Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 18 of 21
anonymous
November 7 2010, 15:34:56 UTC
“Would it make you fuck me if I said I wasn't going to thank you?” She said while cupping her breasts, pinching her nipples between her fingers. I think she could feel my cock twitch with arousal. I certainly could.
“It might. Try it.” I said before taking my cock my hand, positioning it at her entrance, rubbing it up and down her slit before teasing her clit with my manhood. She bit her lip as I did so, her hands still playing with her breasts. I wanted to do it myself, but I wouldn't, not just yet.
“I'm not going to thank you.” She said. I pushed my cock into her core as she said it. I did it slowly and she moaned quietly as I did so.
“I thought you wanted to thank me?” I said through gritted teeth as her core welcomed me in it's tight embrace.
“I do.” She said as her legs pulled me tighter to her, forcing me deeper into her.
“You just said you weren't going to thank me.” I said as I drew back until just the tip of my cock was inside her pussy. She didn't reply, her well practised hands still roughly squeezing and massaging her breasts. I watched her as she did so, waiting for a response. When she didn't give me one and instead just played with her breasts I thrust myself back in, my cock pushing deep into her core. Her legs tightened around me again, my hands doing the same on her hips.
“I lied.” Her smile was matched by mine. Her hips churned on my cock and this time I knew I was making the noises I was, noticing the groans coming from my throat. I stopped them as I saw her look around for her smalls. “If you are just going to make noise, I may have to find something to put in your mouth.” I raised an eyebrow at her. I pulled back from her and thrust deep again, before I leaned down and bit the back of one of her hands, before looking at up at her. She smiled at me as she realised what I was doing and moved the hand to the back of my head, as I took her nipple into my mouth, my tongue flicking and licking it. My licking was very uneven and frantic as I tried to get a rhythm going with my hips, my manhood withdrawing from her wet, hot core before plunging deep into her once more.
“That's a much...” I lightly bit at her nipple as she started her sentence and I really began my rhythm, pulling back and pushing in. “Much better job for your mouth.” She moaned quietly after she finished talking, my pelvis now consistently slamming against hers and I could feel her juices coating, then dripping off, my balls. I started to suck on her nipple rather than biting it, my hard cock thrusting deep into her inviting pussy. Her hand tightened in my hair and the noises she made became more like the ones I knew preceded her orgasms. I don't know what I did when mine was coming up but she always knew. I was getting close.
I continued fucking her while I raised my head off her breast and her hand tightened in my hair and she raised herself up to try and get me back where I was. I moved to the other breast, bit on the back of her hand there and her hand loosened. She changed the hand in my hair, before I kissed, licked and bit around the breast I had relatively neglected as my hips still moved, my cock still thrusting deep into her pussy before withdrawing from her core and plunging quickly back into her core. I did my best to mark her breast like she had done to my neck. I could still feel the way she had bit my neck and it made me shiver. It was not with repulsion.
“Alistair...” The way Morrigan said my name, it wasn't a request, a complaint, she didn't want more. It was a compliment, I was doing something right. I wanted to hear more of that voice, so I moved my right hand from her hips to in between us searching for her clit, the other tightening on her hip, pulling her onto me harder and deeper. As soon as I rubbed her clit with my fingers, she moaned my name. My cock pulsed with arousal at her moaning my name as I was deep inside her. I was getting very close and the whimpers she made when she got close started before they turned to groans and they got a bit too loud.
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 19 of 21
anonymous
November 7 2010, 15:36:44 UTC
“Alistair...” She moaned my name as I looked up at her and she looked around while biting her lip, clearly noticing she was making a lot more noise than she usually did. I was so close now, every time she moaned my name I jumped close to the edge. She smiled before moaning again as my fingers became rougher on her and her hand left my hair as she leant up a little, reaching for something and she had to go for it again after I bit on her nipple rather than licking it or sucking on it. She moved back to where she was before and her head leaned back, her moans muffled as her hand returned to my hair and I realised just how much I missed it. Her body tensed and I redoubled my efforts, my fingers moving faster and more roughly, my tongue, teeth and lips working harder on her nipple, my hips pulling back quicker and thrusting forward stronger than before. I could hear her attempting to talk but it was muffled, clearly she had put something in her mouth to keep her from alerting the rest of the camp.
