Re: An Unexpected Proposal 6/? – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 6 2010, 12:11:22 UTC
What Loghain saw made his perpetual frown deepen into a full blown scowl as his good humor vanished. He'd found the pair he was looking for, but the whelp’s hands were all over his Lieutenant, whose shirt was askew in a way that left no doubt about what they were up to.
It was a nasty shock; he’d had no idea of their involvement until now. He wondered how long the tryst had been going on. It was possible that this was their first encounter, but there was an intimacy and familiarity in the way they touched that suggested this was more serious than a brief affair.
Loghain drew breath for the scathing remark that was on the tip of his tongue, when Cauthrien cupped the whelp’s face in her hands and said, “You are not going to change my mind.”
It was the earnest way she said it, as though there were something larger at stake here than a simple tumble for pleasure, that gave Loghain pause. Teagan however did not. He grabbed her wrists and bound them together to the shock of both Cauthrien and her commander watching from above. A heartbeat later, Teagan pushed her up onto the oak table and secured her to the iron candelabra bolted in the center.
Loghain would have demanded what the meaning of this foolishness was except that the meaning was infuriatingly clear. Cauthrien was the best blade in Ferelden and one of the fiercest soldiers he’d ever known. Much of her training he’d seen to personally, and he knew, without a doubt, that Teagan would not be able to manhandle her this way, unless she allowed it.
While Loghain was choking on his outrage, Teagan made quick work of the remains of her shirt, unfastening the rest of it, pushing the material aside and exposing her full breasts to both men in the room. It was not enough for Teagan, who shoved the sleeves up to her bound wrists, until there was nothing left between her soft skin and the hard table except for Loghain’s favorite map.
Loghain’s throat went dry. Frozen to the spot he couldn’t do anything but stare. Teagan looked down at her and said, “Well, we’ll see about that, won’t we?”
She jerked her chin up. “I am quite resolved, Teagan.”
Teagan reached for her boots, pulling them free and tossing them aside. “As am I.” The whelp flashed an insipid grin down at the woman bound to the table. “I can be rather persuasive.”
She laughed. It was a sound that Loghain rarely heard. “I think you overestimate the power of your charm.”
Teagan reached for the laces of her breeches taking his sweet time pulling them loose. “Oh, I won’t be relying on my charm.”
The anticipation nearly drove Loghain mad, especially when the whelp began to slide her breeches and smallclothes off, bit by torturous bit, revealing the feminine swell of hips and a pair of long, shapely legs usually hidden underneath a heavy set of armor.
Her body was exquisite. The twin blades of desire and longing lanced through him, the blows being more powerful for being so very unexpected. Loghain had to grip the banister in front of him to steady himself, his fingers tightening around the wood until his knuckles were white.
Teagan leaned forward with a self satisfied smirk, running his hand up her leg and thigh, resting on her taut belly. The earth beneath Loghain’s feet already felt as though it were crumbling away, but when Teagan spoke, the two words tipped Loghain’s world completely on its axis.
“Marry me.”
The words were like ice water, jolting Loghain of his trance. Fear that she might say yes squeezed his chest.
“No,” she said, but her answer brought no relief. The curve of her lips was an obvious challenge, one that no man would have been able to resist.
Furious, Loghain knew he should turn and walk out the door and leave them to their fool games, but he had to know how it would end. He had to know if she would break and he was going to lose his Lieutenant.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 7/? – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 6 2010, 19:38:50 UTC
The throb of heat her denial caused made Teagan groan. He took a few moments to simply appreciate his handiwork, watching anticipation play across her striking face as he unbuttoned his doublet and shirt. Once free, he tossed the garments aside and stepped between her gloriously long legs.
He rested his palms on either side of her body and leaned down, letting his bare skin slide against hers until he was close enough to kiss her. Until his groin was cradled between her thighs and the only thing separating them was the fabric of his breaches. But Cauthrien didn’t lie there complacently, she lifted her head and kissed him first as she rocked her hips into his. He was panting by the time she finished her embrace with a sharp nip on his bottom lip.
“Woman, you are killing me,” he griped. His only answer to that was another throaty laugh.
Realizing that he was losing the battle even though she was the one bound and tied, Teagan decided it was time to put his hands to work, using one to skim her breasts as he tasted them and sliding the other to knead her backside. Her breathing grew heavy but he wasn’t rewarded with a moan until he nudged her leg up higher and pushed his fingers into her slick heat.
He stroked her until she quivered and then stopped. Again he made his demand. Again came the expected denial. Again his arousal burned white hot. He teased and tortured her this way, asking the question over and over, denying her release every time she denied his demand.
She squirmed under his hands and moaned her frustration. “Teagan.”
Cauthrien wasn’t the only one frustrated; Teagan wanted her so badly now that the ache in his breaches was becoming unbearable.
