Visit and Videos
I think you all know the story about Denise. She was a childhood friend through middle school and through the beginning of highschool, then we fell out and about five years after the fall out we started tentatively talking again. Well she and Jason stopped by and we had dinner on Friday, then hung out on Saturday and looked around downtown Asheville for awhile. They also got to meet Isadora (she has actually grown since then, hit a growth spurt right after they left!). I am sure I talked way too much, I do when I am nervous and am with someone shy who tends to clam up and get quiet instead, I talk innanely about everything, sometimes if I am feeling humorous I joke a lot as was the case. It went better this time well I thought it did, it seemed less awkward. In some ways she's changed her style, become more stern about certain issues where I think I have become more liberal, maturity level in the sense that she seems all grown up now though not in the sense she can't joke around she still easily talks about silly things. I had fun, it was good to have some social interaction.
On another note Sam has been intensively studying anger management watching online vids and I have a chance to hear about them, apparently I have anger management issues as well (shocking isn't it? <---- sarcasm). Its perhaps the root of a right many of my social problems. But according the videos even if you improve not acting out but appropriately and maturely dealing with your anger, not doing all the passive aggressive bullshit, people still pick up on any amount of hositility that you may naturally harbor, so the social situation may not even improve. I have a violent past, filled with violent (to the point of murderous people) I am not really sure how not to have this under-lying current of the grumpies (though I do not have murderous level anger nothing like that). I've always had to be tough as nails and firm or I wouldn't survive, so how do you switch off that primitive basic instinct? It's really a tricky situation, believe it or not there are some positive things that come along with the way that I am, certain traits of mine Sam and I depend on to get things done or to get through challenging situations. In anycase I have no idea what the middle ground in all of this is, none, not even a vague little twinkling of it.
On another note Sam has been intensively studying anger management watching online vids and I have a chance to hear about them, apparently I have anger management issues as well (shocking isn't it? <---- sarcasm). Its perhaps the root of a right many of my social problems. But according the videos even if you improve not acting out but appropriately and maturely dealing with your anger, not doing all the passive aggressive bullshit, people still pick up on any amount of hositility that you may naturally harbor, so the social situation may not even improve. I have a violent past, filled with violent (to the point of murderous people) I am not really sure how not to have this under-lying current of the grumpies (though I do not have murderous level anger nothing like that). I've always had to be tough as nails and firm or I wouldn't survive, so how do you switch off that primitive basic instinct? It's really a tricky situation, believe it or not there are some positive things that come along with the way that I am, certain traits of mine Sam and I depend on to get things done or to get through challenging situations. In anycase I have no idea what the middle ground in all of this is, none, not even a vague little twinkling of it.