The way she arched her body and then tensed, her hand gripping my head tightly to her, her legs doing the same to my waist. Her hips churned and her juices flowed more freely than before, her muffled moans still loud and strong, the walls of her core clamped down on my cock as I thrust deep and I couldn't hold back any longer. I pushed in to the hilt and bit on the flesh of her breast just above her nipple to keep me quiet as I came deep inside of her once more. My hand tightened on her hip, I was sure I would leave a mark on her flawless skin, yet I couldn't loosen my grip if I tried. My other hand continued it's movements on her clit as my hips stopped moving. My cock throbbed as I spurted deep inside her, the way her walls tried to milk my cock showing me she was more than just OK with it happening, she wanted me to.
Our mixed juices seeped out around my cock and I felt them trickle all over my balls, my orgasm slowly finishing, this one longer but weaker than the previous. The strength of her cores contractions weakened until they stopped altogether. I moved my hand up to her face as I lifted up off her breast and removed whatever was in her mouth, holding it in my hand. I laughed as I saw what it was and I collapsed on top of her before rolling to the side. She rolled with me, her legs still wrapped around me. She untangled them so I didn't sit on them and then I found her head in the crook of my neck once more. I wasn't sure how it happened. One of her hands was still in my hair as the other traced the scar on my chest. Our breathing was heavy for a few silent minutes.
“Alistair...” She said without that pre-orgasmic twinge. I preferred the one moaning my voice. Though I'd come to quite like this one, too. It wasn't a haughty, arrogantly superior voice. It was just...nice. It was filled with promises of things that we could do.
“Morrigan.” I would usually have tried to come up with some kind of witty comment about how she had forgotten my name or how it was a terrible name anyway. I was in no mood to do so though, not at this point.
“Do you still want me to teach you more?” She asked, her fingers still lightly tracing my scar. The other one lightly gripped my hair and it reminded me of what happened not so long ago. “Not right now, of course.”
“Have you used blood magic to read my mind?” She laughed into my chest.
“No Alistair, I can feel your manhood twitch.”
“Oh. Good.”
“So, do you?” She asked, looking up at me.
“Well you wanted to thank me. I think teaching me that kind of thing would be a fine way of saying thank you.”
“Yes, I did. Then I will have to teach you will I? I suppose I can do it if I absolutely have to.” I laughed, her words did not match the excitement in her voice.
“If you didn't say that with such excitement I might have thought you genuinely believed it would be a chore.” She paused before replying.
“You won't tell anyone, will you?”
“Your secret is safe with me. Besides...who'd believe me?”
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 20 of 21
anonymous
November 7 2010, 15:44:00 UTC
“Exactly.” I paused. My eyes had started to become heavy, the adrenaline of our amorous activities beginning to wear off. “What are you going to teach me then?” I was looking up at the roof of the tent but I felt her smile against my chest. My hand with her smalls in it rested against her back, the other one playing with her sweat coated, unruly hair.
“It would not be half as much fun to tell you now. I will tell you when you need to know.” She kissed my scar after she finished the sentence.
“I am looking forward to my education.” I said with barely concealed eagerness.
“We can't sleep together you know. Neither of us wants to be caught like this.” I didn't speak as her fingers danced along my skin. We were silent for a long time, my eyes growing heavy. I assumed hers were too.
“You're right. Although I really like it like this.”
“Please don't tell me you're in love with me.” Morrigan's disdainful voice returned. I didn't like it.
“No Morrigan. I am enjoying this though. You are too, why else are you still like this?” Her fingers continued to dance along my skin and she placed a kiss on my scar.
“Good. Although you are reading me infuriatingly accurately. I don't like it. I preferred it when you were stupid.” I laughed, quietly. I rolled her off me and she looked up at me, those bright eyes of hers locking with mine. I could see her eyelids were heavy. She was fighting to stay awake. I kissed her gently, both of us determined to keep it chaste. I don't think either of us could handle any more tonight. I stood up.
“Where am I supposed to sleep?” She stood up before pointing to the bedding a few feet from where we were standing.
“You can keep those by the way. I have many spare.” I looked back at her and she nodded at what was in my hand. I was still holding her smalls.
“What would I do with...” She put a finger on my lips.