“Give me the answer that I want,” he said.
Cauthrien gasped, “Never.”
He considered another plan of attack. If he couldn’t cajole her with denial, maybe he could overwhelm her with pleasure. He flashed a cheeky grin. “Come now, I haven’t even made a proper proposal on bended knee yet.”
Her eyes crinkled in amusement as she laughed again. “Teagan, you are incorrigible.”
He dropped to one knee, draped her legs over his bare shoulders and asked her one more time. “I am,” he agreed. “Marry me anyway, Cauthrien.”
This time he didn’t wait for her denial. He just parted her thighs and tasted her, reveling in her cries of pleasure ringing through the war library.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 8/? – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 11 2010, 19:03:06 UTC
Loghain watched his lieutenant writhe and moan on the table below. It was as though a demon had plucked his deepest desire from the darkest recess of his mind and was tormenting him by forcing him to watch another man take it.
He was a fool for not realizing it before now, and Loghain cursed under his breath at his blindness. At his age, he should have known and mastered his desires well enough not to be taken by surprise. But Loghain had always had a preference for strong, beautiful warrior women, and in hindsight the only real surprise was that it had taken his passion this long to bloom.
Lean muscles tensed as her eyes fluttered shut and she arched and cried out her pleasure. The candlelight made her skin glow golden, thrusting the scars that crossed her body into relief. Scars that were a living map of years she had spent in his service. Scars that he ached to touch. Scars that should have marked her as his.
He glowered down the pair of lovers, battling the instinct that burned in his belly telling him to storm down the stairs, drag the whelp to his feet and teach him a bloody lesson he’d never forget. But if there wasn’t enough reason and prudence left to allow him to storm out the door, he still had enough pride to keep him from acting like a possessive, jealous fool.
Cauthrien gasped again and twisted her hands free, and for a brief moment Loghain had a wild and cruel hope that she would shove Teagan away. The fool notion was crushed when Cauthrien buried her strong hands in Teagan’s hair. It struck home what Loghain had already known in his heart - that Cauthrien wanted this, and somehow that was the most unbearable thing of all.
Teagan brought her to one final quaking climax before rising from the floor with his breaches already unlaced. The whelp grabbed her wrists and jerked her to her feet, “Marry me, dammit.”
“I won’t, she breathed. And then she kissed him, her embrace hungry and fierce.
He groaned and spun her around until she faced the table and tightened an arm around her belly. She braced herself against the wood, placing the flat of her hands on the surface, pushing her backside against Teagan’s groin in an undeniable invitation.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 9/? – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 11 2010, 21:40:51 UTC
Sweet Maker, she was driving him mad.
But it was a delicious kind of insanity, one that melted through his skin into his muscles and down to his bones, until all he could think about and all he could sense was her.
It was no longer a playful game between longtime lovers, but his need and longing clashing with her stubborn will. Teagan had to possess more than just her body now. It wasn’t enough that she was tight and slick and hot around him, or that his lips were pressed to her neck, or that the curves of her hips were under his clenching hands. It wasn’t enough that she was crying out his name and pushing back against his thrusts.
Teagan wanted more. He wanted everything she had and everything she was. He wanted to be able to be the only man to make her cry out in passion this way, the only man she went to bed with at night, and the only one she woke up with in the morning. He wanted to fight by her side, to father her children, to make her the lady of Rainesfere.
But Maker help him, he was failing. He could feel that in his bones too, and he couldn’t understand why.
Even so, giving up was not an option. He continued his relentless assault as long as he could, covering her body with his, pulling her tightly against him, and brushing her ear with his lips as he asked again and again, each time silently willing that this would be the moment that she broke and gave in.
She cried out another denial, quaking under his thrusts and he could feel the pleasure ripple through her muscles. His own body responded, the heat that had coiled in his loins burning white hot. He grasped for his self control, but it was slipping away quickly.
Instinct told him to bury himself deep within her to spill his seed. And an inner voice that was much louder than a whisper told him that getting her with child would be another way to triumph. Self loathing for considering such an abuse of her trust warred with his desperate need to make her his. The idea of her belly swelling with his babe pushed him over the edge, and with a cry he pulled away just in time to spill himself harmlessly over her thighs.
They stilled, and for a while the only sound in the room was the sound of their panting breath. They both clung to the table, until eventually he shifted into one of the nearby chairs, pulling her with him until she was on his lap. And when he was finally able to face his heartache, he cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her to face him. It didn’t occur that he would be facing her heartache too, but there it was plain on her face and in her dark brown eyes.
It cracked his resolve, but still he had to know. “Why, Cauthrien? Why won’t you marry me?”
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 10/? – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 16 2010, 23:24:39 UTC
Loghain’s relief was nearly a tangible thing, allowing him to relax his white knuckled grip on the banister. He had triumphed, and yet it brought him no peace.
