(no subject)
Everything arounds me changes, except what I want to. Sometimes the change you fear the most can be for the best in the long run, no matter how bad living through every second of it is. The changes you want to see may occur, but never how you wanted them to. I am still in pain for losing all that I thought I had, although now with the advantage of hindsight I see it wasn't as good as it seemed. In the changes that have come so recently all that i wanted to grow and progress ended up regressing, but because it did so I have the opportunity for something more fulfilling. Everyone called me crazy for what I expected, and now I have joined them. I will find someone that gives back to me as much, if not more, than I put in. I don't know who or what I may have missed out on in the past year and a half, but I know I've found a friend, which is priceless in the end. Fate doesn't like me, it fucks with my head, but I know that somehow I'll be repaid for all the good that I've done cuz I damn well deserve it. I'm truly sorry things did not work out the way I wished for us Carolann, but I couldn't offer anything to make you happy that I didn't give you from the start. You've been my best friend for a long time now, and you know that the few friendships I have are ones which are unbreakable like we've proved ours can be. I'm glad I still have you to talk to since I've rarely found anyone I can be as honest with and as comfortable around. I hope we never have another problem that creates an awkward silence between us again because it has been hell. I loved you so dearly and broke my heart yet again, but nothing can erase my love for you completely, it is still there as the love of a friend. Goodbye my lover, my hunee, my sweetie, and babe. But hello to new lives and two still inseperable friends.