from feb14 2007
Things i got in a few e-mails;
...
An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote
mountainous
pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust
cloud
towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy,
"If I
tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will
you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation
system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-
resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an
MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with
email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
Cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
why
not?"
"You're a member of parliament for the Canadian Government", says the
cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much
smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
herd
of sheep. Now give me back my dog."
....
LADDER OF SUCCESS
100% I DID!
90% I WILL!
80% I CAN!
70% I THINK I CAN!
60% I MIGHT TRY!
50% I SUPPOSE I COULD TRY!
40% WHAT IS IT?
30% I WISH I COULD!
20% I DON'T KNOW!
10% I CAN'T!
0% I WON'T!
Change your energy, change your life!
....
You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?
...
An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote
mountainous
pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust
cloud
towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy,
"If I
tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will
you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation
system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-
resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an
MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with
email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
Cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
why
not?"
"You're a member of parliament for the Canadian Government", says the
cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much
smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
herd
of sheep. Now give me back my dog."
....
LADDER OF SUCCESS
100% I DID!
90% I WILL!
80% I CAN!
70% I THINK I CAN!
60% I MIGHT TRY!
50% I SUPPOSE I COULD TRY!
40% WHAT IS IT?
30% I WISH I COULD!
20% I DON'T KNOW!
10% I CAN'T!
0% I WON'T!
Change your energy, change your life!
....
You Are A Romantic
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?