In silence, Cauthrien slid out of Teagan’s arms and rose. She walked over to where her shirt was crumpled on the table, picked it up and twisted it in her grip as her grief played across her face. “I don’t know how to explain it to you in a way you’ll understand.”
Even though his voice remained even, Loghain could tell the whelp was trying to keep his temper in check from the way his hands tightened into fists. “I think I deserve one.”
She met her lover’s gaze. “I’m a commoner.”
“I don’t care where you came from.”
She shook her head. “I know you don’t. But I do.”
Teagan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Is it because of Eamon? He will object, but he has no say in my choice.”
She sighed and pulled her shirt on. “No. It’s not because of your brother or because of you for that matter. You’re quite wonderful.”
The whelp turned away and stared into the fire. “Yes, I’m so wonderful that you refuse my hand.”
Silence fell between them. Cauthrien’s face twisted, but she closed her eyes and composed herself. There were no tears, and by the time she starting pulling her clothes back on, her shaking hands were the only betrayal of her disquiet.
She turned toward the door, but then hesitated. “I was born in a one room house with a dirt floor. I was one of seven filthy, half starved, illiterate children. The day that I found Teryn Loghain on the road, the only things I had to my name were a rusty blade and the rags on my back. I didn’t even own a pair of shoes.”
Her words seemed to draw the whelp out of his self pity, and threw Loghain back to the memory of too many people in a crowded ramshackle house. Of a pair of indifferent parents, happy to have one less mouth to feed. Of a skinny girl whose raw talent was being smothered by poverty and misery.
“He took me out of that. He brought me into his service, gave me training, had his tutors teach me how to read, how to fight and gave me a chance to prove my worth.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “If it hadn’t been for him, I would have ended up in a tiny house somewhere with seven of my own children to feed. I owe him everything.”
While Loghain knew that he’d had a hand in making her what she was today, he also knew she was wrong about this. She had too much stubborn determination to simply accept her lot in life.
Teagan rose, lacing up his breaches as he moved to where she stood. “So this is about gratitude then? Cauthrien, you must have repaid any debt you must have owed him five times over by now.”
“He has earned my loyalty.” And, Loghain reflected, she had earned his too, in ways that the whelp would never understand.
Teagan took her hands in his. “We can ask for his blessing if it makes you feel better. Surely he would allow you to leave his service?”
Teagan was right about that. If she asked him, he would set her free, but the loss would be… staggering.
“But I don’t want to leave his service. I’m a soldier. I’m his right hand because I am damn good at what I do. Marrying you would mean giving up everything I have worked for.”
“No,” he said. “There must be a way. Not everyone in the army is unmarried after all.”
“Almost all of them are men. Of the few married women there are, none are married to men of rank.” She withdrew her hands from his. “You are not just any man. You are a Bann with an estate and responsibilities. I would have duties as your wife - to take care of the estate, to bear and raise children, to stand by your side as you performed your social obligations. I could not do that and be his Lieutenant.”
Bitterness dripped from the whelp’s words. “You would rather be his second in command than my wife?”
“I have never lied to you, Teagan. I’ve made no demands of you. I’ve never asked for your fidelity or love, because I knew that it would not be fair.”
“Well you have it, whether you asked for it or not!”
Her face twisted as she stepped back. “You have mine too, but I will not marry you. I’m sorry.”
And then she was gone, leaving both men with an ache in their chest and darkness in their thoughts.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 11/12 – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 16 2010, 23:32:05 UTC
The heavy wooden door closed behind her. Teagan stood in the middle of the great library for a few moments, his anger and frustration and pain freezing him to the spot. He turned and slammed his fist into the oak table, the loud thud ringing through the room, and then picked up the map and hurled it into the blazing fire.
The voice seemed to come out of thin air. “Well, that was a damn childish thing to do. That map was two hundred years old.”
Startled, Teagan spun around to see Loghain glowering down at him from the balcony above. For a moment confusion swamped him as he wondered how the hell the Teryn had gotten into the locked library.
“How long have you been standing there?” Teagan demanded.
“Long enough to know that I’m not going to need to replace my Lieutenant.”
Outrage that Loghain had witnessed something so wholly devastating and private made him made him clench his fists. “Do you make a habit of listening into people’s private conversations, Your Grace?”
Loghain’s cold blue gaze narrowed and dropped to Teagan’s bare chest. “After what happened in this room tonight, you’re going to lecture me on lurid behavior?”
Teagan swore, realizing Loghain had seen more than just his pride being torn to shreds. This man was Cauthrien’s lord and master, and his retribution could be terrible if his ire was raised against his Lieutenant. “Are you going to punish her for this?”
“No,” Loghain drawled. “I think you’ve already punished her enough.”
