Well well welllllll

[dragon_goddess]

I guess I've been kinda lax on writing in my journal. For shame on me.. lol. Anyway, I suppose I should start a little bit back. Yes, I have a lost my licence but it hasn't been that bad. I was a little worried that Jim and I wouldn't be able to hang out but we've been hanging out like every night. I really enjoy being in his company. I've had chipolte 3 times this week. LOL Which isn't all bad because I think it's mighty tasty. Even though I get the samething everytime I eat there. I spent father's day with Jim and Ryan. That was fun! I love his little boy. He's very charming like his father. I also went to church with Jim... that was rather interesting because I've never been to a Baptist service before. I think I would like to go again. I'm interested to see if I may make a change in religion. I can digest the things that Baptist believe a little easier then from a Catholic point of view. This is something that I have been struggling with for a long time. I think that perhaps I would like to be "saved". I also feel it would give me a stronger sense of actually belonging somewhere. In the Catholic church there is always this great distance between you and the priest. Whom, I use to think, could do no wrong what so ever. Once you find out they are real men there is always that shock of "it can't be true". Well, it is. They smoke, drink, and womanize. Just in a little more descreet manner. Funny... the hipocrites. I think that I need a fresh start with God.... I need to start talking to God a little bit more. I know that Jim would support me in this. I know religion is something that is important to him and in reality it's important to me too. I just have a hard time accepting God into my heart because of all the terrible things that have happened me. We won't get into all that but I've been angry at God for a very long, long time. I've been thinking about going to my church and taking up confession to start new. I know I don't have to do that to start new but once a catholic it's kinda hard to break the thought process. lol. Anyway perhaps it is time for me to move on with my anger and accept Him in my heart. I know I will be forgive because I am truely sorry for what I've done. I don't know I kinda need more time to think about this.. and talk about it...

Work tonight and show tonight after work. I don't want to go to work hopefully we'll be deathly slow.... although busy will make the time go by faster.

~*M*