“Just keep them. If you're wondering why I used them for keeping quiet, well, I used them to keep you quiet. Mainly though, I could reach them without making you stop.” I kissed the finger on my lips before moving over to my bedding, my pack next to it. I took out some clothes freshly washed for wearing underneath my armour the next day. As I put the wet smalls in my pack I thought to why they were wet and my cock twitched. Ah, that was why she wanted me to have them. “Is your chest OK?” She asked as she put on some clothes she clearly wore in bed. Even putting on clothes she was ridiculously sexy. I thought I should probably wear something for the illusion we were attempting to convey, so I took some from my pack, putting them on.
“No. All the activity in the last day seems to have made it OK.” I lay down on the bedding before wrapping the coverings round me. I watched her as she lay down in her bedding and used her own coverings.
“Thank you Alistair.” Morrigan said as she looked at me. “In the group though, I never thanked you. I'm never going to thank you.”
“Good night Morrigan.” I said, still watching her eyes. Who else had yellow eyes?
“Good night Alistair.” She closed her eyes and quiet reigned over our tent, my eyes closed, before someone moaned loudly. Everyone knew it was Leliana. It had never stopped me sleeping before and it certainly wouldn't tonight. It didn't.
*^*
A group of Darkspawn was attacking a caravan on the main road into Denerim the next day, which of course we ended up rushing into the fight to help. That stupid dwarf just completely ignored a hurlock that attacked us and I turned around to find a sword coming straight at my face. Thankfully a certain blonde Templar was more aware and a sword coated in flames reached across me to block it. It was so close I could feel the heat on my face. It didn't stay there long as a shield hit the hurlock's face before the sword was driven deep into the creature's guts. 'Tis a miracle that Dwarf fool didn't get me killed.
“Oghren, pay attention!” Alistair shouted at him, before looking at me in an altogether too lustful manner for a battlefield before rushing off to help the ageing healer. I will admit my eyes followed him and I'm sure the look on my face mirrored the one he just gave me. If Oghren responded, I didn't hear it.
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 21 of 21
anonymous
November 7 2010, 15:47:45 UTC
It didn't take much longer for our fight to be over and our march towards Denerim continued onwards. I was more rattled than I'd like to admit and I lagged behind the rest of the group and I soon found Alistair running backwards towards me to get me to speed up.
“You're the slowest here Morrigan. Would you hurry up? The 80 year old mage is faster than you!” He said.
“I'm not 80 you young devil you.” Wynne's response reminded me that Alistair's comment had to be taken with a pinch of salt.
“Slowness of foot can be improved with practice. Slowness of brain however, that is permanent.” I retorted, before speeding up.
“Did that thing in the battle earlier rattle you?” He said more quietly this time, looking at me for a response.
“I'm not going to thank you for it, you know.” I said as I looked at him, lust flashing in my eyes. Alistair may not have been my perfect man, but he turned me on. I hoped he got my meaning. Denerim loomed on the Horizon.
“Are you going to lie again?” He got my meaning.
“I am an apostate, Templar. If I told most of Ferelden who I was they would attempt to kill or capture me. Of course I am going to lie.”
“Oh. Well good. Wouldn't want you to kill any Templars. Especially without thanking them.”
“Would you guys at the back hurry up? You know how annoying they are at the gates.” Aedan shouted, not even turning around to shout at us. Alistair gestured towards them and we sped up.
*^*
We had done some chores during the day and now we were in the Gnawed Noble, which while not cheap was something we could easily afford now given the amount of gold we had found in our travels.
“They only have 4 rooms.” Aedan said. “So Leliana, Barkspawn and I are in one room. Sten, Wynne and Shale in another. Zevran and Oghren, then Morrigan and Alistair in the final room.”
“Surely it would be no trouble if I could swap with Alistair or the Qunari?” Zevran said. No one wanted to room with Oghren, but that was not why Zevran wanted to change rooms.
“No Zevran.” Aedan wasn't going to explain why. No one else in the Tavern needed the details. Aedan handed Wynne and I keys. “Alistair, don't antagonise Morrigan. You don't want to have to room with the Dwarf next time.”
“What's so wrong with me?” He loudly complained before burping and taking another swig of his drink. He looked up at Aedan, realising he had answered his own question.
“If she doesn't antagonise me, I will not antagonise her.” I responded to Aedan, ignoring Oghren's complaint. “Good, as we're all in different corners of the building and I don't want to lose either of you.”
