Part of the problem is...taewakanNovember 12 2009, 02:03:46 UTC
the idea of defining moments. We tend to define things by the worst possible definition. Most people aren't bad ALL the time. They are just people. Everyone has issues. They are different issues, for the most part, kinda like allergies. I had a buddy once that was a thief. He would tell you this up front. Kinda like a disclaimer (many people are not so honest) and then he would steal from you. He and I got along because I never left anything out for him to steal. But most people deny their true nature - their allergies. This is self-denial. If they can't admit their issues to themselves, then they have NO chance of admitting them to another. Which isn't the same thing as actually dealing with the issue, of course. (But it is a step in the process.) Your friend might have been a REALLY good friend in all areas except keeping her lips and vagina off of your man. Of course, it doesn't say much for your man, either - an issue many women seem to skip RIGHT over. It takes two to cheat - at least in this game. Or she may not have been a good friend, depending upon your definition of friendship. I had to redefine my terms before I became healthy(er). And then I had to accept no less than my new definition in those I associated with closely. Of course, it has also been my experience that once you settle on a new definition you tend to attract people that exemplify that definition. The universe's way of letting you practice, so to speak. Good luck with your new definitions! You are not alone.
We tend to define things by the worst possible definition. Most people aren't bad ALL the time. They are just people. Everyone has issues. They are different issues, for the most part, kinda like allergies. I had a buddy once that was a thief. He would tell you this up front. Kinda like a disclaimer (many people are not so honest) and then he would steal from you. He and I got along because I never left anything out for him to steal.
But most people deny their true nature - their allergies.
This is self-denial. If they can't admit their issues to themselves, then they have NO chance of admitting them to another. Which isn't the same thing as actually dealing with the issue, of course. (But it is a step in the process.)
Your friend might have been a REALLY good friend in all areas except keeping her lips and vagina off of your man.
Of course, it doesn't say much for your man, either - an issue many women seem to skip RIGHT over. It takes two to cheat - at least in this game.
Or she may not have been a good friend, depending upon your definition of friendship. I had to redefine my terms before I became healthy(er). And then I had to accept no less than my new definition in those I associated with closely.
Of course, it has also been my experience that once you settle on a new definition you tend to attract people that exemplify that definition. The universe's way of letting you practice, so to speak.
Good luck with your new definitions!
You are not alone.
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