This is a huge amount of navel-gazing y'all aren't interested in.
The Guardian's books section has an absolutely wonderful little article on characterization. I don't agree with it all, of course, or even most of it, and it heavily privileges "great literature." But I am moved by the slightly floundering attempt of one man to ask "what makes a fictional character?" and to identify what exactly fascinates him about certain characters.
Mom called on Sunday with a proposal. They need someone in Dallas to keep tabs on the business now that uncle Tim isn't helping out anymore. It would be for a few months, and the RV is still down there, so I would drive my car over and live in that. It's certainly not full-time work, so I would have to get something part-time, but I was asking to learn about the business, and trying to do that from here isn't working right now. Mom pointed out, correctly, that I'm not particularly tied to one city or one job right now.
I have to admit this is kind of an identity thing for me. I want to be the kind of person who does things like that, picks up and moves, sees this as a cool opportunity. The only way to become that person is to, you know, suck it up and become that person, and this is the time of my life it's going to happen, if ever. And given how differently I reacted to this now compared to how I would have a year ago, I'm already a long way on that road.
It will be hard- I already feel like I have an attachment here. But it's only for 2-3 months, and the attachments here are relatively easy to come back to. Plus, I've moved so much of my social life online into fandom, so that makes moving easier. Also, me feeling attached here after only 4 months says good things for my ability to handle this kind of change, and that only gets better with practice, right? Besides, I said I wanted to solve my Dustin-angst by just making sure I keep growing as a person on my own in any way I can, and right now, this is how I do that.
But... why DALLAS? Why couldn't dad have gotten into real estate in Austin or San Antonio? Or, y'know, Boston or San Francisco?
So. Just how guilty will I feel over leaving this job just as they start restructuring things assuming I'm sticking around? How do you get reliable fast Internet access in an RV park? how possible is it to get short-term part-time work for any decent wage in Dallas right now? What's the financial rundown? I suspect they're planning on giving me nothing except the rental on the RV, and that's problematic, because getting a part time job could be quite hard there. I'm saving a good chunk here, and I have no desire to go way into the red just for the joy of living in Dallas, you know? So that has to be talked about.
Anyway, it will be good to live alone for a little bit. Plus, I'll probably be less frustrated by my non-existent sex-life if it's a function of distance than... whatever the hell it is now.
So, all in all, that's very exciting.
Eyes, season 1
I didn't watch Firefly in its original run, so Eyes is pretty much my primary experience of watching a TV show die before its time (murdered by ABC much the same ways Fox murdered Firefly- moving timeslots, showing episodes out of order, etc- but much more speedily. Eyes lasted five episodes in the US and 7 more abroad).
It's a detective procedural, except about a PI firm instead of a government agency. As you can imagine, this leaves a lot more room for hijinks and some definitely different priorities. It lets the show be constantly obsessed with morality, especially the tension between doing what's right and what's necessary (bribes, blackmail, intimidation, obstruction, just plain letting bad guys go) in order to obtain the most profitable outcome for the firm and client, often in situations where justice is just not a likely outcome.
The main character, Harlan, sees himself as a completely amoral person. The viewers see him more clearly- a creative character who prizes the achievable over the ideal and displays an almost limitless talent for making the profitable and the moral outcomes coincide, reaching the right end by the most wrong possible means and justifications. He is brilliant, rash, stubborn, resistant to authority, and easily bored. It's that combination that's responsible for the fact that he (according to his second in command Chris) causes all his own problems. He sees other people more clearly than he sees himself, and seems to have some self-image issues, in that he's actually bought into his amoral self-presentation, and now stands by it even though he doesn't actually like it. He also has a relentlessly distinctive snarky dialog voice. All in all, a spectacular character to hang a show on.
There are other good characters- Jeff is a two faced manipulative bastard who never sinks to actual evil. There are delightful geeks and awkward characters who are nevertheless very good at what they do in unexpected ways. Trish is cheap trash, except that she's actually a spectacular woman who has never been able to escape that reputation and is struggling to hold on to some shred of self respect despite it.
Best of all is Chris, a gay black man, ex-FBI, who was institutionalized for a time (presumably PTSD) between his FBI and PI stints. The character works largely because those things- gay and post-traumatic- are simply facts about the character, two facts among many. (Though his moment facing down a skinhead making death threats against his ex-lover just made the character- "I grew up gay in a world full of people like you. Go on, hit me. What makes you think I can't hit back?") Other facts about him: he has an immense respect for the work of the FBI, but a keen sense of their relative strengths and weaknesses. He has a far better grasp of actual consequences than Harlan, and is less willing to let others suffer for his stubbornness or pride. He is unfailingly loyal but willing to walk out on something he thinks is wrong. He acts as a straight man for the sometimes childish and over the top Harlan, without ever being made to look ridiculous or stodgy (consider this the more grown-up, more respectful version of the dynamic in Psych). He is never denied his own wry, resigned sense of humor (when he tells Harlan "you need to be verbally housetrained" it's pretty much the best line of the show).
