Randomalia
Christian just picked Ollie up, threw him down on the couch, straddled him, and threatened to suffocate him with a pillow while saying cute, happy, bantering things in German
HOW did I become invested in this story line? I don't even know what show it's from! And yet here I sit, watching YouTube snippets of an unknown soap-opera in a language I don't speak, despite not having time to keep up on my shows in English.
*shakes fist at my poly-fannish slashy flist*
Random: Rhythmic Gymnastics is mesmerizing. It totally shouldn't be an Olympic sport. Cirque du Soleil act yes, Olympic sport no. But... can't... look... away...
I think my eyes have been bigger than my stomach, writing-wise, recently. I want to write SO MUCH. My fingers just itch with it, but I have so little time. I think I will be defaulting on things (either actual commitments or personal deadlines) in the next two weeks.
I have lived in Dallas for six months now and do not have a friend here. Not one.
I mean, I love my book club, but FRIENDS aren't happening. And tutoring is much better work than anything else I can get here (even if I could get anything else here, which isn't happening) but it's completely solitary, and tends to eat up my evenings. Especially when I am desperate enough for the money that I don't set good enough boundaries about what time I want to keep free- I just gave away my board game evening to a student.
And I have loved getting back to the gym and working out, but that's completely solitary for me as well. I know for some people it isn't- but for me it is. I am debating the local Masters' swim team here, but that would be more expensive than my current gym membership. The extra money might be worth it, though, just for basic human contact- I literally see no one except grocery store clerks and students these days.
This is, admittedly, at least in part for lack of trying- I didn't pursue a couple social things in April-July because I was just preferring to be alone. But on the few occasions I have pursued friend-making stuff, it turns out that I am utter crap at meeting people on anything other than a romantic model. Hell, I kind of accidentally fell into dating this one guy simply because that was the only way I could figure out to spend time with another human being. I was not even remotely attracted to him. Pathetic, no? Since resolved.
Also, lack of sexual contact is slowly driving me mad. I've been avoiding porn in my recent writing spree just because I know it will fuck with me. (Yaay for being jealous of your own fictional characters.) I seem to be able to go about a month before I give in to a random vanilla-guy hookup. I'm coming up on the month now. This solution is not ideal, to say the least. I have not pursued the real-life kink scene at all, no matter how very, very much I want to. The reasons for that are many, and the subject of another entry.
Resolved: Make efforts to set better time-off boundaries with students, get my Tuesday and Saturday evenings back so I can play board games again. Start dancing again when it gets cool enough that I will not pass out from heat exhaustion. Make a serious effort to get the money together for that swim team. Work on screwing up my courage for the local BDSM munch
HOW did I become invested in this story line? I don't even know what show it's from! And yet here I sit, watching YouTube snippets of an unknown soap-opera in a language I don't speak, despite not having time to keep up on my shows in English.
*shakes fist at my poly-fannish slashy flist*
Random: Rhythmic Gymnastics is mesmerizing. It totally shouldn't be an Olympic sport. Cirque du Soleil act yes, Olympic sport no. But... can't... look... away...
I think my eyes have been bigger than my stomach, writing-wise, recently. I want to write SO MUCH. My fingers just itch with it, but I have so little time. I think I will be defaulting on things (either actual commitments or personal deadlines) in the next two weeks.
I have lived in Dallas for six months now and do not have a friend here. Not one.
I mean, I love my book club, but FRIENDS aren't happening. And tutoring is much better work than anything else I can get here (even if I could get anything else here, which isn't happening) but it's completely solitary, and tends to eat up my evenings. Especially when I am desperate enough for the money that I don't set good enough boundaries about what time I want to keep free- I just gave away my board game evening to a student.
And I have loved getting back to the gym and working out, but that's completely solitary for me as well. I know for some people it isn't- but for me it is. I am debating the local Masters' swim team here, but that would be more expensive than my current gym membership. The extra money might be worth it, though, just for basic human contact- I literally see no one except grocery store clerks and students these days.
This is, admittedly, at least in part for lack of trying- I didn't pursue a couple social things in April-July because I was just preferring to be alone. But on the few occasions I have pursued friend-making stuff, it turns out that I am utter crap at meeting people on anything other than a romantic model. Hell, I kind of accidentally fell into dating this one guy simply because that was the only way I could figure out to spend time with another human being. I was not even remotely attracted to him. Pathetic, no? Since resolved.
Also, lack of sexual contact is slowly driving me mad. I've been avoiding porn in my recent writing spree just because I know it will fuck with me. (Yaay for being jealous of your own fictional characters.) I seem to be able to go about a month before I give in to a random vanilla-guy hookup. I'm coming up on the month now. This solution is not ideal, to say the least. I have not pursued the real-life kink scene at all, no matter how very, very much I want to. The reasons for that are many, and the subject of another entry.
Resolved: Make efforts to set better time-off boundaries with students, get my Tuesday and Saturday evenings back so I can play board games again. Start dancing again when it gets cool enough that I will not pass out from heat exhaustion. Make a serious effort to get the money together for that swim team. Work on screwing up my courage for the local BDSM munch