You are Ol' Chummy
You look old for your age. Hygiene is just that thing that happens to other Pirates. You like what you like. Taking a cannonball to the head in your younger days hasn't helped. Not one to take risks, you enjoy quiet evenings on your bunk. You're a collector. You like things. Not, "nice" things- just things. Some people think of you as a blight on humanity - a carbuncle on the alabaster skin of man. You think of yourself as a swell guy with lots of friend - just the one, but lots of him. If you weren't a pirate, but rather lived in the 21st Century, you would be the kind of guy who has played a computer game for four days without thinking of showering and living solely on Mountain Dew and Cool Ranch Doritos. What you lack in physical attractiveness you more than make up for in interesting skin conditions. What's the upside of all of this? With the Captain's lifestyle, you are likely to be running the ship in a week or two. Ahead! Warp Factor ONE!
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