Olympics!
Swimming! Phelps is not quite doing it for me as replacement crush-object; he is not as cute as he was eight or even four years ago. I mean, I guess he will have to do. I miss Ian Thorpe so freakin much. At least Pieter van den Hoogenband is back- seeing all three of them in a pool together was the highlight of my Olympic-watching life. I would swear Dana Torres is doping- and if she isn't, what the hell is up with all that protesting-too-much crap about miracle supplements?- which is severely limiting my enjoyment of the women's side. Jenny Thompson made a much better den-mother. But Katie Hoff looks like a likeable enough rising star, and I don't know as much about Natalie Coughlin as I should... But the Aussies, the British, and the Dutch are all putting up strong showings- I don't know anything about the Chinese team. I should look that up. Oh! And I will get to see Grant Hackett swim the 1500 again, which pretty much makes my summer.
Oh. I'm sorry. Was I babbling at ludicrous length about a sport nobody cares about? But that's what the Olympics are for!
Also! Hours and hours and hours of men's gymnastics. Highly disappointing without the Hamm brothers to oogle. Only one of the American team worth looking at is Alex Artemev- good on the pommel horse, nice cheekbones (Look, I have never, in my entire life, pretended not to be shallow). Also Raj whatshisname, compact little powerhouse on vault. But really, poor showing. Chinese team so drastically better than us that NBC announcers' little pretend rivalry begins to seem ridiculous. Stop assuaging my patriotism already, and show me the Chinese, Japanese, and Russians now please?
When did the leg flares on the pommel horse go out of style? Those were my favorite bits. And I'm hardly seeing them on the floor, either. Lack of showmanship there. Though, really, it begins to seem like the entire gymnastic community kind of went "pommel horse? Fuck that" this Olympics. Half the Japanese and Russian teams didn't even bother to stay on the bloody thing. But speaking of the floor exercise (and I say this every Olympics, mind), can we get these men some choreography already? I mean, the women put on music and dance gracefully between their powerhouse tumbling, the least the men can do is try to keep up. They all look awkward and stilted and stiff between moves. Pick some music! Take some ballet lessons! Really, you are already prancing about in a leotard and stirrup pants, so it's not like your machismo will be threatened.
Video of womens' qualifiers not online yet. Apparently most disappointing. Dammit, my earliest memories are of the Magnificent Seven- not acceptable!
Also: Cross-country equestrian, beach volleyball (this one wasn't my fault, it was on at the gym), diving, and the very exciting men's cycle race.
Cannot WAIT for track and field to start. Gotta see those pole vaulters. Plus, decathaletes have the best bodies of all Olympians (see above re: being shallow). Also coming up, my thrilling secret Olympic minor-sport obsession: the white-water kayaking. Give it a go, it's the best watching of the entire summer games.
I get like this every four years. It's scary. Seriously, somebody needs to stop me before this gets way out of ha-- ooh! Badminton!
Oh. I'm sorry. Was I babbling at ludicrous length about a sport nobody cares about? But that's what the Olympics are for!
Also! Hours and hours and hours of men's gymnastics. Highly disappointing without the Hamm brothers to oogle. Only one of the American team worth looking at is Alex Artemev- good on the pommel horse, nice cheekbones (Look, I have never, in my entire life, pretended not to be shallow). Also Raj whatshisname, compact little powerhouse on vault. But really, poor showing. Chinese team so drastically better than us that NBC announcers' little pretend rivalry begins to seem ridiculous. Stop assuaging my patriotism already, and show me the Chinese, Japanese, and Russians now please?
When did the leg flares on the pommel horse go out of style? Those were my favorite bits. And I'm hardly seeing them on the floor, either. Lack of showmanship there. Though, really, it begins to seem like the entire gymnastic community kind of went "pommel horse? Fuck that" this Olympics. Half the Japanese and Russian teams didn't even bother to stay on the bloody thing. But speaking of the floor exercise (and I say this every Olympics, mind), can we get these men some choreography already? I mean, the women put on music and dance gracefully between their powerhouse tumbling, the least the men can do is try to keep up. They all look awkward and stilted and stiff between moves. Pick some music! Take some ballet lessons! Really, you are already prancing about in a leotard and stirrup pants, so it's not like your machismo will be threatened.
Video of womens' qualifiers not online yet. Apparently most disappointing. Dammit, my earliest memories are of the Magnificent Seven- not acceptable!
Also: Cross-country equestrian, beach volleyball (this one wasn't my fault, it was on at the gym), diving, and the very exciting men's cycle race.
Cannot WAIT for track and field to start. Gotta see those pole vaulters. Plus, decathaletes have the best bodies of all Olympians (see above re: being shallow). Also coming up, my thrilling secret Olympic minor-sport obsession: the white-water kayaking. Give it a go, it's the best watching of the entire summer games.
I get like this every four years. It's scary. Seriously, somebody needs to stop me before this gets way out of ha-- ooh! Badminton!