(no subject)
I know I've been a big drag lately, and I'm sorry about that, but I'm dreading this week more than I can say. I guess the truth is that I'm scared. I want to believe that I'm going to be ok, but no matter how many people tell me I'll be fine, or how many people try to speak words of wisdom, I know that in reality, none of them knows what they're talking about. I'm the only one who's done this before, and even I can't truly say how bad it's going to be. I'm scared, and there's no one I'll believe if they tell me I'll be ok. I'm actually frightened. That just doesn't happen to me.
I'm losing my hair again, which is just demoralizing. I'm worried that my eyebrows are going to go this time, which would suck big time. I'm mentally and physically tired of all this, and I just want it to stop. If I had the choice, I'm not sure I'd wake up tomorrow. It's frightening to think things like that, even if they're only half true. I'm too fucking stubborn to give up that easily, but I always wish I was less concerned with everything.
Regardless, I wish I could at least have the chance to tell everyone what I need them to know, because I don't know how long I'll be out of comission. Alas, there's no time, and I probably wouldn't do it right anyway. I need someone to make me stop being scared, so I can stop being this way and go back to the way I used to be. I liked me better then, too.
In case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.
B
I'm losing my hair again, which is just demoralizing. I'm worried that my eyebrows are going to go this time, which would suck big time. I'm mentally and physically tired of all this, and I just want it to stop. If I had the choice, I'm not sure I'd wake up tomorrow. It's frightening to think things like that, even if they're only half true. I'm too fucking stubborn to give up that easily, but I always wish I was less concerned with everything.
Regardless, I wish I could at least have the chance to tell everyone what I need them to know, because I don't know how long I'll be out of comission. Alas, there's no time, and I probably wouldn't do it right anyway. I need someone to make me stop being scared, so I can stop being this way and go back to the way I used to be. I liked me better then, too.
In case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.
B