(no subject)
I feel a release of personality. My friend told me on Firday, "you need to make yourself happy." I'm not sure whether or not his statement was an earnest observation of myself, especially when it was said in such a drunken stupor, but the impact is pretty incredible. The things I am doing, were they actually making me happy? I was slacking in my schoolwork, demotivated and uninterested, but my grades were making that feeling even worse. Putting effort into something which will amount to nothing is easy, but the rewards are few and far between, and the repercussions could have a greater impact.
Yesterday, I said no. I acknowledged the offer, gave my reason for declining, thanked him, and said no. I even argued through his logic for slacking off. I felt pretty proud. He looked pretty impressed. I took the little time I had to go grocery shopping and treated myself to a lasagna. I had stucked to my guns.
That day, I had also stuck pretty close with my routine. I deviated a bit in the beginning (I ate breakfast in class at around 930 which pushed back my eating times) but by the end of the day, after missing the bus and buying groceries and sitting down to some lasagna and merlot, I felt satisfied. I procrastinated a bit on studying (thank you disney channel and Ratatouille), but I got it done in the end. The amount of work I have done has been continual, and though some things have not come to fruition yet, steady precision, practice, and repetition will make a mockery of a molehill and give me focus.
A couple of times, I started to get annoyed. I was trying to get a ride from my friend in the morning, but her lapse in thinking deterred her, and I ran for the bus. After class, I went to the library to read, and tried with all my might to pull myself from my material with enough time to grab Krishna lunch and go into work. At work, I was training a new person who would take over for my position in Fall, and though I had tons of work piling up, I had to make sure he understood the process we were doing without focusing on the advanced nature of the material. After work, I had tried to attend a Zumba class at the rec center and showed up 15 mins early only to find out that all of the numbers had been taken already. Finally, I had an ethical battle for my precious time, which is supposed to be devoted to studying on Monday night (especially when I have a test the next day).
This situations provided good insights however. Despite deviation, I had planned my morning on a whim with enough time to make it to class giving me a sense of self-efficacy and determination. My mind may have hurt after studying so much, but I got the material out of the way and developed a well-formulated question of the material blocking my comprehension (and successfully confirmed the answer). I also was able to get a refill of Krishna lunch that I stored for tomorrow. :] My training procedure did not go as expected, so I learned not to push or reform material to soften it, because it only put me behind in my work. Summer A is busier than expected (especially when it rains), so I should take close to the same precautions I would with regards to the gym as I would in Spring or Fall. Lastly, I stuck to my guns!!!!!!!
Yesterday, I said no. I acknowledged the offer, gave my reason for declining, thanked him, and said no. I even argued through his logic for slacking off. I felt pretty proud. He looked pretty impressed. I took the little time I had to go grocery shopping and treated myself to a lasagna. I had stucked to my guns.
That day, I had also stuck pretty close with my routine. I deviated a bit in the beginning (I ate breakfast in class at around 930 which pushed back my eating times) but by the end of the day, after missing the bus and buying groceries and sitting down to some lasagna and merlot, I felt satisfied. I procrastinated a bit on studying (thank you disney channel and Ratatouille), but I got it done in the end. The amount of work I have done has been continual, and though some things have not come to fruition yet, steady precision, practice, and repetition will make a mockery of a molehill and give me focus.
A couple of times, I started to get annoyed. I was trying to get a ride from my friend in the morning, but her lapse in thinking deterred her, and I ran for the bus. After class, I went to the library to read, and tried with all my might to pull myself from my material with enough time to grab Krishna lunch and go into work. At work, I was training a new person who would take over for my position in Fall, and though I had tons of work piling up, I had to make sure he understood the process we were doing without focusing on the advanced nature of the material. After work, I had tried to attend a Zumba class at the rec center and showed up 15 mins early only to find out that all of the numbers had been taken already. Finally, I had an ethical battle for my precious time, which is supposed to be devoted to studying on Monday night (especially when I have a test the next day).
This situations provided good insights however. Despite deviation, I had planned my morning on a whim with enough time to make it to class giving me a sense of self-efficacy and determination. My mind may have hurt after studying so much, but I got the material out of the way and developed a well-formulated question of the material blocking my comprehension (and successfully confirmed the answer). I also was able to get a refill of Krishna lunch that I stored for tomorrow. :] My training procedure did not go as expected, so I learned not to push or reform material to soften it, because it only put me behind in my work. Summer A is busier than expected (especially when it rains), so I should take close to the same precautions I would with regards to the gym as I would in Spring or Fall. Lastly, I stuck to my guns!!!!!!!