So, the plots suck- but hey, it's a detective procedural- but there is snarky dialog you find yourself wanting to quote weeks later, there are good characters you think about, including a wonderfully slashy OTP, and at 12 episodes, it doesn't have time to get stale. What more could one ask?
Mom called on Sunday with a proposal. They need someone in Dallas to keep tabs on the business now that uncle Tim isn't helping out anymore. It would be for a few months, and the RV is still down there, so I would drive my car over and live in that. It's certainly not full-time work, so I would have to get something part-time, but I was asking to learn about the business, and trying to do that from here isn't working right now. Mom pointed out, correctly, that I'm not particularly tied to one city or one job right now.
I have to admit this is kind of an identity thing for me. I want to be the kind of person who does things like that, picks up and moves, sees this as a cool opportunity. The only way to become that person is to, you know, suck it up and become that person, and this is the time of my life it's going to happen, if ever. And given how differently I reacted to this now compared to how I would have a year ago, I'm already a long way on that road.
It will be hard- I already feel like I have an attachment here. But it's only for 2-3 months, and the attachments here are relatively easy to come back to. Plus, I've moved so much of my social life online into fandom, so that makes moving easier. Also, me feeling attached here after only 4 months says good things for my ability to handle this kind of change, and that only gets better with practice, right? Besides, I said I wanted to solve my Dustin-angst by just making sure I keep growing as a person on my own in any way I can, and right now, this is how I do that.
But... why DALLAS? Why couldn't dad have gotten into real estate in Austin or San Antonio? Or, y'know, Boston or San Francisco?
So. Just how guilty will I feel over leaving this job just as they start restructuring things assuming I'm sticking around? How do you get reliable fast Internet access in an RV park? how possible is it to get short-term part-time work for any decent wage in Dallas right now? What's the financial rundown? I suspect they're planning on giving me nothing except the rental on the RV, and that's problematic, because getting a part time job could be quite hard there. I'm saving a good chunk here, and I have no desire to go way into the red just for the joy of living in Dallas, you know? So that has to be talked about.
Anyway, it will be good to live alone for a little bit. Plus, I'll probably be less frustrated by my non-existent sex-life if it's a function of distance than... whatever the hell it is now.
So, all in all, that's very exciting.
Eyes, season 1
I didn't watch Firefly in its original run, so Eyes is pretty much my primary experience of watching a TV show die before its time (murdered by ABC much the same ways Fox murdered Firefly- moving timeslots, showing episodes out of order, etc- but much more speedily. Eyes lasted five episodes in the US and 7 more abroad).
It's a detective procedural, except about a PI firm instead of a government agency. As you can imagine, this leaves a lot more room for hijinks and some definitely different priorities. It lets the show be constantly obsessed with morality, especially the tension between doing what's right and what's necessary (bribes, blackmail, intimidation, obstruction, just plain letting bad guys go) in order to obtain the most profitable outcome for the firm and client, often in situations where justice is just not a likely outcome.
The main character, Harlan, sees himself as a completely amoral person. The viewers see him more clearly- a creative character who prizes the achievable over the ideal and displays an almost limitless talent for making the profitable and the moral outcomes coincide, reaching the right end by the most wrong possible means and justifications. He is brilliant, rash, stubborn, resistant to authority, and easily bored. It's that combination that's responsible for the fact that he (according to his second in command Chris) causes all his own problems. He sees other people more clearly than he sees himself, and seems to have some self-image issues, in that he's actually bought into his amoral self-presentation, and now stands by it even though he doesn't actually like it. He also has a relentlessly distinctive snarky dialog voice. All in all, a spectacular character to hang a show on.
There are other good characters- Jeff is a two faced manipulative bastard who never sinks to actual evil. There are delightful geeks and awkward characters who are nevertheless very good at what they do in unexpected ways. Trish is cheap trash, except that she's actually a spectacular woman who has never been able to escape that reputation and is struggling to hold on to some shred of self respect despite it.
Best of all is Chris, a gay black man, ex-FBI, who was institutionalized for a time (presumably PTSD) between his FBI and PI stints. The character works largely because those things- gay and post-traumatic- are simply facts about the character, two facts among many. (Though his moment facing down a skinhead making death threats against his ex-lover just made the character- "I grew up gay in a world full of people like you. Go on, hit me. What makes you think I can't hit back?") Other facts about him: he has an immense respect for the work of the FBI, but a keen sense of their relative strengths and weaknesses. He has a far better grasp of actual consequences than Harlan, and is less willing to let others suffer for his stubbornness or pride. He is unfailingly loyal but willing to walk out on something he thinks is wrong. He acts as a straight man for the sometimes childish and over the top Harlan, without ever being made to look ridiculous or stodgy (consider this the more grown-up, more respectful version of the dynamic in Psych). He is never denied his own wry, resigned sense of humor (when he tells Harlan "you need to be verbally housetrained" it's pretty much the best line of the show).
So, the plots suck- but hey, it's a detective procedural- but there is snarky dialog you find yourself wanting to quote weeks later, there are good characters you think about, including a wonderfully slashy OTP, and at 12 episodes, it doesn't have time to get stale. What more could one ask?