“It won't happen.” I responded.
“Don't be so sure, Warden.” Morrigan responded, earning a glare from Aedan. “Fine, I won't kill him.” Aedan continued glaring, before Morrigan raised her hands. “'Tis a joke, Warden.”
“Good. Now go get unpacked and get an early night. We may need it.” We all started walking towards our rooms, it didn't take long for us to find it. Zevran and Oghren laughed loudly but I didn't know what they were laughing at. Morrigan and I got to the door and I opened it, quickly. I let her in before me, before closing the door. The room was luxurious and there was only one large bed in the room.
“So we have to actually sleep together tonight, whether we like it or not?” I said, dropping my pack on one side of the bed. I started to peel my armour off, her response taking a while. I expected something along the lines of 'No, there is the floor' or maybe 'If we must, we must.'
“Where did you get the impression that you'd get any sleep?” Morrigan said as she dropped her pack on the floor. I looked at her, surprised and I hardened under my armour instantly.
*^*^* Meant to be 1000 words. Ended up at around 16850. Did not expect this.
I wrote this to learn how to write different characters, so would love some constructive criticism! Are either of them too OOC (They have to be slightly OOC in order for them to have sex but too OOC, yes it matters to me)? How many million things can I improve on? Did I write them as sufficiently different? Did I get their language right? Anything else I did wrong/right? I would love to hear it all!
I know actually asking for feedback is lame as fuck but it would be a genuine help. Thanks for reading!
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 21 of 21
anonymous
November 9 2010, 00:27:14 UTC
This...I love this!
And because you asked...My disclaimer being that I write a LOT of Morrigan centric stuff, so I probably have my own view of what she should be, that isn't exactly canon.
It didn't at all bother me that you set them up OOC, because for me, at least, their attraction isn't at all out of character. It's a playground mentality of pigtail pulling and name calling, as they try to hide behind what they are so as not to face what they want. It is wrong for a Templar to befriend an apostate, sayeth the Chantry. It is wrong to acquire the weakness of an emotional attachment, sayeth Flemeth.
The only thing that stuck me was Morrigan's dictation. (Again, this may be just me...) I can't see her using contractions. Her speech is too proper and complete, except for the 't bits. (Speaking of, I liked that you didn't manufacture excuses to throw that in, but used it naturally.) But the rest was so spot on Morrigan that it didn't bother me enough to notice past the 2nd posting...
Hope this was the kind of feedback you had in mind?
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 21 of 21
anonymous
November 9 2010, 11:58:00 UTC
It was indeed, Thanks :D. I like you.
I thought if one of them was going to have more proper language it was going to be Morrigan more so than Alistair. Once or twice i made a point of having Alistair say things a little more incorrectly than i'd expect Morrigan to.
Yeah i agree that i think there is an attraction there, but I think many people would classify it as OOC seeing as they don't have sex in the game. Or at least, you don't know about it if they do. It's the starcrossed lovers thing ala Romeo & Juliet, although with magic.
Re: Morrigan/Alistair - Fine Way; Part 21 of 21
anonymous
November 14 2010, 09:09:35 UTC
Oh god this is exactly what I asked for! than you for making my day that much better. This was my first request and I thought no one answer it so thrilled right now!
“It might. Try it.” I said before taking my cock my hand, positioning it at her entrance, rubbing it up and down her slit before teasing her clit with my manhood. She bit her lip as I did so, her hands still playing with her breasts. I wanted to do it myself, but I wouldn't, not just yet.
“I'm not going to thank you.” She said. I pushed my cock into her core as she said it. I did it slowly and she moaned quietly as I did so.
“I thought you wanted to thank me?” I said through gritted teeth as her core welcomed me in it's tight embrace.
“I do.” She said as her legs pulled me tighter to her, forcing me deeper into her.
“You just said you weren't going to thank me.” I said as I drew back until just the tip of my cock was inside her pussy. She didn't reply, her well practised hands still roughly squeezing and massaging her breasts. I watched her as she did so, waiting for a response. When she didn't give me one and instead just played with her breasts I thrust myself back in, my cock pushing deep into her core. Her legs tightened around me again, my hands doing the same on her hips.
