I just spent four straight hours flirting with the handyman putting up the ceiling fans. Seriously. 34 years old, 6 foot, slim and muscled, Texas accent and Texas charm, perfect tan- the whole nine yards. I swear to god, he was trying to kill me. By the time he was done, I had told him that those jeans made his ass look great (they did) and that he had fantastic hands (he DID. REALLY).
*facepalm* Think I need a cold shower.
Ep 1: In mourning for James Spader. Love MacGyver way way more than I remembered even. Man, Sam Carter's introduction sure is heavy-handed, no? Not shipping Jack/Daniel (didn't in the movie either).
Ep 2: NOOOO! Not Kowalski! He was the only Miscellaneous Military Person I could tell apart! I LOVED him!
Ep 3: Nevermind, I like Sam.
Ep 4: SEX POLLEN! Sam Carter is hot. Will refrain from feminist meta about how the virus was violence for the men and sex pollen for the women. Still in mourning for James Spader.
Ep 5: Dude, I love this show. (Still not shipping Jack/Daniel)
Ep 6: Waiting on the edge of my seat for Teal'c to display a facial expression.
Ep 7: Yaay for thinly veiled allegories about America's mid and late-90s liberal anxiety about our expanding desire to police the world! Oh dated SF, how I &hearts you.
Ep 8: Richard Dean Anderson rocks. I've even started thinking of him as "Jack" instead of "MacGyver." Still in mourning for James Spader, but it's taking more and more determination to stay that way in the face of Michael Shanks' prettiness.
Ep 9: Yaay for mytharc! (Still not shipping Jack/Daniel, but it's getting close now)
Ep 10: Okay, screw James Spader. I LOVE this Daniel.
Ep 11: MY GOD, WE HAVE FACIAL EXPRESSION! TEAL'C DISPLAYS FACIAL EXPRESSION!
Ep 12: Daniel Jackson is officially one of the five hottest television characters ever created. I want to tear off his dorky glasses and tangle my hands in his sexy floppy hair and push him down and do ridiculously dirty things to him while making him, you know, translate Akkadian for me. HOT HOT HOT.
Ep 13: I am so hot for Sam Carter right now.
Janet: (cleaning up larva mess) Maybe even find some DNA.
Daniel: A lot of that will probably be mine...
Jack: (pause) Eew.
Daniel: Yeah.
Just TWO WORDS. Just a TWO WORD exchange there. *loves forever*
My god, this show is just setting the SF cliches up and then knocking them down, no? At this rate, they won't have any cliches left for next season! But no, really. Within a week- literally, that short a time- Stargate has become one of the fandoms that makes my heart SING. Like, get up and dance about the living room giggling happily. I am about to go plunder recs and read voraciously. It has eaten me, and it is cheesy and pretty and shiny and I just want to ROLL AROUND IN IT. New-fandom love, new character crush. It's such a GOOD feeling.
I signed up to rec Chronicles of Narnia for
crack_van. I am so insanely nervous about this. I pulled up every Narnia fic I've EVER READ in tabs (about 45), eliminated all the ones that sucked (down to 30), then eliminated all the ones already reccd on
crack_van (down to 20, losing many of my very favorites). Now I'm rereading them all and sorting them by category and writing notes and EEK I want to do a good job of this cause
crack_van is like, a fannish institution, yk? SO NERVOUS!
First rec
here So back at Escapde I was saying how much I wanted a "Vid Watching 101" panel, and just today someone has gone and
done it!. It turns out that
thefourthvine is a fantastically funny person who does tons and tons of good vid recs and has written all these metas about vids and watching vids and *eeee* I know what I'll be doing with all my time for the next week. I almost ruptured something reading her
Anime Vids for Media Fans, I was laughing so hard. A must for anyone who, like me, loves to make fun of anime.
Plus, that link-chain led to a community-
strangefandom. The basic premise is: Take some poor souls who have NEVER SEEN ANY CANON in some fandom, have them watch some pre-selected vids, and have them give you their summary of what they THINK that show must be about. Seriously, it's brilliant.
Some relevant bits, from Star Trek (TOS):
"Larry, Curly and Moe, (Moe being the one with the eyebrows) are employed by the government to investigate strange happenings and kiss beautiful women as soon as look at them while wearing some sort of uniform."