“You’ve revealed yourself to gloat over your victory then.”
“There was no victory here for anybody today,” Loghain snapped. “Only an idiot whelp too ignorant and too spoiled to understand the woman he claims to love.”
“And I suppose you do.” Jealousy ate at his heart, poisoning his words. Teagan threw his hands wide. “What am I saying? Of course you do! You’re the man who gave her everything.”
“All I gave her was a start. She earned everything she has, unlike you.”
Stung, Teagan growled. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” Loghain spoke as he descended the steps down into the main room. “You demand her hand without any comprehension about what it is that you’re asking her to give up. You don’t know a damn thing about her, because you were born into your title and rank and education. She has had to fight for hers, every step, past men of greater rank, men who called her my whore, because she happened to be a beautiful woman who had the audacity to be a better soldier and commander than them.”
“I know what they called her.” Teagan’s face darkened. He had witnessed some of the worst himself.
“Then you should know how much it cost her to get this far and respect her choice, instead of acting like a spoiled child who has been denied his favorite plaything.”
Teagan straightened to his full height and crossed his arms. “My favorite plaything, or yours?”
He had always thought the rumors of them sharing a bed were only the creation of small minded, vicious men, but what if there was some truth to the matter?
There was much satisfaction when he saw the Teryn’s face darken. “You are dangerously out of line, boy.”
Only Loghain would have the arrogance to call a man in his third decade ‘boy.’ Only Loghain would have the arrogance to think that his motives weren’t completely transparent.
“Am, I? Because I think you want her.” The more he studied the tightness on Loghain’s face, the more Teagan became certain of it. Jealousy tightened his chest as he wondered if Cauthrien returned the Teryn’s passion - if that wasn’t the true reason for her refusal.
“I am her Commander. She is my Lieutenant. She is loyal to me, as I her. Nothing more. To be otherwise would undermine her authority and destroy everything she has earned as surely as it would if she married you.”
Two pairs of blue eyes met as their gazes locked, and Teagan finally understood. Both wanted her, but she would belong to neither of them for exactly the same reason.
“I see.”
“Good.” Loghain paused before speaking further. “Your brother requests your presence. He wishes you to meet the Cousland girl. If you are looking for a wife, then that is where you should be.”
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 12/12 – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 16 2010, 23:39:15 UTC
Teagan lifted his chin. “The only wife I desire is her.”
“Then you are in for a great disappointment. Cauthrien will not allow this dalliance to get in the way of her duty.” He waved a dismissive hand in Teagan’s direction, as he walked towards the door. “And eventually you will tire of her resistance and take another as your bride.”
“No.” Teagan picked his doublet and shirt off the floor, shrugging one on over the other as he glared at the other man. “I will break this terrible hold you have on her.”
Loghain paused at the threshold of the door. “You will fail, because your ego cannot accept that she is exactly where she wants to be.”
Teagan watched the Teryn leave, his anger mounting again in response to the undeniable truth in Loghain’s words. After brooding in silence for awhile, Teagan stormed out of the war library, with every intention of washing his hands of Cauthrien and joining his brother at the ball. But when he stopped a few minutes later, it was in front of the door to her quarters.
He took a deep breath and knocked. When the door opened, Cauthrien appeared looking completely composed, other than her red rimmed eyes. Teagan knew that he shouldn’t be pleased, but that she cared enough about him to shed tears was a balm to his wounded pride.
“May I come in?” he asked.
She nodded in bewildered silence and stepped aside to let him pass. The door closed behind him, and she looked at him, waiting for him to speak. He raked a hand through his hair and began to pace the length of the room as he tried to form the right words. She watched him, wide-eyed until finally he stepped forward and took her hand in his.
“I’m sorry.”
Whatever she thought he was going to say, that wasn’t it. She blinked in obvious surprise.
“For what? For offering yourself to me?” She covered her heart with the palm of her hand. “I’m deeply touched and honored that you want to share your life with me that way.”
“For acting like a selfish ass. For not respecting your choice. For expecting you to drop everything you’ve earned and change completely, because I demanded it.” He sighed. “Shall I go on?”
“I hurt you. You were angry and there is nothing to apologize for.” She looked away and swallowed. “I always knew that one day this was going to have to end, I just thought that it would be because you would take another as your wife.”
His grip on her hand tightened the same way that fear tightened around his heart. “You want to end this?”
She looked back at him. “No, of course not, but I thought that you would now.”
Relieved, he tugged her closer and put a possessive arm around her waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her face softened as she sighed. “I’m still not going to marry you.”
“I know.” He took her into his arms and kissed her, reaching up and unbinding her hair and plunging his hand into the chestnut waves.
Eventually she pulled back from his embrace. “This isn’t fair to you, Teagan.”