“I lied.” Her smile was matched by mine. Her hips churned on my cock and this time I knew I was making the noises I was, noticing the groans coming from my throat. I stopped them as I saw her look around for her smalls. “If you are just going to make noise, I may have to find something to put in your mouth.” I raised an eyebrow at her. I pulled back from her and thrust deep again, before I leaned down and bit the back of one of her hands, before looking at up at her. She smiled at me as she realised what I was doing and moved the hand to the back of my head, as I took her nipple into my mouth, my tongue flicking and licking it. My licking was very uneven and frantic as I tried to get a rhythm going with my hips, my manhood withdrawing from her wet, hot core before plunging deep into her once more.
“That's a much...” I lightly bit at her nipple as she started her sentence and I really began my rhythm, pulling back and pushing in. “Much better job for your mouth.” She moaned quietly after she finished talking, my pelvis now consistently slamming against hers and I could feel her juices coating, then dripping off, my balls. I started to suck on her nipple rather than biting it, my hard cock thrusting deep into her inviting pussy. Her hand tightened in my hair and the noises she made became more like the ones I knew preceded her orgasms. I don't know what I did when mine was coming up but she always knew. I was getting close.
I continued fucking her while I raised my head off her breast and her hand tightened in my hair and she raised herself up to try and get me back where I was. I moved to the other breast, bit on the back of her hand there and her hand loosened. She changed the hand in my hair, before I kissed, licked and bit around the breast I had relatively neglected as my hips still moved, my cock still thrusting deep into her pussy before withdrawing from her core and plunging quickly back into her core. I did my best to mark her breast like she had done to my neck. I could still feel the way she had bit my neck and it made me shiver. It was not with repulsion.
“Alistair...” The way Morrigan said my name, it wasn't a request, a complaint, she didn't want more. It was a compliment, I was doing something right. I wanted to hear more of that voice, so I moved my right hand from her hips to in between us searching for her clit, the other tightening on her hip, pulling her onto me harder and deeper. As soon as I rubbed her clit with my fingers, she moaned my name. My cock pulsed with arousal at her moaning my name as I was deep inside her. I was getting very close and the whimpers she made when she got close started before they turned to groans and they got a bit too loud.
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The way she arched her body and then tensed, her hand gripping my head tightly to her, her legs doing the same to my waist. Her hips churned and her juices flowed more freely than before, her muffled moans still loud and strong, the walls of her core clamped down on my cock as I thrust deep and I couldn't hold back any longer. I pushed in to the hilt and bit on the flesh of her breast just above her nipple to keep me quiet as I came deep inside of her once more. My hand tightened on her hip, I was sure I would leave a mark on her flawless skin, yet I couldn't loosen my grip if I tried. My other hand continued it's movements on her clit as my hips stopped moving. My cock throbbed as I spurted deep inside her, the way her walls tried to milk my cock showing me she was more than just OK with it happening, she wanted me to.
Our mixed juices seeped out around my cock and I felt them trickle all over my balls, my orgasm slowly finishing, this one longer but weaker than the previous. The strength of her cores contractions weakened until they stopped altogether. I moved my hand up to her face as I lifted up off her breast and removed whatever was in her mouth, holding it in my hand. I laughed as I saw what it was and I collapsed on top of her before rolling to the side. She rolled with me, her legs still wrapped around me. She untangled them so I didn't sit on them and then I found her head in the crook of my neck once more. I wasn't sure how it happened. One of her hands was still in my hair as the other traced the scar on my chest. Our breathing was heavy for a few silent minutes.
“Alistair...” She said without that pre-orgasmic twinge. I preferred the one moaning my voice. Though I'd come to quite like this one, too. It wasn't a haughty, arrogantly superior voice. It was just...nice. It was filled with promises of things that we could do.
“Morrigan.” I would usually have tried to come up with some kind of witty comment about how she had forgotten my name or how it was a terrible name anyway. I was in no mood to do so though, not at this point.
“Do you still want me to teach you more?” She asked, her fingers still lightly tracing my scar. The other one lightly gripped my hair and it reminded me of what happened not so long ago. “Not right now, of course.”
“Have you used blood magic to read my mind?” She laughed into my chest.
“No Alistair, I can feel your manhood twitch.”
“Oh. Good.”
“So, do you?” She asked, looking up at me.
“Well you wanted to thank me. I think teaching me that kind of thing would be a fine way of saying thank you.”