"Captain Scowl pilots a spaceship that travels through time. Members of his crew include: First Mate Intense, an alien officer who starts out as Scowl's best friend and confidant; Officer Redhead, the muscle; Officer Giant Hair, the stand-around-looking-surprised-er; Shirtless Nut, who is a member of the crew, but has periodic freakouts; Dr. Blue Scrubs, the ship doctor; Officer Miniskirt, who actually operates the ship; and Officer Sprightly, whose only purpose appears to be DANCE!"
"So, this fandom is about people (aliens? Life-forms?) who wear bright-colored PJ-like uniforms and share long, pointed stares with each other. Might be part of some alien ritual, must-maintain-eye-contact-to-share-thoughts, that kind of thing... Spock’s boyfriend (they do most of the staring) is the one in yellow. Until yellow guy goes away and kisses a woman! Oh noes! Spock isn’t pleased, or maybe he is, it’s hard to tell with the eyebrows."
From SG1:
"I also knew SG-1 was the Sesame Street to SGA’s Bert and Ernie show"
"It's comprised of a flippant military dude named MacGuyver, an anthropologist/linguist named Fluffy who dies a lot, a military/science babe of awesomeness named Sam, and a Klingon."
"Teal'c who comes off sort of like a heavily sedated Vulcan"
"Based on these three vids this is not a show the fandom takes entirely seriously. I’m just saying."
"There’s an army guy with the same hair as Han Solo, a doctor (glasses = science person, everyone knows that) with the same hair as Luke Skywalker, a woman with hair so obviously Leia and a hot black guy with no hair so obviously Chewbacca."
"None of the major characters seem to be sexing other major characters, which is really quite remarkable, and Fluffy has not died once. Fandom promised me team orgies and canon death. *pout*"
And, for the grand prize, about Doctor Who:
As suspected, this fandom is all about some blond Fairuza Balk look-alike (who I assume is Rose), and her quest for a decent boyfriend. It actually kind of reminds me of that Tom Robbins novel, Still Life With Woodpecker, about a princess who falls in love with an arsonist. But instead of sort of mellowing each other out, Rose is like, "Fuck yeah, let's keep blowing up buildings, and also possibly destroying the lives of my loved ones, who are mostly acclaimed British actors!" And so things are good for a while, but then eventually, Rose starts wanting a little variety, and maybe starts craving experience with more intense sex toys (Daleks). So her boyfriend is like, "Screw that! I'm going to become a WHOLE NEW DUDE FOR YOU!" And it's glorious! The two of them hold hands and blow shit up, and spend lots of time tossing their heads back and laughing and laughing. They also seem to have picked up the drag queen from Kinky Boots, which is pretty cool. However, once she'd had some robot lovin', Rose apparently could not. turn. away. and so she dumped her human boyfriend and ditched all her flesh-friends and just stood around with the Daleks all the time, grooving on how they looked so much like giant condiment dispensers. Her friends tried to stage an intervention, and her boyfriend was even all, "Fuck you, I'll make myself PART-MACHINE. I CAN SPIT FIRE. I CAN SPIT FIRE." but that didn't really work, either? And so in the end, he had to just console himself with his Tardis and whoever the sassy boy in the white tank-top was (I know straight dudes, and that was no straight-dude "I'm sorry your girlfriend dumped you for a crappy villain machine thing" kind of kiss. Just sayin'). I still, in all honesty, do not understand who the hell has a medical degree on this show...is the title sarcastic? Like, "Doctor *who*, asshole?"
This is the best idea for a com EVER.
And one of the Stranger in a Strange Fandom sets was for Donnie Darko. Here's one poor Stranger's guess as to what Donnie Darko is actually about:
Donnie Darko is a teenage emo-boy with messy dark hair. He goes to school in a big, forbidding-looking building, where everyone wears school uniforms. Something really important happens on or around Halloween. Time travel is involved, as is a scary-looking creature who is kind of humanoid but has a monster-like face, who it appears is threatening Donnie but can't actually hurt him. Donnie's eyes are important for some reason. Put these all together, and it's obvious what the fandom is about.
That's right: Donnie Darko is a Harry Potter American high school AU.
I just... can't even... *dies*
I have already laughed more at the time of this writing (10:00 am) than I have in possibly the last three months put together. What would I do without fandom?