Fic: De Profundis
Title: De Profundis
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 906
Warnings: Spoilers for the first episode of season 5
Summary: Bow before them, My children, for they are reflections of Me.
The first thing he lost was his fight against the Throne; a bitter defeat for him, the most glorious, most beautiful - the most troubled by their Father’s abandonment, his loss of interest in his children for other endeavors. There had been a time, bathed in light and love, when all knew the Father. Where his presence washed over his children; a blanket of warmth, of security, that could see them through any battle, any hardship. Lucifer couldn’t recall when that light began to dim. When the Father’s loving presence turned preoccupied, aloof, and finally cold.
As time passed and He remained distant concern gave way to confusion. What had they done, to deserve such treatment? Lucifer and his brothers spoke among themselves, trying to understand the will of He they exalted. Confusion became consternation, and finally anger. There was no crime, no mistake that justified their abandonment. Their prayers and pleas went unanswered, echoing in the halls of Heaven until they were filled to overflowing.
When his Father returned it was a balm to his grace, soothing the pain, erasing the doubt and fear. They were called to a speck in the vastness of creation, and shown what had captured His attention. The creatures were small, hairless, and capable of nothing so grand as to be worth notice by his Father. They roved in bands, huddling together for shelter against the darkness unaware of anything but their own hunger and thirst, but they were His creation. For that alone Lucifer would acknowledge them.
Bow before them, My children, for they are reflections of Me.
Even now, those words burned.
When he refused, it was as if the light, the love of his Father was ripped away. His kin lamented the change, puzzled and alone in this strange realm. Upon their return Heaven, the only home they’d known, was different, empty. The sucking pain, a constant of his existence for so long, resurfaced, and with it fear. It was then that Lucifer made his choice. If their Father refused to acknowledge them Lucifer would force Him.
Many answered his call; brothers and sisters, siblings all, who wanted nothing more than explanation. He never would he have imagined the blood of his kin flowing over his hands like water, the fields of Heaven littered with the remains of those lost in the fray. The memory of the first death, Uziel standing alone against the might of Michael’s forces, was enough to make agony, hot and raging, settle in his vessels chest. Uziel, who laughed at the spheres and danced to their music. Who took up his sword but refused to do more than defend himself against Seraphiel’s blows.
The first death, but not the last.
Lucifer fought against his brothers and sisters to the very foot of the Throne of Heaven, tearing through his kin to the Holy of Holies to find the Highest empty of all but the memory of what once was. He had screamed then, called for his Father to come to him, to see him, but there was no answer. Only the pale memory of light and love.
When his enemies overtook him there was little left of the first among equals. Without him his followers, who trusted him, who loved him, fell to Michael’s forces. He was sentenced, shackled, and thrown into nothingness. Rituals made to contain one of their own were sung around him, word and sigil carved into the vapor of his prison before he was shoved inside. The pain of being cast down, of being ripped from the very thing that made him, defined him, tore at his grace. What was once bright and shining grew dull and pitted. He waited, in those first moments of abandonment. Waited for his Father to come to him, to take him to his breast and forgive his haste, his lack of faith. For a chance to explain why he couldn’t see those small, hairless apes as being worthy of anything approaching the devotion he felt for Him.
How it hurt, more than the defeat, the humiliation, when there was no comfort to be had. Relegated to less than the nothing that surrounded him, and knowing that he would never be forgiven, never allowed to feel the presence of his Father again. Others were cast down with him and sunk into the void, shame and fear making them silent. But not him. He cried, begged forgiveness, submitted himself to any indignity, any punishment. Those pleas, like the others, went unanswered. Time, something once foreign to him, stretched into the abyss of his prison. As it passed Lucifer came to a realization.
He was forgotten.
Forgotten by those he called brother and kin. Forgotten by the Father who shaped him from the ether, who made him who he was, what he was, and then punished him for his actions. Who punished his brethren for following him, for daring to believe in something more than a Father who could cast them aside with such disregard.
I’m sorry.
Lucifer blinked. It was strange, being in this vessel. Nick, whose suffering and doubt were but a small fraction of his own, slipped through the cracks of his mind at times.
You see what I have suffered? Lucifer ran a hand over a palm frond. Why has this happened to us? Why were we abandoned?
As it had always been, there was no answer.