“I will decide what is fair to me or not.” He rested his forehead against hers so he could look her right in the eye. “You are the only woman I want, and if I cannot take you as my wife, then I will take you whatever way I can, for as much and as long as you will allow it. If you will still have me, that is.”
She bit her lip. “I…” For a moment, he thought she was going to deny him. But her hands tightened around his shirt as pulled him closer. “I think I can live with that.”
The regret at what might have been was still painfully acute, but as Teagan lowered her down to the bed, he was surprised to discover that it was something he could live with as well.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 12/12 – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)
anonymous
August 16 2010, 23:43:16 UTC
Oh, oh, oh. This was so perfectly heartbreaking, not to mention smolderin' sexy and well thought out! It makes so much sense for Cauthrien's character, and darn it, you make me like her that much more.
Re: An Unexpected Proposal 12/12 – (Teagan/Cauthrien/Loghain)teaganonAugust 22 2010, 15:47:05 UTC
Great ending. Perfect pitch. I think you nailed Cauthrien's personality - oh, and the sex was brilliant as well. Loghain's presence made this that much more bittersweet and wonderful. Awesome, just awesome.
It was a nasty shock; he’d had no idea of their involvement until now. He wondered how long the tryst had been going on. It was possible that this was their first encounter, but there was an intimacy and familiarity in the way they touched that suggested this was more serious than a brief affair.
Loghain drew breath for the scathing remark that was on the tip of his tongue, when Cauthrien cupped the whelp’s face in her hands and said, “You are not going to change my mind.”
It was the earnest way she said it, as though there were something larger at stake here than a simple tumble for pleasure, that gave Loghain pause. Teagan however did not. He grabbed her wrists and bound them together to the shock of both Cauthrien and her commander watching from above. A heartbeat later, Teagan pushed her up onto the oak table and secured her to the iron candelabra bolted in the center.
Loghain would have demanded what the meaning of this foolishness was except that the meaning was infuriatingly clear. Cauthrien was the best blade in Ferelden and one of the fiercest soldiers he’d ever known. Much of her training he’d seen to personally, and he knew, without a doubt, that Teagan would not be able to manhandle her this way, unless she allowed it.
While Loghain was choking on his outrage, Teagan made quick work of the remains of her shirt, unfastening the rest of it, pushing the material aside and exposing her full breasts to both men in the room. It was not enough for Teagan, who shoved the sleeves up to her bound wrists, until there was nothing left between her soft skin and the hard table except for Loghain’s favorite map.
Loghain’s throat went dry. Frozen to the spot he couldn’t do anything but stare. Teagan looked down at her and said, “Well, we’ll see about that, won’t we?”
She jerked her chin up. “I am quite resolved, Teagan.”
Teagan reached for her boots, pulling them free and tossing them aside. “As am I.” The whelp flashed an insipid grin down at the woman bound to the table. “I can be rather persuasive.”
She laughed. It was a sound that Loghain rarely heard. “I think you overestimate the power of your charm.”
Teagan reached for the laces of her breeches taking his sweet time pulling them loose. “Oh, I won’t be relying on my charm.”
The anticipation nearly drove Loghain mad, especially when the whelp began to slide her breeches and smallclothes off, bit by torturous bit, revealing the feminine swell of hips and a pair of long, shapely legs usually hidden underneath a heavy set of armor.
Her body was exquisite. The twin blades of desire and longing lanced through him, the blows being more powerful for being so very unexpected. Loghain had to grip the banister in front of him to steady himself, his fingers tightening around the wood until his knuckles were white.
Teagan leaned forward with a self satisfied smirk, running his hand up her leg and thigh, resting on her taut belly. The earth beneath Loghain’s feet already felt as though it were crumbling away, but when Teagan spoke, the two words tipped Loghain’s world completely on its axis.
“Marry me.”
The words were like ice water, jolting Loghain of his trance. Fear that she might say yes squeezed his chest.
“No,” she said, but her answer brought no relief. The curve of her lips was an obvious challenge, one that no man would have been able to resist.
Furious, Loghain knew he should turn and walk out the door and leave them to their fool games, but he had to know how it would end. He had to know if she would break and he was going to lose his Lieutenant.
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He rested his palms on either side of her body and leaned down, letting his bare skin slide against hers until he was close enough to kiss her. Until his groin was cradled between her thighs and the only thing separating them was the fabric of his breaches. But Cauthrien didn’t lie there complacently, she lifted her head and kissed him first as she rocked her hips into his. He was panting by the time she finished her embrace with a sharp nip on his bottom lip.
“Woman, you are killing me,” he griped. His only answer to that was another throaty laugh.
Realizing that he was losing the battle even though she was the one bound and tied, Teagan decided it was time to put his hands to work, using one to skim her breasts as he tasted them and sliding the other to knead her backside. Her breathing grew heavy but he wasn’t rewarded with a moan until he nudged her leg up higher and pushed his fingers into her slick heat.
