By, and Our Reflection Changes
Wow how long has it been? I don't know, but I wanted to type a little on here to update my situation. In general I'm doing all right, but once in awhile things have gotten hard, but it's nothing I cannot handle now. I've above all become stronger due to the drama that has laced my life lately. I still am exorcising the ghost of my last ex, who truly broke me, and a friend of mine who I had to leave behind, when she finally hurt me for the last time. I still have them on my mind sometimes, because I guess I am confused about why two people I truly wanted in my life, had hurt so much when i was with them. I'm still figuring all that shit out, trying my best to not grow distrusting towards people I am just making friends with now. I want to believe these new friends I have are good ones, but it's hard to get comfortable nonetheless.
Trying to find a new love interest seems even harder, all I get is men who want me physically, but never want to go anymore in depth than that. I must have "fuck me" tattooed on my forehead, or for whatever reason I'm not taken seriously by men. One nice guy who I believe saw me more seriously just never took the next step and I don't know why. But I got bored with him never doing so I moved on. I just hate that feeling of being alone, but I'm human and I want to experience a real relationship again- I mean even my own mom has a man that is getting honestly into her. Idk what's up.
But anywho, other than my personal relationships, I'm hanging in there. I'm looking forward to something new in my life though. While everyone around me continues to evolve in their lives, I seem to be stuck in neutral, and it's boring and repititive. But then people tell me I cannot look for change it just happens...yeah kind of hard not to look for it when you want it. I have been attempting change in my life, and hopefully my efforts are not fruitless. I just want something big truly to happen, I don't know what, but something that would be completley eye- opening. Not too much to ask, right?
I can't wait to get back to school, I am tired of not working. Only a month and half longer...!
Btw- Has anyone looked at an old pic of themselves lately? I was looking at my graduation photo yesterday and I cannot believe how different I was back then. So much shit has happened in the past few years, that even the way I look now seems such a stranger to that grad photo of a few years ago. It's odd...Idk it got me all contemplative...it's made me miss simpler times, but I also am glad I am no longer as naive as I used to be. Though it hurts, it better to be aware than go through life with rose colored glasses on. That's my thought of the day- hope everyone elses summer is going well- lata!
Trying to find a new love interest seems even harder, all I get is men who want me physically, but never want to go anymore in depth than that. I must have "fuck me" tattooed on my forehead, or for whatever reason I'm not taken seriously by men. One nice guy who I believe saw me more seriously just never took the next step and I don't know why. But I got bored with him never doing so I moved on. I just hate that feeling of being alone, but I'm human and I want to experience a real relationship again- I mean even my own mom has a man that is getting honestly into her. Idk what's up.
But anywho, other than my personal relationships, I'm hanging in there. I'm looking forward to something new in my life though. While everyone around me continues to evolve in their lives, I seem to be stuck in neutral, and it's boring and repititive. But then people tell me I cannot look for change it just happens...yeah kind of hard not to look for it when you want it. I have been attempting change in my life, and hopefully my efforts are not fruitless. I just want something big truly to happen, I don't know what, but something that would be completley eye- opening. Not too much to ask, right?
I can't wait to get back to school, I am tired of not working. Only a month and half longer...!
Btw- Has anyone looked at an old pic of themselves lately? I was looking at my graduation photo yesterday and I cannot believe how different I was back then. So much shit has happened in the past few years, that even the way I look now seems such a stranger to that grad photo of a few years ago. It's odd...Idk it got me all contemplative...it's made me miss simpler times, but I also am glad I am no longer as naive as I used to be. Though it hurts, it better to be aware than go through life with rose colored glasses on. That's my thought of the day- hope everyone elses summer is going well- lata!