__________________________________________________________
Thanks for reading!
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 906
Warnings: Spoilers for the first episode of season 5
Summary: Bow before them, My children, for they are reflections of Me.
The first thing he lost was his fight against the Throne; a bitter defeat for him, the most glorious, most beautiful - the most troubled by their Father’s abandonment, his loss of interest in his children for other endeavors. There had been a time, bathed in light and love, when all knew the Father. Where his presence washed over his children; a blanket of warmth, of security, that could see them through any battle, any hardship. Lucifer couldn’t recall when that light began to dim. When the Father’s loving presence turned preoccupied, aloof, and finally cold.
As time passed and He remained distant concern gave way to confusion. What had they done, to deserve such treatment? Lucifer and his brothers spoke among themselves, trying to understand the will of He they exalted. Confusion became consternation, and finally anger. There was no crime, no mistake that justified their abandonment. Their prayers and pleas went unanswered, echoing in the halls of Heaven until they were filled to overflowing.
When his Father returned it was a balm to his grace, soothing the pain, erasing the doubt and fear. They were called to a speck in the vastness of creation, and shown what had captured His attention. The creatures were small, hairless, and capable of nothing so grand as to be worth notice by his Father. They roved in bands, huddling together for shelter against the darkness unaware of anything but their own hunger and thirst, but they were His creation. For that alone Lucifer would acknowledge them.
Bow before them, My children, for they are reflections of Me.
Even now, those words burned.
When he refused, it was as if the light, the love of his Father was ripped away. His kin lamented the change, puzzled and alone in this strange realm. Upon their return Heaven, the only home they’d known, was different, empty. The sucking pain, a constant of his existence for so long, resurfaced, and with it fear. It was then that Lucifer made his choice. If their Father refused to acknowledge them Lucifer would force Him.
Many answered his call; brothers and sisters, siblings all, who wanted nothing more than explanation. He never would he have imagined the blood of his kin flowing over his hands like water, the fields of Heaven littered with the remains of those lost in the fray. The memory of the first death, Uziel standing alone against the might of Michael’s forces, was enough to make agony, hot and raging, settle in his vessels chest. Uziel, who laughed at the spheres and danced to their music. Who took up his sword but refused to do more than defend himself against Seraphiel’s blows.
The first death, but not the last.
Lucifer fought against his brothers and sisters to the very foot of the Throne of Heaven, tearing through his kin to the Holy of Holies to find the Highest empty of all but the memory of what once was. He had screamed then, called for his Father to come to him, to see him, but there was no answer. Only the pale memory of light and love.
When his enemies overtook him there was little left of the first among equals. Without him his followers, who trusted him, who loved him, fell to Michael’s forces. He was sentenced, shackled, and thrown into nothingness. Rituals made to contain one of their own were sung around him, word and sigil carved into the vapor of his prison before he was shoved inside. The pain of being cast down, of being ripped from the very thing that made him, defined him, tore at his grace. What was once bright and shining grew dull and pitted. He waited, in those first moments of abandonment. Waited for his Father to come to him, to take him to his breast and forgive his haste, his lack of faith. For a chance to explain why he couldn’t see those small, hairless apes as being worthy of anything approaching the devotion he felt for Him.
How it hurt, more than the defeat, the humiliation, when there was no comfort to be had. Relegated to less than the nothing that surrounded him, and knowing that he would never be forgiven, never allowed to feel the presence of his Father again. Others were cast down with him and sunk into the void, shame and fear making them silent. But not him. He cried, begged forgiveness, submitted himself to any indignity, any punishment. Those pleas, like the others, went unanswered. Time, something once foreign to him, stretched into the abyss of his prison. As it passed Lucifer came to a realization.
He was forgotten.
Forgotten by those he called brother and kin. Forgotten by the Father who shaped him from the ether, who made him who he was, what he was, and then punished him for his actions. Who punished his brethren for following him, for daring to believe in something more than a Father who could cast them aside with such disregard.
I’m sorry.
Lucifer blinked. It was strange, being in this vessel. Nick, whose suffering and doubt were but a small fraction of his own, slipped through the cracks of his mind at times.
You see what I have suffered? Lucifer ran a hand over a palm frond. Why has this happened to us? Why were we abandoned?
As it had always been, there was no answer.
__________________________________________________________
Thanks for reading!