He stroked her until she quivered and then stopped. Again he made his demand. Again came the expected denial. Again his arousal burned white hot. He teased and tortured her this way, asking the question over and over, denying her release every time she denied his demand.
She squirmed under his hands and moaned her frustration. “Teagan.”
Cauthrien wasn’t the only one frustrated; Teagan wanted her so badly now that the ache in his breaches was becoming unbearable.
“Give me the answer that I want,” he said.
Cauthrien gasped, “Never.”
He considered another plan of attack. If he couldn’t cajole her with denial, maybe he could overwhelm her with pleasure. He flashed a cheeky grin. “Come now, I haven’t even made a proper proposal on bended knee yet.”
Her eyes crinkled in amusement as she laughed again. “Teagan, you are incorrigible.”
He dropped to one knee, draped her legs over his bare shoulders and asked her one more time. “I am,” he agreed. “Marry me anyway, Cauthrien.”
This time he didn’t wait for her denial. He just parted her thighs and tasted her, reveling in her cries of pleasure ringing through the war library.
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He was a fool for not realizing it before now, and Loghain cursed under his breath at his blindness. At his age, he should have known and mastered his desires well enough not to be taken by surprise. But Loghain had always had a preference for strong, beautiful warrior women, and in hindsight the only real surprise was that it had taken his passion this long to bloom.
Lean muscles tensed as her eyes fluttered shut and she arched and cried out her pleasure. The candlelight made her skin glow golden, thrusting the scars that crossed her body into relief. Scars that were a living map of years she had spent in his service. Scars that he ached to touch. Scars that should have marked her as his.
He glowered down the pair of lovers, battling the instinct that burned in his belly telling him to storm down the stairs, drag the whelp to his feet and teach him a bloody lesson he’d never forget. But if there wasn’t enough reason and prudence left to allow him to storm out the door, he still had enough pride to keep him from acting like a possessive, jealous fool.
Cauthrien gasped again and twisted her hands free, and for a brief moment Loghain had a wild and cruel hope that she would shove Teagan away. The fool notion was crushed when Cauthrien buried her strong hands in Teagan’s hair. It struck home what Loghain had already known in his heart - that Cauthrien wanted this, and somehow that was the most unbearable thing of all.
Teagan brought her to one final quaking climax before rising from the floor with his breaches already unlaced. The whelp grabbed her wrists and jerked her to her feet, “Marry me, dammit.”
“I won’t, she breathed. And then she kissed him, her embrace hungry and fierce.
He groaned and spun her around until she faced the table and tightened an arm around her belly. She braced herself against the wood, placing the flat of her hands on the surface, pushing her backside against Teagan’s groin in an undeniable invitation.
“You will,” Teagan said, as he thrust into her.
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But it was a delicious kind of insanity, one that melted through his skin into his muscles and down to his bones, until all he could think about and all he could sense was her.
It was no longer a playful game between longtime lovers, but his need and longing clashing with her stubborn will. Teagan had to possess more than just her body now. It wasn’t enough that she was tight and slick and hot around him, or that his lips were pressed to her neck, or that the curves of her hips were under his clenching hands. It wasn’t enough that she was crying out his name and pushing back against his thrusts.
Teagan wanted more. He wanted everything she had and everything she was. He wanted to be able to be the only man to make her cry out in passion this way, the only man she went to bed with at night, and the only one she woke up with in the morning. He wanted to fight by her side, to father her children, to make her the lady of Rainesfere.
But Maker help him, he was failing. He could feel that in his bones too, and he couldn’t understand why.
Even so, giving up was not an option. He continued his relentless assault as long as he could, covering her body with his, pulling her tightly against him, and brushing her ear with his lips as he asked again and again, each time silently willing that this would be the moment that she broke and gave in.
She cried out another denial, quaking under his thrusts and he could feel the pleasure ripple through her muscles. His own body responded, the heat that had coiled in his loins burning white hot. He grasped for his self control, but it was slipping away quickly.
Instinct told him to bury himself deep within her to spill his seed. And an inner voice that was much louder than a whisper told him that getting her with child would be another way to triumph. Self loathing for considering such an abuse of her trust warred with his desperate need to make her his. The idea of her belly swelling with his babe pushed him over the edge, and with a cry he pulled away just in time to spill himself harmlessly over her thighs.
They stilled, and for a while the only sound in the room was the sound of their panting breath. They both clung to the table, until eventually he shifted into one of the nearby chairs, pulling her with him until she was on his lap. And when he was finally able to face his heartache, he cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her to face him. It didn’t occur that he would be facing her heartache too, but there it was plain on her face and in her dark brown eyes.
It cracked his resolve, but still he had to know. “Why, Cauthrien? Why won’t you marry me?”