“Yes, I did. Then I will have to teach you will I? I suppose I can do it if I absolutely have to.” I laughed, her words did not match the excitement in her voice.
“If you didn't say that with such excitement I might have thought you genuinely believed it would be a chore.” She paused before replying.
“You won't tell anyone, will you?”
“Your secret is safe with me. Besides...who'd believe me?”
“I suppose they wouldn't.”
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“It would not be half as much fun to tell you now. I will tell you when you need to know.” She kissed my scar after she finished the sentence.
“I am looking forward to my education.” I said with barely concealed eagerness.
“We can't sleep together you know. Neither of us wants to be caught like this.” I didn't speak as her fingers danced along my skin. We were silent for a long time, my eyes growing heavy. I assumed hers were too.
“You're right. Although I really like it like this.”
“Please don't tell me you're in love with me.” Morrigan's disdainful voice returned. I didn't like it.
“No Morrigan. I am enjoying this though. You are too, why else are you still like this?” Her fingers continued to dance along my skin and she placed a kiss on my scar.
“Good. Although you are reading me infuriatingly accurately. I don't like it. I preferred it when you were stupid.” I laughed, quietly. I rolled her off me and she looked up at me, those bright eyes of hers locking with mine. I could see her eyelids were heavy. She was fighting to stay awake. I kissed her gently, both of us determined to keep it chaste. I don't think either of us could handle any more tonight. I stood up.
“Where am I supposed to sleep?” She stood up before pointing to the bedding a few feet from where we were standing.
“You can keep those by the way. I have many spare.” I looked back at her and she nodded at what was in my hand. I was still holding her smalls.
“What would I do with...” She put a finger on my lips.
“Just keep them. If you're wondering why I used them for keeping quiet, well, I used them to keep you quiet. Mainly though, I could reach them without making you stop.” I kissed the finger on my lips before moving over to my bedding, my pack next to it. I took out some clothes freshly washed for wearing underneath my armour the next day. As I put the wet smalls in my pack I thought to why they were wet and my cock twitched. Ah, that was why she wanted me to have them. “Is your chest OK?” She asked as she put on some clothes she clearly wore in bed. Even putting on clothes she was ridiculously sexy. I thought I should probably wear something for the illusion we were attempting to convey, so I took some from my pack, putting them on.
“No. All the activity in the last day seems to have made it OK.” I lay down on the bedding before wrapping the coverings round me. I watched her as she lay down in her bedding and used her own coverings.
“Thank you Alistair.” Morrigan said as she looked at me. “In the group though, I never thanked you. I'm never going to thank you.”
“Good night Morrigan.” I said, still watching her eyes. Who else had yellow eyes?
“Good night Alistair.” She closed her eyes and quiet reigned over our tent, my eyes closed, before someone moaned loudly. Everyone knew it was Leliana. It had never stopped me sleeping before and it certainly wouldn't tonight. It didn't.
*^*
A group of Darkspawn was attacking a caravan on the main road into Denerim the next day, which of course we ended up rushing into the fight to help. That stupid dwarf just completely ignored a hurlock that attacked us and I turned around to find a sword coming straight at my face. Thankfully a certain blonde Templar was more aware and a sword coated in flames reached across me to block it. It was so close I could feel the heat on my face. It didn't stay there long as a shield hit the hurlock's face before the sword was driven deep into the creature's guts. 'Tis a miracle that Dwarf fool didn't get me killed.
“Oghren, pay attention!” Alistair shouted at him, before looking at me in an altogether too lustful manner for a battlefield before rushing off to help the ageing healer. I will admit my eyes followed him and I'm sure the look on my face mirrored the one he just gave me. If Oghren responded, I didn't hear it.
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“You're the slowest here Morrigan. Would you hurry up? The 80 year old mage is faster than you!” He said.
“I'm not 80 you young devil you.” Wynne's response reminded me that Alistair's comment had to be taken with a pinch of salt.
“Slowness of foot can be improved with practice. Slowness of brain however, that is permanent.” I retorted, before speeding up.
“Did that thing in the battle earlier rattle you?” He said more quietly this time, looking at me for a response.
“I'm not going to thank you for it, you know.” I said as I looked at him, lust flashing in my eyes. Alistair may not have been my perfect man, but he turned me on. I hoped he got my meaning. Denerim loomed on the Horizon.
