(no subject)
As I sit here with the TV on mute and no one to interact with (even my cats have shunned me for Outside), I wonder why I'm all down in the dumps all of a sudden.
I just bought a new house! I should be excited and researching color combinations and awesome ways to do a kitchen that still fits with the style of my house!
I'm also feeling all of my introvertiness so I should be happy to not be forced to interact with people! When I have one of these spells, I absolutely ABHOR my job. Well, the going out and talking to people that might have no desire to speak with me aspect of my job. The sitting at my desk sharing "You would not believe THIS" stories with my coworkers? I can do that.
So what's up, Ms. Everything is Awesome?
I made the mistake of looking in a full-length mirror yesterday. And while I have known academically that I am overweight (and a lot more than I ever thought I'd let myself be) (AND I've lost 10 pounds since I started keeping track of it!) holy shit it hit me. Luke is an adorable, fit, healthy kid. He's almost got abs. He can do pull ups. (I thank karate. He's in the advanced class now, BTW and someone FINALLY corrected his jumping jack form last week since he wouldn't listen to me. And why should he? I look like I've never done a jumping jack in my life!)
That was a lot of parentheses and I apologize. Tl;dr: I'm fat and my kid is not.
The point is, I looked in that mirror and said to myself, "Holy shit, no wonder you haven't been asked out since Cameron." (worth noting at this point in my self-esteem spiral: Cameron first asked me out in summer of 2006.)
And since recently Subconscious's Best Friend has been "Fully Conscious and Still Around", that directly correlated to "I would never ever EVER (EVER) have a chance with him no matter what. Thank God he's never (correctly) interpreted my friendliness as bad awkward flirting."
I just bought a new house! I should be excited and researching color combinations and awesome ways to do a kitchen that still fits with the style of my house!
I'm also feeling all of my introvertiness so I should be happy to not be forced to interact with people! When I have one of these spells, I absolutely ABHOR my job. Well, the going out and talking to people that might have no desire to speak with me aspect of my job. The sitting at my desk sharing "You would not believe THIS" stories with my coworkers? I can do that.
So what's up, Ms. Everything is Awesome?
I made the mistake of looking in a full-length mirror yesterday. And while I have known academically that I am overweight (and a lot more than I ever thought I'd let myself be) (AND I've lost 10 pounds since I started keeping track of it!) holy shit it hit me. Luke is an adorable, fit, healthy kid. He's almost got abs. He can do pull ups. (I thank karate. He's in the advanced class now, BTW and someone FINALLY corrected his jumping jack form last week since he wouldn't listen to me. And why should he? I look like I've never done a jumping jack in my life!)
That was a lot of parentheses and I apologize. Tl;dr: I'm fat and my kid is not.
The point is, I looked in that mirror and said to myself, "Holy shit, no wonder you haven't been asked out since Cameron." (worth noting at this point in my self-esteem spiral: Cameron first asked me out in summer of 2006.)
And since recently Subconscious's Best Friend has been "Fully Conscious and Still Around", that directly correlated to "I would never ever EVER (EVER) have a chance with him no matter what. Thank God he's never (correctly) interpreted my friendliness as bad awkward flirting."