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In silence, Cauthrien slid out of Teagan’s arms and rose. She walked over to where her shirt was crumpled on the table, picked it up and twisted it in her grip as her grief played across her face. “I don’t know how to explain it to you in a way you’ll understand.”
Even though his voice remained even, Loghain could tell the whelp was trying to keep his temper in check from the way his hands tightened into fists. “I think I deserve one.”
She met her lover’s gaze. “I’m a commoner.”
“I don’t care where you came from.”
She shook her head. “I know you don’t. But I do.”
Teagan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Is it because of Eamon? He will object, but he has no say in my choice.”
She sighed and pulled her shirt on. “No. It’s not because of your brother or because of you for that matter. You’re quite wonderful.”
The whelp turned away and stared into the fire. “Yes, I’m so wonderful that you refuse my hand.”
Silence fell between them. Cauthrien’s face twisted, but she closed her eyes and composed herself. There were no tears, and by the time she starting pulling her clothes back on, her shaking hands were the only betrayal of her disquiet.
She turned toward the door, but then hesitated. “I was born in a one room house with a dirt floor. I was one of seven filthy, half starved, illiterate children. The day that I found Teryn Loghain on the road, the only things I had to my name were a rusty blade and the rags on my back. I didn’t even own a pair of shoes.”
Her words seemed to draw the whelp out of his self pity, and threw Loghain back to the memory of too many people in a crowded ramshackle house. Of a pair of indifferent parents, happy to have one less mouth to feed. Of a skinny girl whose raw talent was being smothered by poverty and misery.
“He took me out of that. He brought me into his service, gave me training, had his tutors teach me how to read, how to fight and gave me a chance to prove my worth.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “If it hadn’t been for him, I would have ended up in a tiny house somewhere with seven of my own children to feed. I owe him everything.”
While Loghain knew that he’d had a hand in making her what she was today, he also knew she was wrong about this. She had too much stubborn determination to simply accept her lot in life.
Teagan rose, lacing up his breaches as he moved to where she stood. “So this is about gratitude then? Cauthrien, you must have repaid any debt you must have owed him five times over by now.”
“He has earned my loyalty.” And, Loghain reflected, she had earned his too, in ways that the whelp would never understand.
Teagan took her hands in his. “We can ask for his blessing if it makes you feel better. Surely he would allow you to leave his service?”
Teagan was right about that. If she asked him, he would set her free, but the loss would be… staggering.
“But I don’t want to leave his service. I’m a soldier. I’m his right hand because I am damn good at what I do. Marrying you would mean giving up everything I have worked for.”
“No,” he said. “There must be a way. Not everyone in the army is unmarried after all.”
“Almost all of them are men. Of the few married women there are, none are married to men of rank.” She withdrew her hands from his. “You are not just any man. You are a Bann with an estate and responsibilities. I would have duties as your wife - to take care of the estate, to bear and raise children, to stand by your side as you performed your social obligations. I could not do that and be his Lieutenant.”
Bitterness dripped from the whelp’s words. “You would rather be his second in command than my wife?”
“I have never lied to you, Teagan. I’ve made no demands of you. I’ve never asked for your fidelity or love, because I knew that it would not be fair.”
“Well you have it, whether you asked for it or not!”
Her face twisted as she stepped back. “You have mine too, but I will not marry you. I’m sorry.”
And then she was gone, leaving both men with an ache in their chest and darkness in their thoughts.
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The voice seemed to come out of thin air. “Well, that was a damn childish thing to do. That map was two hundred years old.”
Startled, Teagan spun around to see Loghain glowering down at him from the balcony above. For a moment confusion swamped him as he wondered how the hell the Teryn had gotten into the locked library.
“How long have you been standing there?” Teagan demanded.
“Long enough to know that I’m not going to need to replace my Lieutenant.”
Outrage that Loghain had witnessed something so wholly devastating and private made him made him clench his fists. “Do you make a habit of listening into people’s private conversations, Your Grace?”
Loghain’s cold blue gaze narrowed and dropped to Teagan’s bare chest. “After what happened in this room tonight, you’re going to lecture me on lurid behavior?”
Teagan swore, realizing Loghain had seen more than just his pride being torn to shreds. This man was Cauthrien’s lord and master, and his retribution could be terrible if his ire was raised against his Lieutenant. “Are you going to punish her for this?”
“No,” Loghain drawled. “I think you’ve already punished her enough.”
“You’ve revealed yourself to gloat over your victory then.”
“There was no victory here for anybody today,” Loghain snapped. “Only an idiot whelp too ignorant and too spoiled to understand the woman he claims to love.”
“And I suppose you do.” Jealousy ate at his heart, poisoning his words. Teagan threw his hands wide. “What am I saying? Of course you do! You’re the man who gave her everything.”