“Are you going to lie again?” He got my meaning.
“I am an apostate, Templar. If I told most of Ferelden who I was they would attempt to kill or capture me. Of course I am going to lie.”
“Oh. Well good. Wouldn't want you to kill any Templars. Especially without thanking them.”
“Would you guys at the back hurry up? You know how annoying they are at the gates.” Aedan shouted, not even turning around to shout at us. Alistair gestured towards them and we sped up.
*^*
We had done some chores during the day and now we were in the Gnawed Noble, which while not cheap was something we could easily afford now given the amount of gold we had found in our travels.
“They only have 4 rooms.” Aedan said. “So Leliana, Barkspawn and I are in one room. Sten, Wynne and Shale in another. Zevran and Oghren, then Morrigan and Alistair in the final room.”
“Surely it would be no trouble if I could swap with Alistair or the Qunari?” Zevran said. No one wanted to room with Oghren, but that was not why Zevran wanted to change rooms.
“No Zevran.” Aedan wasn't going to explain why. No one else in the Tavern needed the details. Aedan handed Wynne and I keys. “Alistair, don't antagonise Morrigan. You don't want to have to room with the Dwarf next time.”
“What's so wrong with me?” He loudly complained before burping and taking another swig of his drink. He looked up at Aedan, realising he had answered his own question.
“If she doesn't antagonise me, I will not antagonise her.” I responded to Aedan, ignoring Oghren's complaint.
“Good, as we're all in different corners of the building and I don't want to lose either of you.”
“It won't happen.” I responded.
“Don't be so sure, Warden.” Morrigan responded, earning a glare from Aedan. “Fine, I won't kill him.” Aedan continued glaring, before Morrigan raised her hands. “'Tis a joke, Warden.”
“Good. Now go get unpacked and get an early night. We may need it.” We all started walking towards our rooms, it didn't take long for us to find it. Zevran and Oghren laughed loudly but I didn't know what they were laughing at. Morrigan and I got to the door and I opened it, quickly. I let her in before me, before closing the door. The room was luxurious and there was only one large bed in the room.
“So we have to actually sleep together tonight, whether we like it or not?” I said, dropping my pack on one side of the bed. I started to peel my armour off, her response taking a while. I expected something along the lines of 'No, there is the floor' or maybe 'If we must, we must.'
“Where did you get the impression that you'd get any sleep?” Morrigan said as she dropped her pack on the floor. I looked at her, surprised and I hardened under my armour instantly.
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Meant to be 1000 words. Ended up at around 16850. Did not expect this.
I wrote this to learn how to write different characters, so would love some constructive criticism! Are either of them too OOC (They have to be slightly OOC in order for them to have sex but too OOC, yes it matters to me)? How many million things can I improve on? Did I write them as sufficiently different? Did I get their language right? Anything else I did wrong/right? I would love to hear it all!
I know actually asking for feedback is lame as fuck but it would be a genuine help. Thanks for reading!
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And because you asked...My disclaimer being that I write a LOT of Morrigan centric stuff, so I probably have my own view of what she should be, that isn't exactly canon.
It didn't at all bother me that you set them up OOC, because for me, at least, their attraction isn't at all out of character. It's a playground mentality of pigtail pulling and name calling, as they try to hide behind what they are so as not to face what they want. It is wrong for a Templar to befriend an apostate, sayeth the Chantry. It is wrong to acquire the weakness of an emotional attachment, sayeth Flemeth.
The only thing that stuck me was Morrigan's dictation. (Again, this may be just me...) I can't see her using contractions. Her speech is too proper and complete, except for the 't bits.
(Speaking of, I liked that you didn't manufacture excuses to throw that in, but used it naturally.)
But the rest was so spot on Morrigan that it didn't bother me enough to notice past the 2nd posting...
Hope this was the kind of feedback you had in mind?
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I thought if one of them was going to have more proper language it was going to be Morrigan more so than Alistair. Once or twice i made a point of having Alistair say things a little more incorrectly than i'd expect Morrigan to.
Yeah i agree that i think there is an attraction there, but I think many people would classify it as OOC seeing as they don't have sex in the game. Or at least, you don't know about it if they do. It's the starcrossed lovers thing ala Romeo & Juliet, although with magic.
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Like the comment above said i did do a few things a little wrong.
May have to do a follow up piece...
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