“All I gave her was a start. She earned everything she has, unlike you.”
Stung, Teagan growled. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” Loghain spoke as he descended the steps down into the main room. “You demand her hand without any comprehension about what it is that you’re asking her to give up. You don’t know a damn thing about her, because you were born into your title and rank and education. She has had to fight for hers, every step, past men of greater rank, men who called her my whore, because she happened to be a beautiful woman who had the audacity to be a better soldier and commander than them.”
“I know what they called her.” Teagan’s face darkened. He had witnessed some of the worst himself.
“Then you should know how much it cost her to get this far and respect her choice, instead of acting like a spoiled child who has been denied his favorite plaything.”
Teagan straightened to his full height and crossed his arms. “My favorite plaything, or yours?”
He had always thought the rumors of them sharing a bed were only the creation of small minded, vicious men, but what if there was some truth to the matter?
There was much satisfaction when he saw the Teryn’s face darken. “You are dangerously out of line, boy.”
Only Loghain would have the arrogance to call a man in his third decade ‘boy.’ Only Loghain would have the arrogance to think that his motives weren’t completely transparent.
“Am, I? Because I think you want her.” The more he studied the tightness on Loghain’s face, the more Teagan became certain of it. Jealousy tightened his chest as he wondered if Cauthrien returned the Teryn’s passion - if that wasn’t the true reason for her refusal.
“I am her Commander. She is my Lieutenant. She is loyal to me, as I her. Nothing more. To be otherwise would undermine her authority and destroy everything she has earned as surely as it would if she married you.”
Two pairs of blue eyes met as their gazes locked, and Teagan finally understood. Both wanted her, but she would belong to neither of them for exactly the same reason.
“I see.”
“Good.” Loghain paused before speaking further. “Your brother requests your presence. He wishes you to meet the Cousland girl. If you are looking for a wife, then that is where you should be.”
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“Then you are in for a great disappointment. Cauthrien will not allow this dalliance to get in the way of her duty.” He waved a dismissive hand in Teagan’s direction, as he walked towards the door. “And eventually you will tire of her resistance and take another as your bride.”
“No.” Teagan picked his doublet and shirt off the floor, shrugging one on over the other as he glared at the other man. “I will break this terrible hold you have on her.”
Loghain paused at the threshold of the door. “You will fail, because your ego cannot accept that she is exactly where she wants to be.”
Teagan watched the Teryn leave, his anger mounting again in response to the undeniable truth in Loghain’s words. After brooding in silence for awhile, Teagan stormed out of the war library, with every intention of washing his hands of Cauthrien and joining his brother at the ball. But when he stopped a few minutes later, it was in front of the door to her quarters.
He took a deep breath and knocked. When the door opened, Cauthrien appeared looking completely composed, other than her red rimmed eyes. Teagan knew that he shouldn’t be pleased, but that she cared enough about him to shed tears was a balm to his wounded pride.
“May I come in?” he asked.
She nodded in bewildered silence and stepped aside to let him pass. The door closed behind him, and she looked at him, waiting for him to speak. He raked a hand through his hair and began to pace the length of the room as he tried to form the right words. She watched him, wide-eyed until finally he stepped forward and took her hand in his.
“I’m sorry.”
Whatever she thought he was going to say, that wasn’t it. She blinked in obvious surprise.
“For what? For offering yourself to me?” She covered her heart with the palm of her hand. “I’m deeply touched and honored that you want to share your life with me that way.”
“For acting like a selfish ass. For not respecting your choice. For expecting you to drop everything you’ve earned and change completely, because I demanded it.” He sighed. “Shall I go on?”
“I hurt you. You were angry and there is nothing to apologize for.” She looked away and swallowed. “I always knew that one day this was going to have to end, I just thought that it would be because you would take another as your wife.”
His grip on her hand tightened the same way that fear tightened around his heart. “You want to end this?”
She looked back at him. “No, of course not, but I thought that you would now.”
Relieved, he tugged her closer and put a possessive arm around her waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her face softened as she sighed. “I’m still not going to marry you.”
“I know.” He took her into his arms and kissed her, reaching up and unbinding her hair and plunging his hand into the chestnut waves.
Eventually she pulled back from his embrace. “This isn’t fair to you, Teagan.”
“I will decide what is fair to me or not.” He rested his forehead against hers so he could look her right in the eye. “You are the only woman I want, and if I cannot take you as my wife, then I will take you whatever way I can, for as much and as long as you will allow it. If you will still have me, that is.”
She bit her lip. “I…” For a moment, he thought she was going to deny him. But her hands tightened around his shirt as pulled him closer. “I think I can live with that.”
The regret at what might have been was still painfully acute, but as Teagan lowered her down to the bed, he was surprised to discover that it was something he could live with as well.
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